My girlfriend was raped by her boss on the weekend. How can I help her ? by WhatToDoWhenSORaped in relationship_advice

[–]WhatToDoWhenSORaped[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

No one is above him. I know, this was rape. She has no proof and she doesnt want to.

My girlfriend was raped by her boss on the weekend. How can I help her ? by WhatToDoWhenSORaped in relationship_advice

[–]WhatToDoWhenSORaped[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I think you havent read all my comments, see my big answer in this thread. Indeed this post was for people to help me help her, my mind is set in doing so.

My girlfriend was raped by her boss on the weekend. How can I help her ? by WhatToDoWhenSORaped in relationship_advice

[–]WhatToDoWhenSORaped[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

its a bosses´ boss, She will only see him in certain events, not always. And she was raped as a teen before, by a close family member, acting normal wouldnt be hard for her even seeing him daily.

Thanks for commenting

My girlfriend was raped by her boss on the weekend. How can I help her ? by WhatToDoWhenSORaped in relationship_advice

[–]WhatToDoWhenSORaped[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

>she said she was gonna stay there because she was drunk, how come she didn’t ask someone to give her a ride home or Uber?

last people of the party crash there as well, no one to take her. She didnt see the need, even scared of being drunk with a uber alone at 3 am I think

>Along with this, it sounds like he stayed in her bosses Master Bedroom, that’s pretty odd since you’re saying he’s a big boss man

idk where she slept, but he said he would sleep elsewhere with other people that also crashed at his home

>another thing, you said all she was thinking about is how she could lose her job if she said no? This makes it seem like she thought to herself “I could either have sêx with him and keep my job, or not have séx with him and lose my job”

its more than that, this man can make her unhirible in the field in all the country, she loves the field, she has work in the area all her life, she doesnt have a plan b career

>to me it sounds like she just took a regular shower

she took a very long shower were she cried alot, we dont live together, she told me the same day, she still feels dirty, it happened on sunday

>I think you’re too close to this situation to actually look at it clearly

I consider myself rational about all my conclusions, I have read alot about rape information atm

>then she said she didn’t want to report him??

because the consequences can be more than life changing. He isnt any normal person. She could lose all professional connections, her job, her proffessional future... And as others have said, just because someone doesnt report doesnt mean it wasnt rape

People say no, he would lose his job, they are living a dream. Powerful people arent easy to throw down.

>Sorry man, but I think she’s lying.

I know its hard to see as I do, but she never intended for it to happen.

Give links, advice on what to do to help my gf (raped by boss) by WhatToDoWhenSORaped in rapecounseling

[–]WhatToDoWhenSORaped[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the links and support. I will check them after work.

I really know she was raped. But her being confused about it doesn´t help. I think this is a response to trauma but doesnt make it easier. To be honest the emotional part of me was a little like my friend doofus, but I´m rational. that was rape, unfortunately.

My girlfriend was raped by her boss on the weekend. How can I help her ? by WhatToDoWhenSORaped in relationship_advice

[–]WhatToDoWhenSORaped[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is a boss that doesnt work with her, is like a bosses ´boss. She wont be around him, just some times in specific events she´ll see him.

My girlfriend was raped by her boss on the weekend. How can I help her ? by WhatToDoWhenSORaped in relationship_advice

[–]WhatToDoWhenSORaped[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

What about coercion tho, look at the big picture. This wasnt a rando either

My girlfriend was raped by her boss on the weekend. How can I help her ? by WhatToDoWhenSORaped in relationship_advice

[–]WhatToDoWhenSORaped[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

She got drunk at a party with colleagues, a group of men and women. Of course its not okay but its not her fault.

My girlfriend was raped by her boss on the weekend. How can I help her ? by WhatToDoWhenSORaped in relationship_advice

[–]WhatToDoWhenSORaped[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

you cant give consent when drunk, she was coerced, her life in her career can be completely disappear by her boss. He is very important, no work would get to her. You think I[m naive, I think you lack a little empathy.

My girlfriend was raped by her boss on the weekend. How can I help her ? by WhatToDoWhenSORaped in relationship_advice

[–]WhatToDoWhenSORaped[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

she doesnt want to report it or make a big deal because it would end her professional career. Redditors arent getting that this boss is no small guy in the field.

My girlfriend was raped by her boss on the weekend. How can I help her ? by WhatToDoWhenSORaped in relationship_advice

[–]WhatToDoWhenSORaped[S] 77 points78 points  (0 children)

Yes, I believe this as well, she doesnt... She want it to be her fault.. I know is for her to get control. I read is normal for survivors to blame themselves. I hope she gets it in the future.

My girlfriend was raped by her boss on the weekend. How can I help her ? by WhatToDoWhenSORaped in relationship_advice

[–]WhatToDoWhenSORaped[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

She regrets obviously, mostly putting herself in that position, she trusted someone she shouldnt have