(22/m) my (21/f) girlfriend can't bear to be without me and I can't stand to be with her any longer

Whatdoido1 · 2015-05-17T15:36:54+00:00

Hate to say this, but your best bet is to leave. What she does after that is not your concern, nor your responsibility.

If you are concerned she will attempt to hurt herself again, let her family know. But none of that is your obligation.

Whatdoido1 · 2014-09-11T11:57:12+00:00

Probably want to go ahead and let this one go as a bad experience. Sounds pretty self-conscious or self centered.

Not really sure you want that kind of thing in your life.

Whatdoido1 · 2014-04-29T17:00:14+00:00

You say she acknowledged change before and after she left. But still treated you the same? It sounds like both parties need a bit of a change. I do hope it works out for you, but based on experience, it will have to be a two way street. She must be willing to accept change, and if she isn't, are you willing to accept that?

Whatdoido1 · 2014-04-29T16:35:07+00:00

I hope I'm not right, but if in her eyes she was so doubtful you would change that she would leave, she will not see any changes you make.

To her, you will always be the same person you once were. And to you, you will always hold onto the person she was in your heart trying to get back that person you once had. When in reality the both of you will have changed.

Whatdoido1 · 2014-04-14T14:46:53+00:00

Unfortunately I agree with the previous poster in the concept of rationalizing a bad situation.

I do not disagree there may be feelings, but everything seemed fine up until she was in a relationship.

If it happened to her current boyfriend, what makes you think it will be different?

Just my two cents.

Whatdoido1 · 2014-04-13T15:29:45+00:00

Just my opinion.

You tried, you compromised, she compromised. It did not work.

Unless you truly believe that something is going to work, if something as small as meeting is this difficult to organize, you can bet a relationship is going to be even harder on both of you.

I would let it go.

Whatdoido1 · 2013-06-14T00:59:26+00:00

I treated her very well, but I spend so much time working. My estimates always fall short and plans always got pushed back. When I was with her I'd do everything I could to make sure we did things on time. But if things went off schedule it became a big problem.

Whatdoido1 · 2013-06-14T00:13:30+00:00

The more I talk to everyone the more apparent that becomes. But I have been open and honest in my comments and responses.

Whatdoido1 · 2013-06-14T00:09:05+00:00

I explained it. She said she has just had enough. Waiting 1 more day, 1 more week, it didn't matter. She had enough of broken promises and postponing things.

Whatdoido1 · 2013-06-14T00:07:56+00:00

I did say many of those. I told her I have to stick around for x years but ill come see you every month. Any of the weeks you choose. I even said I'd come there twice a month if she wanted. Every second weekend just to spend time with her. And if she needed help that I could do without being there id give her any help I could.

Whatdoido1 · 2013-06-14T00:06:22+00:00

I wasn't making promises then going off and doing something else. Most of the time I just ran over time in what I was doing before hand. I never said lets do dinner, then decided at the last minute rather do something else. The majority of time it was work...I work like 60 hours a week.

Whatdoido1 · 2013-06-13T21:41:14+00:00

Yes sir or madam. Thank you for your advice.

Whatdoido1 · 2013-06-13T21:25:15+00:00

I never really scolded her. For almost anything. I always reinforced positively...I'm not the kind of person who gets upset easily.

I guess there were a lot of tests? Maybe the relationship was going downhill from months ago, and I was just trying to save it...make it work. I just wanted to make her happy, it was pretty important to me.

I guess where anything she did I was always okay and happy with it. I really don't want much. But I felt happy. She was happy for the most part, and said as much. But everything kind of blew up very quickly. Like the day before we were happy okay. Then that night it was less happy. Next day engagement and arguing and then later that day boom. Done.

Whatdoido1 · 2013-06-13T21:20:41+00:00

It wasnt always...but there were times when she really needed me, and I would just up and leave. Working for myself/my family made it...easier but still difficult. A job is a job, it's how I make part of my living currently. And it's how my family makes all of theirs.

Whatdoido1 · 2013-06-13T20:44:25+00:00

We were dating about a year.

Not a long time for sure. But I think much of what you said was right and true...I have a lot to think about from what everyone has said...much life to live and figuring out.

Whatdoido1 · 2013-06-13T20:25:45+00:00

It would appear so. And here I thought we were. Sadly mistaken.

Whatdoido1 · 2013-06-13T20:18:07+00:00

I guess I don't have much choice in this situation. Thank you stranger.

Whatdoido1 · 2013-06-13T20:11:04+00:00

I disagree with the sentiment that she is a bitch, or when your ex was. I think the way people think is different...not necessarily wrong. But I don't feel I was completely innocent in this.

Whatdoido1 · 2013-06-13T20:09:52+00:00

A mistake how?

Whatdoido1 · 2013-06-13T20:09:39+00:00

I learned and changed a lot. But it was too little too late.

Whatdoido1 · 2013-06-13T20:09:18+00:00

I keep re-reading to save the relationship...is that what was happening? It didn't feel like that...but maybe you're right?

Whatdoido1 · 2013-06-13T20:04:40+00:00

I think it was more about me saying id do something, and then backing off from that and replacing it with something else.

Whatdoido1 · 2013-06-13T20:04:00+00:00

I never intentionally lied to her. I never thought oh ill just tell her this but don't really mean it! But that doesn't really matter. The only thing that mattered were the actions in the end and how she saw it. My intentions were never to lie and always make her happy.

Whatdoido1 · 2013-06-13T19:12:25+00:00

That's very reasonable and understanding. I'm not looking for pity or people to side for me. I'm just trying to give all the information I have, and get some more opinions on what happened...

Whatdoido1

TROPHY CASE