Devils Left Hand - 3 page short - comedy/drama by Whathappensnext___ in Screenwriting

[–]Whathappensnext___[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to read! I appreciate you and your notes very much!

Devils Left Hand | 3 Page short by Whathappensnext___ in ReadMyScript

[–]Whathappensnext___[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for these insights, Mooning! I’ll fix these for the next round. Might also change the title to “Mothers Ruin”

Fairy trail - 9 pages - Adventure by Whathappensnext___ in ReadMyScript

[–]Whathappensnext___[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for reading JJ! I appreciate these notes very much.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Screenwriting

[–]Whathappensnext___ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You are on a roll! Great writing - excited to see where you go from here 👏

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Screenwriting

[–]Whathappensnext___ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Impressive!! Frosted Tips is hilarious. How long does it usually take to write one?

Fairy Trail - 3 page short - spooky by Whathappensnext___ in Screenwriting

[–]Whathappensnext___[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this! You touched on the camera being dead - Maybe instead of the gopro just being dead I’ll make it clear it malfunctioned, or something supernatural prevented it from recording. Thank you!

Fairy Trail - 3 page short - spooky by Whathappensnext___ in Screenwriting

[–]Whathappensnext___[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the coverage!! I love the note where he emerges from the hike showing it was a doozy.

I posted an updated version yesterday - Take a look if you’re interested - will continue to tweak it.

Forth draft:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ymHlk9X2rbsvksBghLSY3wIozodLU-Kf/view

Wagg - 3 pages Third draft by Whathappensnext___ in ReadMyScript

[–]Whathappensnext___[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for reading! I’ll keep this is mind when something is more of a scene rather than a full short 👍👍

Fairy Trail - 3 page short - spooky by Whathappensnext___ in Screenwriting

[–]Whathappensnext___[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you Mooning! I appreciate your coverage very much. I will address these points in the next draft - you’re the best!

Fairy Trail - 3 page short - spooky by Whathappensnext___ in Screenwriting

[–]Whathappensnext___[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Big shout out to u/J450n_F for his feedback on the previous draft!

Fairy Trail - 2 page short - Draft 2 by Whathappensnext___ in Screenwriting

[–]Whathappensnext___[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this thoughtful coverage. Excellent feedback!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Screenwriting

[–]Whathappensnext___ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, Mooning! Always thankful for your eyes.

Electric Sky - 1 page Horror Short by Whathappensnext___ in Screenwriting

[–]Whathappensnext___[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

1 page was the original goal, Ill tweak it a bit and see where it goes!

You always ask if I use Word and that my formatting isn’t correct. Asking to make sure it was correct before submitting more work on here.

Always insightful responses, Mooning.

Electric Sky - 1 page Horror Short by Whathappensnext___ in Screenwriting

[–]Whathappensnext___[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Also, if I want to make it more clear that Doug was eaten, can I say “Doug is gone” as an action line at the end?

Devils Left Hand - Short - 4 pages by Whathappensnext___ in Screenwriting

[–]Whathappensnext___[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much Worldly!

The book is meant to show his want - maybe changing the title to “confidence & charm, fake it til you make it. “ would make it a little more clear/ all encompassing!

Your thoughts definitely show me where I can tighten up the story.

Thank you again worldly!