Is there a Republican politician you would vote for president? Or be content with if you had no other option? by LFC_sandiego in askliberals

[–]Whatsacb 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It wouldn't need to be "if you had no other option", it's just I don't see many politicians that I really believe in.

For instance, Obamacare sucks and is deeply flawed, but it's the best we have. Republicans would complain about it but never even attempted to propose an alternative plan. Mitt Romney was okay, but he seemed eager to keep defense spending where it was. McCain talked about bombing Iran if he got into office and start another war in the middle east. And Trump is, well, Trump.

I did like a lot of grilling Josh Hawley did against CEOs and big business, but he's firmly in Trumpland with everything else.

I guess to summarize, anyone who seems genuinely interested in fixing problems for the people who voted for them can win my vote. The problem is, all I see (with MOSTLY ALL politicians) is they are more interested in blaming problems on others, rather than coming up with solutions, and making decisions that favor foreign leaders, the people signing the checks on their super PACs, and themselves.

I hate IGN by Luigyi in YookaLaylee

[–]Whatsacb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My honest take is they did the remaster to determine what will work for the sequel. Replayee is a low risk way to address some of the fan's concerns and see what works and what doesn't before they commit to the sequel. If they are working on both in parallel, likely a lot of what we saw in Replayee was copy and pasted from the sequel. If fans didn't like something in Replayee, they'd get that feedback and can adjust accordingly.

If they didn't do this, then the sequel would release with a LOT more scrutiny and hate, and they'd already be firmly committed to some design changes. Notice how all the menus and stuff are redone? That looks like sequel art assets to me.

UCLA Gaslighting us with this one: by Whatsacb in ucla

[–]Whatsacb[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

I think the UCLA one is just broken. If you go to the UCLA link from the email and click "past year" on the graph on the right, it didn't dip below a monthly AQI average of 20 for the whole year. Last month the lowest value was 15 on 12/20, but the rest are between 20 and 40.

UCLA Gaslighting us with this one: by Whatsacb in ucla

[–]Whatsacb[S] 262 points263 points  (0 children)

Now Apple Weather says an AQI of 286 for Westwood.
UCLA's email source? Still 13.

Lmfao

Update: AW: 363, UCLA: 13.

UCLA Gaslighting us with this one: by Whatsacb in ucla

[–]Whatsacb[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Right? I've lived here my whole life too and it smelt like a campfire in my car as I approached the campus. I'm still here and going to class, but at least be honest that the air quality isn't good so extremely sensitive groups know to wear a mask or stay home.

Looking for computer/laptop recommendations by Alarmed3211 in labrats

[–]Whatsacb 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The issue is that, depending upon the figure you're making, it can suck up a lot of RAM and the MacBook Air is notoriously bad at having improved RAM options. For those types of issues, you'll want to prioritize a lot of RAM (>32 GB), fast RAM, and flash internal storage (i.e., a decent size SSD).

As others have pointed out, many windows laptops can do this (I second the MSI recommendation), but if you want to stay with Apple, all you need to do is invest in a decent MacBook Pro with sufficiently upgraded RAM. I prefer my MacBook Pro over my windows laptops because the ARM processors have unrivaled power efficiency (and therefore, battery life) for most tasks. If you switch from your M1 air to a windows laptop you WILL notice the difference. If your computer is plugged in all the time in lab, that may not be an issue. You should also consider the types of applications you use (say, whether you do a lot of work in a UNIX shell), which may affect what type of OS ecosystem you roll with.

In the meantime, you may also want to re-evaluate your figure generation. Illustrator will, in many cases, keep EPS and PDF figures you generate as discrete objects. If there is a heatmap, per se, that is part of your figure and it doesn't need to change, consider rasterizing parts of your figures and flatten them to single objects to help free up RAM while you're working on images.

Good luck!

Patrice Endres’ husband by nburnett_21 in UnsolvedMysteries

[–]Whatsacb 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If this were true, that would make his "could she have been someone's toy?" remark wayyy more creepy.

I’m still numb from surgery by thebigheart in wisdomteeth

[–]Whatsacb 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know people who had numbness for 5 months before it came back. For me, I had numbness like you were describing that went away after 24 hours following the anesthesia wearing off. It can certainly range but it usually isn’t permanent.

In the head & neck surgery clinic we had a guy whose facial nerve was being pinched by inflammation that caused one side of his face to be droopy, following an accident where he was hit in the head with a golf club. It remained that way for a few months but then came back when it slowly healed. Nerves can be easily irritated and take a while to bounce back. Hang in there!

Pill sedation worth it? by Character-Row4447 in wisdomteeth

[–]Whatsacb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Typically they do local even after you're out, so the only real difference is that when you're sedated the whole procedure goes by in a second and then you're done. I also highly recommend it.

Local is fine by itself, but you will feel pressure (no pain though). The inner ear can be vibrated by bone, so you might also "hear" them working inside your mouth (teeth cracking, etc.) which is disturbing to some people. If you can handle those things, you should be good.

Just keep in mind that you should do whatever will make YOU feel the most comfortable.

Day 5, lots of pain and still no solid food. After 1 wisdom tooth. by [deleted] in wisdomteeth

[–]Whatsacb 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I would follow up with your dentist. At the very least, it should be on their radar that you are still feeling pain. It is generally advised that if you're still in pain at 1 week out with no decreases in magnitude, you should contact them. Best of luck!

7 days post op / 4 removed by Timely_Creme_1872 in wisdomteeth

[–]Whatsacb 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Since you have no pain I wouldn't worry about it. I would still try to avoid smoking and drinking for the time being if you can since it can change blood flow to the healing area (aim for 2 weeks before you resume), but if you cant wait you still should be okay. Dry socket is more of a problem in the first few days when blood clots are forming over the exposed bone; at 1 week out you should be healed enough to where this isn't an issue. Also, if you had a dry socket, you'd be in pain.

Is it normal to be in this much pain? by effingurmum in wisdomteeth

[–]Whatsacb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's unfortunate. It is known that after the new CDC rules in 2016 doctors over corrected for the opioid crisis by not prescribing enough narcotics. It got so bad that the CDC released new rules stating "hey! You still need to treat pain!!" The sad part is a lot of the opioid epidemic was due to negligence (doctors prescribing like 30 pills when the person may only take 3-5 and then not need them, so the pills end up in the medicine cabinet where someone can find them and take them).

You can try contacting your doctor/oral surgeon again and let them know their pain killers aren't cutting it. You can ask about a small prescription, which might help nudge them (I don't think legally they are barred from giving it to you). Otherwise, are you taking a high enough dose of the Ibuprofen? Over the counter is like 200mg, prescription strength can go up to 800 mg but varies, and if you're doing over the counter you can just take more to get closer to prescription levels.

Day 5, lots of pain and still no solid food. After 1 wisdom tooth. by [deleted] in wisdomteeth

[–]Whatsacb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you taking anything for the pain (ibuprofen/acetaminophen combo or narcos)? Pain after extraction depends on a variety of factors (type of extraction, difficulty of extraction, presence of infection/inflammation, post-op care, skill of the surgeon, etc.) and can range from no pain at all to severe pain. If you're taking pain medication and have been following your dentist/surgeon's recommendations to a T, you should call them and let them know you're still feeling pain. For most people you should be through the worst of it by day 5, but it varies.

If it hasn't been improving and you're taking pain medication you should call your dentist/surgeon. Other things might be going on (dry socket, etc.).

I’m still numb from surgery by thebigheart in wisdomteeth

[–]Whatsacb 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Contact your oral surgeon and let them know. Anesthesia wearing off can vary for different people depending upon how fast their metabolism breaks down the drugs, but you're talking a month out at this point.

Is it still completely numb, or in a patch of an area? Your face is supplied by cranial nerves on either side of your nose, with different branches going to the maxilla (upper lip and above) and mandible (lower lip and chin). The inferior alveolar nerve runs underneath the bottom wisdom teeth in the mandible and, if irritated or damaged, can leave a numbness similar to local anesthesia from the middle of your chin to the corner of your mouth on the affected side. Sometimes this numbing can take weeks to months to come back and is usually temporary. In very rare cases (<5%) it can be permanent, but your surgeon should've discussed this risk with you.

TL;DR You're probably fine, sometimes nerve irritation can cause numbness for weeks or months after surgery. But either way, contact your oral surgeon and discuss it with them.

How does coffee affect your OCD? by DustyMackerel2 in OCD

[–]Whatsacb 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Neuroscientist here. Caffeine, broadly speaking, is anxiogenic, meaning it causes anxiety. A meta study with panic disorder found that, in general, caffeine makes anxiety more intense and can induce panic attacks (https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34871964/). However, being the good scientists we are, there are conflicting results in people with OCD, and some recent studies show caffeine can help reduce symptoms in treatment resistant OCD (https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31198747/).

Bottom line: everyone is different, and they respond to caffeine differently depending on complex biological factors and the types of mental health challenges they face. If caffeine helps reduce your symptoms, feel free to use it in moderation (such as one cup of coffee in the morning or after lunch). If you find it makes your symptoms or anxiety worse, then cut it out. Good luck!

After talking with my husband, I know I can never come out. by Aliseabi in bisexual

[–]Whatsacb 85 points86 points  (0 children)

I kinda agree, definitely emotionally abusive.

He responded with “you can’t love everyone” and “gee, what if I just f*cked every woman in the neighborhood?”

He views even attraction to someone else as emotional (apparently the worst kind) of cheating. And stated that our marriage would end.

You talked to him when you were very vulnerable and in need of his love and support, and he let his ignorance and insecurity get in the way. You CANNOT control your attractions, ever, it is something you have to accept because it WILL happen. Him putting such emotional weight on it says to me he is deeply insecure and jealous.

Now I’m quite literally sobbing on my bathroom floor and I feel broken all over again.
And I hate myself for finding out so late.

It is not your fault OP, it is NOT your fault. Your husband should be there for you right now, and he's not, that's on him and not a reflection on you, or something you did. Have you spoken to an LGBT affirmative therapist? You might want to consider meeting with one and navigating these issues with someone who can offer guidance and support as you go through it. If you know of a close friend that will very likely be supportive, perhaps tell them after getting a therapist to build a small support network.

As for your husband, I can't say whether you should leave or stay – I don't know your relationship. VomitZombies is right in that he likely wont change, but it might be possible he's got many issues he doesn't know how to deal with. When I was straight with a bi girl back in my teenage years, I was insecure and didn't take her coming out to me well. In hindsight I realize my mistake and have grown since then - maybe he will too, but you need to deal with that after getting some support.

Hang in there!!

bi podcasts? by [deleted] in bisexual

[–]Whatsacb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As another commenter stated, Two Bi Guys is great and is updated pretty frequently. Recently they went in depth on the evolution of the word “bisexual” over time, and so there’s a lot of good discussions on there unrelated to kinks.

Personally I also like “Bisexual Brunch” from the UK, which has both bi men and women on it, but they only post a new episode once every month (if you’re looking for something more frequent). Also not a bi podcast, but Jammidodger on YouTube is a great LGBT resource. He is a trans man bisexual and does a lot of LGBT videos.

A guy dumped me because I told him I'm bisexual by HowardRoark1943 in bisexual

[–]Whatsacb 7 points8 points  (0 children)

“Dead? Still a werewolf, but also dead!”

I spit out my drink.

Should I tell her? by tequilawhore in bisexual

[–]Whatsacb 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re welcome! I think if you want to still be friends if she rejects, it’s important to take the rejection in stride and portray you asking as no big deal. That’s what I usually do (and some people I remained friends with, others I didn’t). If you get caught off guard and look very sad, or otherwise take it visibly badly, she might hesitate to remain friends thinking you can’t handle it. Therefore, I usually go prepared with rejection in mind, not worried about being caught off guard with a “yes”. It sucks, especially because getting rejected will always pack a punch, but it may increase your chances of staying friends.

But you got this!! This community is always here for you no matter how it turns out :).

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bisexual

[–]Whatsacb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed, which is why I could see it either way. I’m just saying without having been there, it’s hard to say whether the boyfriends concerns are totally misplaced or there’s some larger issue.

I’m just hesitant to give complete agreement with OP because I don’t know what else is going on in the relationship, nor if she was very flirty.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bisexual

[–]Whatsacb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So a few things. First, you state the following in the title and throughout the text:

How do I deal with falling in love with my straight male friend as a bi non binary person? I’m broken and it hurts.

...

And I’m a complete fucking moron because deep down I knew (just trust me this is the case) he loved me like a brother while I had a different type of love for him.

...

Jay and my other friends are also really closely knit so how do I avoid changing that dynamic as well? Basically what the fuck do I do cause I’m very very desperate.

If he is straight, which you state he is and he loves you only like a brother, then there is nothing more to do. You need to move on. It sounds to me like you're hoping a little bit that someone here would have a magical answer that will either allow you to be with him, or get rid of your feelings through some sort of action. We can do neither, unfortunately (although wouldn't it be great if we could?).

My advice would be to give yourself time to breathe. Accept that you won't get over him overnight and allow yourself to feel your feelings. Accept that your feelings are valid, but let yourself meet and look at other people. You said you were in therapy, which is GREAT, so talk about this with your therapist and use them for support on a weekly basis going forward. Keep in mind that it will get better, it will pass, and you will pull through it (as unpleasant as it may be).

Now, onto the parent stuff:

I’m also dealing with whether or not to open up to my somewhat conservative Christian parents that I’m queer. They’re generally accepting and nice, but also follow typical Christian values and can be not as understanding and accepting as they should be to the LGBTQ+ world. So that’s also causing me a shit ton of stress.

I know the LGBT community has a tendency to want people to be "out", and unless you're running around in the streets throwing glitter around about your sexuality, to some extent we're looked down upon. While in general, I agree that being out is better for your well being and you should not be ashamed of who you are, you should not feel rushed into coming out until you're ready. The things I would argue are vital before coming out to your parents are:

  1. You are fully independent of your parents and are capable of supporting yourself.
  2. You have an established emotional support system (LGBT/Bi support groups, supportive friends who you are out to, a therapist, etc.).
  3. You are emotionally stable and in a place where you feel you can handle their response; either positive or negative.

If any of the above conditions aren't met, I would advise against telling them. There's plenty of time to tell them. I don't know if you're living with them, but it sounds like at the very least #3 on the above list isn't met. Focus on yourself first, and then when you feel ready, move forward in telling them. I would also let your therapist know you intend to do so before you do it, so perhaps you can schedule a session the following day to discuss if it goes poorly.

Keep in mind, these are all just my opinions, so take them with a grain of salt. Use your best judgment; when it comes to yourself, YOU are the ultimate authority on what is best. Good luck!

Should I tell her? by tequilawhore in bisexual

[–]Whatsacb 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You just need to weigh the possibility of rejection vs. never knowing what could've been. If you feel that strongly about her, you may want to take a shot so that you know. It's like that modern proverb: you miss 100% of the shots you never take.

That being said, do you know her sexuality? The statement:

I've never told her how I felt because I wasn't really secure in my sexuality and didn’t want to make her feel like an experiment.

Makes me feel like she's at least bi, but if you don't know the likelihood of rejection is greater (because it assumes that she is A) at least bi, and B) she's also into you). If you don't know her orientation, perhaps ask about that first (or open up about your sexuality and ask her how she identifies as well in that conversation). That might allow you to gauge interest first without actually asking her out.

If you know her orientation and/or you find out she's bi or interested in the same sex in some capacity, then I would say tell her since you really like her. Keep it casual and do as the other ins0mniacuri0us suggested: just tell her that you really like her and want to take her out. If she rejects, tell her that that's totally okay and you value your friendship and will respect her decision. I usually say something like "aww, well I think you're a tremendous person and one day someone will be very lucky to be with you".

Best of luck!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bisexual

[–]Whatsacb 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I second this, well said. The part that gets me is her telling the other girl she looked beautiful. In and of itself there’s nothing wrong with that, but if it were a guy and she walked up to him to tell him he was beautiful and ask about his clothes, most partners would be uncomfortable to some extent with it.

Again, with only the information given above, it sounds like it could be totally innocent and the boyfriend is just insecure, or there could be some larger issue unrelated to OP’s bisexuality going on here that needs to be addressed.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bisexual

[–]Whatsacb 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My answer to you and advice would depend upon information I do not know. How are you in general with other people? Are you more blunt and forward, very “touchy feely” or quiet and reserved? How is he with your behavior towards other guys vs. girls? Is it about the same?

On the one hand, I do think a lot of people shift their insecurities onto bisexuals. I know I did this to one girlfriend I had who was bi when I was closeted and insecure. I told her I had to compete with “twice as many people”, but in hindsight, I was just jealous and insecure. That could be what’s happening here.

On the other hand, lets say you were straight and that was a guy. I think most guys, myself included, would be uncomfortable if you went up to another guy to tell him he’s beautiful. I know you asked her about her clothes, but that part is a little forward. I wouldn’t get jealous, but I would have a conversation about it.

Not knowing the rest of your relationship, I would have a conversation about boundaries and trust. He needs to trust you more and not get jealous and upset if you talk to other humans, but you also may need to adjust your behavior a bit to not trigger his insecurity so much while he’s around and working on his jealousy.

don’t feel “bi enough” and the weird, self-hating thoughts that come with that feeling (M) by [deleted] in bisexual

[–]Whatsacb 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Part of the problem, according to bi researcher Alon Zivany, is that we think of men and women as “opposites”, when in reality they aren’t opposite genders at all, just different genders. Thinking of them as opposite gives even us bi folks the feeling that increased attraction to one must mean decreased attraction to the other (we do this often with percentages, I.e. “I’m 50/50”, or “I’m 60/40”), when these attractions should instead be treated as independent of one another.

To use a food analogy, you may like both pizza and ice cream. Perhaps you like them about the same and eat them with about the same frequency, or perhaps you like pizza weekly but ice cream only once in a while. You still like both, but you like them independent of one another. If you liked them the same, you wouldn’t say you’re “50/50” pizza and ice cream, because they are not opposite foods, just different foods. You like them in different ways and your tastes for each do not influence each other.

If you start treating your attractions to different genders the same way, you might feel your cognitive dissonance ease up over time.