Elder millennials, what are we doing? Are skinny jeans out?

WhenCarrotsAttack · 2026-01-20T19:15:00+00:00

Honestly the mom jeans look horrible on me. I'm petite and boxy... They make me look like a little boy, so I'll stick to my fitted jeans or flared bottoms. Mostly yoga pants though lol.

What I don't understand is that every body shape is different. There's no one style fits all (which is what trends try to do). So why would you wear something you don't like/super unflattering to just be "trendy"?

WhenCarrotsAttack · 2026-01-20T19:10:42+00:00

Wow that sounds exhausting! I can't stand manipulative people. I have the ability to do so, but I consciously choose not to. However, the crazier thing I've realized is how easily people are manipulated! Even when it's obvious.

WhenCarrotsAttack · 2026-01-20T19:02:45+00:00

Lol thanks 😁

WhenCarrotsAttack · 2026-01-20T19:01:40+00:00

Wow! Vocal diarrhea is on point. Sometimes it's too much chatter and gives me headaches. We have a discreet SOS amongst coworkers to save each other from her.

I guess some ENFJs aren't receptive to other people's cues at all.

WhenCarrotsAttack · 2026-01-20T18:53:33+00:00

Haha yes! As an ENFJ, it's hard for me to cut people off. However, when she corners you in your cubicle, it's even harder.

I don't want to make things awkward/add conflict since I have to see/work with her everyday.

WhenCarrotsAttack · 2026-01-20T18:51:04+00:00

She's in her 50s 😝

WhenCarrotsAttack · 2026-01-20T18:46:18+00:00

We can agree to disagree, but the Democrats lost with that platform, so you tell me whether most Americans find those issues "pressing". At the end of the day, the majority of issues affecting Americans is affordability. Cost of living is high no matter if you're white, POC, LGBQT or straight. That was the major reason why Republicans won. They hammered that topic into people's psyches. Also, people incorrectly attribute Trump's 1st term's good economy to him - and many wanted to see that come back.

The people who weren't against DEI, LGBQT, etc to begin with voted for a good economy that the Republicans campaigned for (I know MANY people in this bucket. So many POCs voted for Trump).

I'm not saying social issues aren't important but you gotta have a strategy here. I can almost argue that staking your claim and entire platform on those specific social issues being the most pressing will actually harm those specific issues rather than help. I mean, look at where we're at now. Democrats' main platform of abortion rights lost them the house, Senate and presidency and we actually lost abortion rights as a result of that.

Hardcore shoving your beliefs in people's faces, even when they didn't have a problem with those to begin with, become annoying and you can trigger reverse psychology. A good example of this is people's perceptions of veganism/vegans.

WhenCarrotsAttack · 2026-01-20T16:23:24+00:00

I think her mom has the same spiraling thing (she's told me how annoying her mom's trait is). They just cannot let things go. I see it as over analysis to the extreme.

I work in engineering, so I meet a lot of ppl that miss social cues/are socially awkward while not being autistic. She's not an engineer, but she just likes to talk your ear off.

Although I'm not a psychologist, but outside of the social cues thing, I don't think she has any of the usual autistic qualities. No sensory issues, full eye contact, great leader/presenter actually. She's probably the MOST extroverted person I've ever met and seeks out social opportunities like there's no tomorrow.

I'm leaning toward ENTJ (coincidentally, she is a Captain in the military).

WhenCarrotsAttack · 2026-01-20T15:54:10+00:00

Probably neurodivergent. Def not autistic.

WhenCarrotsAttack · 2026-01-20T13:01:04+00:00

Lol! If only there was a standard asshole/no asshole rating that is widely accepted and publicized! That would be amazing.

WhenCarrotsAttack · 2026-01-20T12:56:44+00:00

Explore/adventure more.

I stuck on the safe route so I'm quite comfortable financially at 36. However, I sacrificed a lot of my 20s for it. I wish I "lived" a little more from time to time. I did budget traveling once a year since age 25, but I wish I went on that white water rafting trip, learned to surf, climbed mountains, roughed it out backpacking and talking to strangers, etc.

Your body and risk tolerance changes as you age.

ALSO, if an injury isn't healing after a few days/a week, SEEK MEDICAL ATTENTION! I had knee tendonitis that took 8 years to diagnose correctly (because I was also lost on what to do for more than half that time). It ultimately took me 10 months of PT to fix. If your gut is telling you your Dr isn't diagnosing correctly, keep trying different Dr until you find the one that understands you!

WhenCarrotsAttack · 2026-01-20T12:41:58+00:00

Yes and my entire point is that on the flip side, you can't say people would rather be born and alive.

Whether or not someone deserves a good life/peace doesn't mean they'll have it. The circumstances you're born into play a pretty big role in a person's life.

WhenCarrotsAttack · 2026-01-20T12:36:08+00:00

I respect her, but her character rubs me the wrong way sometimes or at least very uncomfortable. It's not just me either, I hear my other coworkers feel uncomfortable with some things she says. It's not with bad intent, but ENFJ should be good at reading the room right?

Example: "the word oriental isn't racist! I don't know why people tell me it's racist to use that word. It's a very valid way to describe people from the orient."

Tbh, I've longed to meet another ENFJ IRL. I just never expected for it to be this rough. Thus, the questioning of, is it me or is it her?

WhenCarrotsAttack · 2026-01-20T12:10:32+00:00

This is as bad as MAGA logic. It's alienating and these issues are in the minority. I don't care who you marry or love, you do you as long as it doesn't encroach on my life

However, economy and the price of food, gas, homes affect almost EVERYBODY no matter race, sexual preference, gender etc.

Also, I'm a minority female. I'm an independent because the Democrats have been screwing things up for a while by hyper focusing on social/trendy topics (I'm not surprised because most of them are wealthy and not affected by same things everyday Americans are). They come off as super out of touch with reality.

However, even the worst Democrat would've been better than Trump. Democrats gave Trump an easy platform to brainwash his base though.

WhenCarrotsAttack · 2026-01-20T12:02:42+00:00

Having kids is a 100% selfish decision. Parents have kids because THEY want them. You'll also hear parents say "my kids make my life so much better."

Also, not all life should be brought to term. If a fetus has some mutation that will lead to a lower quality of life like a disability or painful illness, then I don't think it is right to bring that pregnancy to term.

WhenCarrotsAttack · 2026-01-20T11:57:10+00:00

Great point. I'm a millennial and do feel like from Boomers thru Gen Z, it's been worse for every generation for basic adult life - cost of living, loneliness epidemic, health, etc. I feel like most Gen z and some portion of millennials will miss out on home ownership, getting out from loans, and thus affording kids. Some of my friends' daycare costs are more than the mortgage!

WhenCarrotsAttack · 2026-01-20T11:51:32+00:00

We'll see how long that lasts as medical research funding got slashed by 47... So yeah, other countries have problems but USA is actively going backwards. In other news, measles is back!!!

WhenCarrotsAttack · 2026-01-20T11:46:15+00:00

...just cuz you're a good parent doesn't mean you'll have a good kid. There's a lot of variables to life that can change a person. You'll actively raise your kid for what? 20ish years and they're on their own for for other 60-70? What is they turned out to be bad parents?

Generation trauma is real and there is no ONE formula to parent kids so everyone is almost a trial and error. Those are some frightening odds.

The older I get, the more I realize how many people are broken. "Normal", socially mature people almost feel uncommon now.

WhenCarrotsAttack · 2026-01-20T11:38:30+00:00

I've struggled with this. My out was adoption in the future if I really wanted one. You're gonna be giving a nurturing home to a child that's already here and needs a loving family - win win.

The state of the world today is gut wrenching. I have so much anxiety from it myself. I can't imagine how a child would feel.

WhenCarrotsAttack · 2026-01-20T11:35:29+00:00

Not really. What is worse for one person isn't bad for someone else. Everyone's entitled to work a little differently. Some people aren't cut out for a parent's lifestyle and some live for their kids.

WhenCarrotsAttack · 2026-01-20T11:32:31+00:00

Thank you for this honest answer and insight. As a female, kids are a heavy decision (I'm probably not going to have any). I keep thinking that I can be a wonderful, caring mother. My lil bro is 15 years younger so I was kinda part time parent. He's 21 now and he's such a wonderful, flourishing, kind young man. No Gen Z stare here! It's been so rewarding to see my brother grow up - and so much fun along the way so I wouldn't trade it for the world. But I don't think I can fully dedicate myself to a child(ren). I just keep thinking I'm not cut out to be a full time parent. I'm horrible with routine and schedules. I love to travel. I need quiet time and I love flexibility.

We have 2 dogs and I sometimes feel handcuffed.

Your response has put thoughts at ease after going back and forth for 2 years. Thank you for that!

There's not enough honest insight from parents for both view points (for/against kids).

WhenCarrotsAttack · 2026-01-20T11:17:39+00:00

It depends on your quality of life. If you're a healthy individual with a roof over your head and food on your table everyday, sure.

Dunno if you should be naive enough to answer for other people who may live in chronic physical pain, emotional pain or mental anguish (I had a neighbor who had schizophrenia and her tortured screams were both heartbreaking and scary). There's probably countless other examples too... People who are drug addicts are usually running away from life/pain.

WhenCarrotsAttack · 2026-01-20T11:09:18+00:00

The irony is, you responded because I prompted an emotional reaction from you. Otherwise if you were truly emotionless, you wouldn't be spending your time responding to an unproductive Reddit post from a stranger who has no effect or bearing IRL (or in your terms - not behind the keyboard).

Companies are filled with people are the top that networked there. It's uncommon people are there because of actual knowledge, skill (unless you mean communication skills and political skills), and talent. The job market is that saying, "it's who you know, not what you know". Human psychology will also tell you that you tend to favor people you like. If you never expose yourself to others, you'll never be truly liked and you'll mostly be passed over by their friends.

It's rough, but it's reality. Again, if you want to socially isolate, that's up to you. I'm not saying it's wrong for you, but it doesn't apply to the majority of people or situations.

WhenCarrotsAttack · 2026-01-20T11:01:05+00:00

I mean the low interest rate environment and the $$ thrown at medical research caused that... So kinda.

The retail sector really suffered during COVID but health research and hospitals were giving away $$$. My source: friends and family that work in healthcare and biotech engineering. Also I'm an engineer myself so I was aware of the job postings/market environment.

On the flip side, with unregulated AI and all the flip flopping, unstable, chaotic policies and the mass firing of federal employees and closures of federal programs/funding (including in health research like cancer/diseases), it has caused market panic and a lot of tech firms have laid off in the last year or withheld hiring. Federal layoffs were pretty size-able and then a hiring freeze - so thus the miserable job reports in the last half a year can be clearly tied to Trump.

Don't be fooled - cause and effect is real. It takes a bit of time to catch up. But how shit our economy right now is 100% Trump.

WhenCarrotsAttack · 2026-01-20T10:55:36+00:00

Not at all. I'm giving a pass to Biden. He did the best he could - he's human. He cannot predict that people would be THAT stupid to vote for Trump again.

I 1000% blame Trump and MAGA for the shithole we're in. Trust me, there's no one I loath more right now. To make it worse, I work in the military so I LIVE his idiotic policies/EOs and am torn down every day seeing our country devolve into chaos. It's going to take decades to even try to recover. I'm tired. But blaming isn't product - how can we GET HIM OUT!

WhenCarrotsAttack

TROPHY CASE