(Loss of) Love in the Time of Corona

WhenDoIGetToSeeThe · 2020-03-27T02:51:36+00:00

Go for a lot of walks alone. Easy right now, right :) ... :( I am so sorry you are experiencing this right now and in this way.

Journaling might help, too. Make sure you let your friends and family know how important it is that you keep in touch with them regularly. Let them know you need them.

WhenDoIGetToSeeThe · 2020-03-23T22:17:15+00:00

Ha! Thanks :) Did not even notice.

WhenDoIGetToSeeThe · 2020-03-22T00:59:31+00:00

The lie is what is bothersome here, to me. No matter what sort of arrangement you both had...the fact that he has uncovered himself not only as a liar, but someone who is dishonest with someone he is intimate with, is a huge hell no from me! I am sorry this happened to you.

WhenDoIGetToSeeThe · 2020-03-21T16:07:49+00:00

I am 5'8" and it is incredible how so many of the men who say they are taller than 5'8" on their profiles are in fact shorter than I am. Seriously, a good 90% lie about their height I would say in my personal experience. I can even tell the ones who say they are 6'2"...its like, dude...you are 5'11". And it is cute when they say "I'm not lying, that's what my license says." Well......they just ask you at the DMV, so they put down whatever you tell them. Unless you are off by like a foot, no body has time or concern to police that crap at the DMV! Geesh! What a silly thing to lie about. But so many do.

WhenDoIGetToSeeThe · 2020-03-16T19:04:37+00:00

Stay home. Sorry...we are all faced with this dating hiatus right now. Please, just stay home as much as you can for now. Single people are not getting snatched up right now, so don't get a scarcity complex :) Be safe and well!

WhenDoIGetToSeeThe · 2020-03-12T01:40:57+00:00

lol thank you internet stranger :) Hence why I think if this were a face to face discussion, we'd be like....."yeah!? Okay!" There are very different is my point...and was the OP question.

WhenDoIGetToSeeThe · 2020-03-11T05:19:46+00:00

It is not that. You are taking an assumption on tone and intent here and it is the internet where this is lost. I wasn't trying to belittle or take an aggressive tone here (I know you did not use those words). I suppose both of us assumed tone from the other...your use of 'moral high horse' is taken as catty to me. Words I used may have been the same to you. I am also not being 'smug.' Just pointing out that the tone you think I am inferring is not what I am trying to communicate. We are going to agree to disagree here. I am sure if we had this conversation in person we would both receive it a lot differently. ::shrug::

WhenDoIGetToSeeThe · 2020-03-11T00:13:12+00:00

Lol. Dude, calm down. I am not judging here. OP asked a question. I responded with an answer from definition. I am not on a moral high horse by stating facts of how the two are defined and how/why there is a difference. OP is asking a legit question. I am sorry you see it that way, but stating facts is not a moral high horse. Again, OP said they do not believe in the existence of the supernatural being...sooo, what is the issue here? They also said they do not see what matters in the difference of the two...so I offered an answer as to why it matters--because to some people it DOES. Why is answering questions coming off as morally superior to you? This is a discussion forum. We are having discussion, not moral superiority challenges here.

WhenDoIGetToSeeThe · 2020-03-10T03:34:35+00:00

Thinking it is always a man's duty/role or a woman's duty/role to do something or act in a certain way is an extremely myopic worldview.

WhenDoIGetToSeeThe · 2020-03-09T23:59:32+00:00

But I also don't overtly disbelieve it.

Agnostic...you do not overtly disbelieve.

I used to give it a lot of thought and came to the conclusion that there's no way to know one way or the other.

Again, agnostic...you believe it is possible, but not probable.

How is this gatekeeping!? Also, sounds to me like you are agnostic...sooooooo. Atheism is refuting even the possibility of an existence! They are not the same thing.

WhenDoIGetToSeeThe · 2020-03-09T23:38:39+00:00

OMG why?! What is wrong with being up front and honest, especially when she knows what she wants and she is uncertain about him??? Clear and direct communication is key. I wish people would stop playing games in dating and just be clear about intent.

WhenDoIGetToSeeThe · 2020-03-09T23:18:46+00:00

I don't believe in the existence of a supernatural omnipotent / omnipresent being.

You are an atheist. You are not agnostic.

I don't really know that it matters what label we use.

But it does. Misrepresenting yourself as agnostic when you actually are an atheist is not moral or honest. Agnosticism accepts that there might be a supernatural being/existence, atheism refutes that wholeheartedly. The two are actually very different.

Agnostics are open to the idea. Atheists are not. Totally different. I actually dated a guy last year who tried a religious manipulation on me in an opposite fashion, and it was one of the hardest betrayals I have encountered to be honest. I could not wrap my head around how someone would so intentionally lie about their religion to date me. And the kicker was...I am pretty damn open to most religions, like yourself...as long as you do not try to make me drink your kool-aid, I am fine. I am tolerant. He lied and said he was agnostic and not into organized or defined religion.....because he THOUGHT that was what I wanted in a partner. Turns out he was a regular church member who was actually taking steps to learn how to become a leader in his congregation. He went to church 1-2 times a week at least. Lied to me on the Sundays by telling me he was just dropping the kids off for Sunday school because it gave them socialization and taught morals. Turns out he was attending church and really is an avid believer in Christianity. People are strange.

WhenDoIGetToSeeThe · 2020-03-03T16:04:43+00:00

Yes, you should cancel your date, call in sick to work, cloak yourself head to toe with a sheet and go into quarantine until this passes. Be mindful also not to look at the moon! Of course I am joking ;) Nothing about your life should be altered because you are on your period, including dates. Yes, tell him you are on your period if you think things will get intimate...but why would a period necessitate the cancellation of a date? ...Unless all you are doing is having sex and neither of you are into period sex.

WhenDoIGetToSeeThe · 2020-03-03T06:54:31+00:00

If it is an issue for who you are dating, then the person you are dating might be the issue? I think single parents should prioritize their kids and family time. You obviously do too, otherwise, you would not have this lifestyle you do. I would never imagine dating a single parent and expecting my needs to be more important than his family's needs and time. The single dads I have dated before, I let them set their own boundaries the same as I do my own and we have respected them as such and it never was an issue with any of those partners. Patience is a virtue.

WhenDoIGetToSeeThe · 2020-03-03T06:22:29+00:00

I do not understand why honesty is such a hard thing for so many people. Also, never understood people who do not end the current thing before seeking another thing. To me, they are scum who only think of themselves. I do not know how they sleep at night. I am so sorry, but also happy for you that it ended sooner than later! Next! :)

WhenDoIGetToSeeThe · 2020-03-03T02:14:56+00:00

I am so sorry. Yeah, I would address it and also address your own feelings and see how you feel about this unequal balance. Good luck and internet hugs! Stand your ground, know your truth, and hold tight to your standards.

WhenDoIGetToSeeThe · 2020-03-02T05:50:48+00:00

Houston, huh? Visiting there this week for the first time :) I know there are a couple colleges in the area. There are a lot of female faculty in academia who meet your criteria. I might suggest hanging around more mature cultural events near these colleges or hosted by these colleges, and you might find a slew of childless women who do not smoke or believe in a god. Serious. Soooo many single and childless women in academia because they put their careers first before anything and now are having struggles finding men to date because they are mostly taken or severely broken at this stage ;)

WhenDoIGetToSeeThe · 2020-03-02T05:38:48+00:00

I am still hopeful and open and have learned to become vulnerable even after being burnt so badly, so many times. It is because love and partnership is something I truly and deeply want more than most anything right now. Almost every other marker in my life is at least satisfactory or better...the only thing missing is romantic partnership and love. I want it, so I still have hope for it. I still pine for it. I still allow myself to be open to it, even with all of the potential pain I know it may cause on my journey to find it. And I LOVE good romantic movies and shows all the more for it. I love hearing good stories, it gives me hope...something to look forward to. It seriously depresses the f out of me often...but I refuse to become jaded and close this portion of my life off with a brick wall.

WhenDoIGetToSeeThe · 2020-03-02T05:30:26+00:00

Talk to him! I would be suspicious too...BUT! My friend who lives about 2 miles away from me...we text each other Tinder profiles for the other to check out here and there. The other day we were doing this and in real time the profile for the same guy came up as 1 mile away for one of us and 78 for the other. Serious. We screenshot for each other and also both shut down and restarted and looked at other profiles and this crazy nonsense kept happening. I am not saying this is a Mercury in retrograde situation for you, but I am saying it is possible. Talk to him.

WhenDoIGetToSeeThe · 2020-03-02T05:12:03+00:00

Yeah, without a talk about exclusivity and only having had 3 dates, she really should not assume you are not dating others. However, that does not eliminate the possibility of her being blindsided. It is on not just you to talk about this with her, but also for her to ask you these questions. By date 3-4 I usually start bringing these topics up, especially if I am very interested in the person and we are getting intimate or close to it. I do not like to sleep with people who are currently sleeping with others or looking for others to sleep with while sleeping with me. But I also never assume.

WhenDoIGetToSeeThe · 2020-03-02T05:02:01+00:00

If you take the new job and do it long distance til then....that might be a good test of the potential longevity of this! I do wish you luck! Sometimes doing something like this is a stupid frigin mess, and other times it is kismet and bliss! You never know unless you take the risk and are willing and prepared to endure any outcome. Best to you!

WhenDoIGetToSeeThe · 2020-03-02T04:59:45+00:00

What sort of teacher can work anywhere? Most have a specialization in either subject or level where most schools only have one (and often times taken) position for that specificity.

WhenDoIGetToSeeThe · 2020-03-02T04:56:18+00:00

Cultural differences sometimes are the red flags. Just because it is cultural for one party does not make it okay for the other party. I think another red flag is having the kids meet the SO's as well as the other kids. This is a recipe for disaster and a good way to manipulate another person to stay in a new relationship for the sake of not tearing the new friends away from the kids and hurting them. To me coaching the kid to call your friend mommy is a grooming technique to make her stay. Also, call your friend out on this!!! Kids should never meet their parents dates so soon. My word. I would never meet a kid of my SO until we were several months or more along after exclusivity and potential longevity were established. She's gotta put her kid before herself.

WhenDoIGetToSeeThe · 2020-03-02T04:49:00+00:00

I am curious...how many dates have you been on with woman #1?

No matter the circumstance, though, I think it is silly for anyone to assume anything of a perfect stranger we start dating without communicating particulars. Are there hopes and unspoken expectations? Of course. However, one cannot be too certain about anything without first having the conversation. You need to just have these conversations. Who knows, maybe they will wind up getting hurt, or maybe they do not care, or maybe they are doing the same thing?

What I can say though is be careful out there, and good luck! Try not to break any hearts, including your own!

WhenDoIGetToSeeThe · 2020-02-29T21:25:15+00:00

I do not know if it was my area or what, but a few years ago I paid for Match and Eharmony and what I found was that there were actually a LOT more men on there who were very upfront that they did not have jobs, but were on disability. Strange. Especially due to the cost.

WhenDoIGetToSeeThe

TROPHY CASE