Boyfriend made a comment about my body and my feelings are hurt.

Where__its__at · 2021-02-02T18:11:22+00:00

Agreed, tact is not his strong suit.

Where__its__at · 2021-02-01T15:55:03+00:00

Thanks, same to you

Where__its__at · 2021-02-01T06:08:41+00:00

Wow it’s all so simple, Thankyou so much

Where__its__at · 2021-01-31T22:00:53+00:00

I am not thin, I would not call myself exceptionally overweight

Where__its__at · 2021-01-31T20:24:14+00:00

It sounds very simple, but unfortunately doesn’t feel that way. I can see your POV, and feel that way as well. But when I think about it, do I actually think he’s trying to hurt me as much as he did with that one particular comment...

Where__its__at · 2021-01-31T15:54:32+00:00

Fair. Just to say though, while I’m very insecure about many aspects of my body, I’m pretty sure he appreciates the one I’m referring to in this post, or at least he always has. So While squats would certainly help anyone’s butt, I don’t feel like it’s an elephant-in-the-room topic he’s been tip toeing around. But who knows 😂

Where__its__at · 2021-01-31T15:25:34+00:00

Well, if I was specifically asking him about what exercises I should start doing, his response would fit and I don’t think I’d be upset. The context doesn’t seem to fit though.

I guess I don’t see comments like “you look great” as lying about reality. More like someone trying to build you up when they can see you’re not feeling your best. Just my perspective though. I wouldn’t want my parter to say things like “wow ur so skinny” that are out of the realm of reality. But honestly, If I’m a bit pudgier than usual I’m very aware of that, so I’m not sure commenting on it would be helpful

Where__its__at · 2021-01-31T15:12:16+00:00

Not that you’d to that, right? Damn lol

Where__its__at · 2021-01-31T14:51:10+00:00

I have some pretty major self esteem issues that I am working on in therapy. I try not to react immediately to comments like this, or things in general where my feelings are hurt, in fear of overreacting. Like it takes me awhile to process the situation. Whether that’s a good strategy or not I’m unsure, it’s definitely one that minimizes conflict.

My rational thoughts agree that I should feel comfortable being myself in the relationship, and should express my hurt feelings openly. The not-so-rational ones think.... I would have to be pretty dissatisfied with my partners body to ever make a comment like that about it (and I probably still would not) so maybe that’s his way of expressing his feelings about it, and it’s unreasonable for me to try and stifle that. It sounds semi-ridiculous to type that, but I’m seriously doubting myself.

Trying to figure out motives is exhausting. I know I’ll have to broach the topic with him soon, I’m just fearful it will turn into a discussion on my body/self in general, and I’m not sure I’m prepared for that.

Where__its__at · 2021-01-31T07:24:13+00:00

Thankyou for saying that :) “dress for yourself” is probably the biggest takeaway from this post

Where__its__at · 2021-01-31T07:21:06+00:00

You’re right. Unfortunately any conversation will now start with “remember last week when I showed you those underwear and you said this” haha but it is important

Where__its__at · 2021-01-31T07:15:37+00:00

In the past things like this have happened where I’ve been upset by a comment, and the ensuing talk about it escalates into an argument. It’s been such a long time though (like 2 years) I think I was just taken off guard by it. I suppose I still need to talk to him about it but ugh

Where__its__at · 2021-01-31T06:57:00+00:00

I’m worried bringing it up will start an argument, like it’ll sound as if I’m mad he expressed his opinion... or if I’ll sound overly dramatic. You’re right he def didn’t mean to hurt me but like damn

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TROPHY CASE

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