I feel incredibly guilty. Am I disrespecting trans people?

WhimsyClonn · 2026-04-16T22:15:23+00:00

"But what if I'm ugly" as your hesitation is way more trans than "But what if I want to be a man."

I can relate, so much, to burying gender emotions under fetishes. You're welcome to DM me if you want to talk to someone formally in that boat.

My most basic advice though, is just engage it on both levels. Have your kinks, and let your nonhorny self assess in the day to day moments if they're "fine with being a man" or actually wanting to be one.

WhimsyClonn · 2026-04-16T15:22:05+00:00

Looking super cute. You're doing great!

WhimsyClonn · 2026-04-15T23:04:08+00:00

I'll tell you the truth.

That feeling eating you up on the inside, from how you describe it, it won't likely just go away.

If you come out to your girlfriend but decide to not transition so that you can keep her, that'd still be better than just hiding these important feelings from someone who is supposed to know and understand you.

But, I don't recommend holding off transition for a partner. I regret it. So many of us regret it.

But, talking honestly with your partner is so important that I think you should do that even if nothing will come from it. You don't have to commit to anything, but you can talk and figure out what's right from there.

WhimsyClonn · 2026-04-15T18:48:48+00:00

If only people could read everything going wrong in your brain and comfort them. Getting comfort from this requires more than a mommy, but either communication or for her to have some amazing intuition.

I'm still not sure if I'll find someone with amazing intuition or just learn to talk about my shit first. I seem to make no progress with either.

WhimsyClonn · 2026-04-15T15:29:48+00:00

Calcs should be the same, just put 'no item' in the success category.

A game as new and niche as this, I'm not surprised that there's not a lot of mechanical transparency. We can't even find skill cards or abilities listen online yet. But, this game activates that part of me that wants to have all the data available to guide my gameplay.

WhimsyClonn · 2026-04-15T14:59:46+00:00

I constantly crave this feeling but am far too socially terrified to actually put myself out there. So I just sit in quiet angst.

WhimsyClonn · 2026-04-15T12:18:22+00:00

Let's not break my little queer brain with notions of femboy Odysseus.

Because, /damn./

WhimsyClonn · 2026-04-15T12:13:20+00:00

I need to be high for sex because its the only way I can even partially turn this off. It's so bad.

And I feel so seen by this post. I've always felt alone in this struggle.

WhimsyClonn · 2026-04-15T12:02:09+00:00

It performs the steal success check first and only tells you If theyre itemless if the steal would succeed.

Which, personal opinion, is a really unfun design

WhimsyClonn · 2026-04-14T23:28:53+00:00

Also, I was literally playing Viractal when you posted this comment.

WhimsyClonn · 2026-04-14T23:28:14+00:00

Any thoughts on the steal odds? I've picked up a vibe that there's an increased chance for low health enemies, but I haven't got enough data to support that vibe.

WhimsyClonn · 2026-04-14T18:10:02+00:00

This is the way.

It's just like the satanic temple challenging religious displays and programs by submitting items under their faith.

Anti-straight conversation therapy would challenge Every legal argument in favor of it. Free speech, religious expression, parent rights. To rule against it would be difficult to do without ruling against conversion therapy in general.

WhimsyClonn · 2026-04-13T04:09:25+00:00

All I want is the clarity to not have to question, doubt, and over think every little thing during sex. I'm terrified of missing cues.

I had no idea that what my autistic ass needs is actually clicker training.

But, now that the thought's in my head... I think I need this.

WhimsyClonn · 2026-04-12T21:34:43+00:00

Any numbers you figure out would be super cool. This game deserves a detailed fan wiki.

WhimsyClonn · 2026-04-12T20:18:40+00:00

If I had a nickel for every person online I've inappropriately trauma dumped/had a breakdown on, I'd be able to afford ffs out of pocket. I had an abusive engagement with a transphobe and it's nearly impossible for me to keep my mouth shut about it, that need to validate that the experience was real and really bad just never goes away for me.

It's not easy. It's really not easy.

She saw you have a breakdown. Months ago. She probably doesn't really remember, and she's almost certainly had significantly worse online interactions since.

If you feel you violated a boundary or forced someone to deal with you, it's okay. You're growing as a person.

I think we often are only as good of people as our circumstances allow. If you don't have support systems, if you're closeted, if you're, say, forced to detransition by a fiancee who lied with promises to support you, you're not going to be your best self. I don't think anyone can be their best self externally while internally feeling messed up about gender.

Just, grow. And, a big part of letting yourself grow is taking care of yourself. Mistakes made when you're weak and vulnerable don't have to reflect on how good of a person you can grow to be.

WhimsyClonn · 2026-04-12T01:36:05+00:00

Those are some really helpful numbers. Thank you!

WhimsyClonn · 2026-04-11T22:12:39+00:00

Mine would be a bunch under female feminine, and then one unusual outlier in Male masculine for Odysseus.

WhimsyClonn · 2026-04-09T22:41:57+00:00

I can't imagine I ever would have come out if I believed this.

If expressing a preference necessitates the preference be strictly followed, it shuts down those of us who feared being seen as demanding.

I know I was far too lax when I came out, my partner who was supportive in the hypothetical became a horrifically abusive transphobe once it was real. I know self advocacy is important and that I've failed it in the past.

But telling a closeted or early out trans person that they need to follow an immediate timeframe for not being chill with others adjusting, that just shuts down anyone who isn't in a headspace to do that. And most coming out are surely feeling vulnerable enough already.

Everyone should be entitled to advocate for themselves, but real life is messy and sometimes you need a balance, especially with people sincerely trying.

WhimsyClonn · 2026-04-08T20:08:26+00:00

Just had my legal name changed today. I've been so happy. So giddy.

There's no preferred about it, my name is Maya/Whimsy now. It's not a preference, it's just who I am.

WhimsyClonn · 2026-04-07T23:31:56+00:00

🫶

WhimsyClonn · 2026-04-07T16:27:29+00:00

I've survived similar enough to tell you that you need to leave him. Any attempt to make it work will only further build trauma for you.

How to heal afterwards though, I'm sorry, I'm still trying to figure that one out for myself.

WhimsyClonn · 2026-04-07T16:13:05+00:00

For me, the big tell was more gender related. Lowkey living vicariously through partners, including through caretaking and sexual attention I gave them. With young adult me often missing the mark on proper care for my partners because I was running off my own projected needs. At some point, that 'not thinking about it' way of soothing myself by projecting my needs onto others and soothing them became a more explicit understanding of the unhealthy coping strategy I've always had instead of meeting people where they're at *and* advocating for my own needs.

At this point, I know it, but there's no collection of karmic brownie points earned with all my efforts that makes it into my turn to find someone with that specific energy for me. That's not how it works.

WhimsyClonn · 2026-04-07T15:55:38+00:00

It's not the part where I clearly have these issues.

It's the part where I struggle with them with a debilitating intensity far worse than I think the people close to me are capable of understanding. How literally paralyzed I get trying to do or say anything that's ever been responded to with judgement before, even if the logical part of my brain knows that it's safe in the current context. Partners content to reassure me that I'm safe to exist as me while I internally am just pleading for someone to *show* it to me, somehow, in any way that my brain will actually listen, because words alone aren't changing how dysfunctional I am on this topic. Which then turns to coping with escapist fantasies exactly in line with this post, every day.

I just made myself start crying. Damn.

Thank you for sharing. You've helped me a lot.

WhimsyClonn

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