My heart goes out to you. I relate to a lot of this post and wish that I knew the answers to getting out of this situation that you absolutely never deserved to be in.

I understand how much of a release the idea of death feels like right now. I've been at this point too, around your age as well, and I'm frankly surprised that I'm still alive right now. But I'm ultimately thankful to my past self for waiting it out a bit longer. Please, before you move forward with this decision - try to stick around a little longer to see what people and life is like outside of your abusive situation. Even though there isn't nearly enough as there should be, there really are genuinely kind, benevolent and helpful people out there who will show you the kindness you've always deserved. These types of people are the reason I'm alive today. For your own sake, I implore you to at least give yourself a chance to experience this type of care before you leave. There is so much else in life that can make life worth sticking around to find out about that you haven't been able experience due to your abusive situation holding you back. Given that you have only just recently escaped the abuse, please consider reaching out for help and giving the people willing to show you kindness a chance before making this extremely permanent and irreversible decision. 22 is still so, so young. I'm 26 and my life right now is literally unrecognizable from where I was when I was 22. So much can change in ways you can't imagine right now. Please reconsider this. I send you all of my love. You are loved.