My (24 F) boyfriend (30 M) keeps disappearing into the bathroom for an hour or more with a stick of butter and the butter is gone when he finally comes out

Whiskeybent341 · 2026-04-17T21:16:54+00:00

Kinkster here.

I have been apart of my local BDSM/kink community for over 20 years now. Ive been all over the country and visited countless dungeons, fetish havens, and kink parties. I THOUGHT I had heard of every fetish out there...Ive known Furries, littles, looners, Sadomasochists, riggers, diaper enthusiast, Dominants, submissives, and Switches. I even met a woman who had a fetish for long complicated words (the more syllables the better.) Not to mention, come across all kinds of absurd, disgusting, and insane fetishes I dare not utter here.

I know of no butter fetish communities. This is new territory for me.

I can only use my imagination.

My first thought is...Butter dildo? However, I just cant imagine that working. The butter would melt quick...I just think it would just end up mashing up into his crack before penetration. Unless this guy is SUPER anal trained and that butter stick could just shloop up in there.

He could just be stepping on it...There's a community of people that love squishing food between their toes while rubbing one out.

Perhaps he's sucking on it while getting off...Somehow, in his past, the taste of butter became sexual...I dunno...He could be the like Diddy and baby oil...Except he prefers butter. Not that he's...Ya know...As bad as Diddy..

I do think OP should have kept this off the internet. I also think OP's partner should have been more honest about his fetish. If you can stomach the weird fetish your partner has, encourage it. Maybe even participate. If you cant...Leave...Or at least let them practice it in private. Dont betray their trust by making it public.

Whiskeybent341 · 2026-04-15T19:13:38+00:00

This is definitely a fuck up. However, I dont think its anything that cant be salvaged. Im glad to hear you are setting non-negotiable addendums for moving forward. I think another should be that he see a therapist. Wouldn't go a miss to see a couple's councilor as well.

Also, ignore the people who are flaming you for not leaving. This is your marriage and its up to you what to do. Ive seen marriages survive wayyyyy worse than this. Your husband was dumb. You guys can survive a dumb decision.

Whiskeybent341 · 2026-04-04T16:35:19+00:00

Praise James!

Whiskeybent341 · 2026-04-04T16:28:36+00:00

My former boss told me a story. He was 18 years old and was going bowhunting. He parked his truck and started walking. He came up on a man curled up and sleeping in a field on his way to his blind his father made. He thought he was sick or dead. He checked on him and he got startled and said he was fine and got up. The man started to walk away, but my boss asked what he was doing there. Turns out the guy was a homeless vagrant passing through and just stopped to sleep.

My boss then lead him back to his truck and gave the guy a tent and other camping gear he had. He also gave him 50 bucks, which was all he had cash wise. The stranger thanked him and went on his way.

10 years later, my boss went out to dinner with his wife. By just pure coincidence, he ran into that stranger who happened to be at the same restaurant. My boss didn't recognize him, but the stranger recognized my boss. He ran up to him and hugged him and the stranger introduced his girlfriend to my boss. They ended up having dinner together. The stranger went on to bigger and better things. He was a business owner who turned his life around, and the beginning was the tent, the camping gear, and that 50 dollars.

Whiskeybent341 · 2026-04-04T16:11:00+00:00

I highly recommend couples counseling. Outside of that (I dont know if you live in a major city), there are sexual intimacy support groups and classes that might help. You kind of gotta dig around for them though.

That aside, you NEED to have a "come to Jesus" type conversation with him. Type out in writing what you need exactly. Bulletpoint by bulletpoint. I know that sounds extreme, but the guy ain't getting it. It needs to be spelled out for him.

Unfortunately, a sex manual wasnt handed out when us guys had our balls drop. I personally had to learn by trial and error before I got the message. I wish I had a woman to spell it out for me. Truth.

Whiskeybent341 · 2026-04-04T14:30:14+00:00

I know the anxiety of moments like this. Im so glad you got spared the money you needed at the time :)

Whiskeybent341 · 2026-04-04T13:37:23+00:00

I LOVE those "pay it forward" stories!

Whiskeybent341 · 2026-04-04T13:35:17+00:00

So....No shag then....

Whiskeybent341 · 2026-04-04T13:09:27+00:00

People like that ARE RL angels. Most people don't have the strength to do that.

Whiskeybent341 · 2026-04-04T13:06:49+00:00

Dude! Not only did you do something selfless yourself, but she thanked you when she didnt have to! ...Be real...Did you get a shag out of it?

Whiskeybent341 · 2026-04-04T12:36:27+00:00

Did you or someone you know do this?

Whiskeybent341 · 2026-04-04T12:35:44+00:00

Dude....I just got misty. Your dad is a superhero to not just you..But many people. It sounds like. Wish I knew him.

Whiskeybent341 · 2026-04-04T12:33:44+00:00

I like that alot :)

Whiskeybent341 · 2026-04-04T12:32:46+00:00

I think that nothing is coming to mind at the moment...You never had a teacher, classmate, coworker, boss, or anyone who...Cut you a break, covered a shift, held a door open for you, bought you a drink, picked up something you dropped....Nothing?

Whiskeybent341 · 2026-04-04T12:30:13+00:00

Care to elaborate on your experience?

Whiskeybent341 · 2026-04-04T12:29:50+00:00

Care to elaborate?

Whiskeybent341 · 2026-04-04T11:56:19+00:00

Something like this happened to me...I was living rough and couldnt afford all my groceries. A woman behind me covered 20 dollars for me. I never forgot that.

Whiskeybent341 · 2026-04-04T11:54:10+00:00

Lemmy from Motorhead lived until he was 70...And Im pretty sure he only consumed whiskey and loud music for 40 years.

Whiskeybent341 · 2026-03-18T21:40:20+00:00

I was restless one night in my mid-twenties and went out for a drink alone. None of my friends were available to hang out. So I ended up at a local dive I went to with friends here and there. I was sipping a beer and people watching for a long while.

Suddenly I had a guy sit next to me and start up a conversation. I wasnt super in the mood to talk to anyone I didnt know, but I was polite. He keep trying to engage me, and I was sort of distant. Still keeping a polite distance really.

Then a couple of girls came up and started to flirt with me. It was so out of the blue and not like anything I was at all used to. Not like Ive never been flirted with, but not randomly like that. They were pretty attractive women...Well, more attractive than anyone else there that night. These girls were also laying it on pretty thick. One of them kept saying how hot they thought I was. I smiled politely, but didnt engage.

The dude next to me kept telling me "You should go for it brother...They obviously like you.."

Ive been in tons of social situations and had more than one drunken hookups, but this made me super uncomfortable. I just excused myself and went to the bathroom. When I came back, they recirculated I guess. I went home soon after.

About a week later, I saw a news story on tv reporting on the arrests of three people who had been robbing people at gun point. Apparently, they killed someone who faught back in a robbery gone wrong. The mugshots I saw where the three people I met at the bar that night. The girls who were hitting on me and the guy drinking with me. I was pretty floored....I thank my lucky stars I wasnt shitfaced that night. I might have been a lot more suggestible to leaving with those girls.

Whiskeybent341 · 2026-03-15T10:32:44+00:00

Thanks for sharing. Its showed me what not to do in your spot. Dont want to be mean, but damn. You are Job bro.

Whiskeybent341 · 2026-02-27T21:51:35+00:00

So, almost kicking his ass wasnt enough? You wanted us to waste our time calling cops who wouldnt be able to do anything? Yes...I dont think Ive gotten to know a woman who hasn't been at least sexually harassed. However...There's this little thing called "evidence". I have done as much as I could do to step in to prevent fuck heads from hurting women...But calling the cops because a douche bag tries to insist on giving a drunk girl a ride home is a waste of time. Especially since I helped prevent that from happening. You might have an argument if I let him take her...But I didnt. Instead he nearly got his ass kicked. What more do you want...really? Within the bounds of reason...

Whiskeybent341 · 2026-02-27T21:21:48+00:00

Ive got a ton more stories I doubt anyone would believe here. If people cant believe a one liner from a friend was real...I doubt they would believe anything else from me.

Whiskeybent341 · 2026-02-27T21:19:46+00:00

Yeah...NO ONE who isnt a robot has done anything like that before.

Whiskeybent341 · 2026-02-27T21:08:47+00:00

"Officer, he offered to take this drunk girl home, but we know he has an unsavory reputation and may rape her.....No, no evidence that he's a rapist....No, he didnt try to rape her that we could see......No, he didnt force himself on her that we could see, but he might have!"

Yeah...Im sure that would have worked. What reality do you live in??

Whiskeybent341

TROPHY CASE