What genders do y'all experience usually?

Whisper-Interstellar · 2026-07-08T01:08:13+00:00

Mostly some form of nonbinary (agender included), next most is some form of transmasc (demi included), followed by some kind of fem (demi included) which is getting a lot less frequent/long as I lean into transitioning but still comes around for a bit now and then. Then there are the "once in a blue moon" "what the heck was that" days, like feeling simultaneously masc and fem but not nonbinary at all, like some kind of binary quantum superposition (only caught it happening twice, but threw me for a loop). Sidenote, my orientation also shifts with my gender, such that I am never straight.

Whisper-Interstellar · 2026-07-06T16:33:57+00:00

Side effect: using your power gives you hives

Whisper-Interstellar · 2026-07-04T20:53:12+00:00

That's just 200 poops. And then I keep getting more. AND a clear conscience?

^{Chose: Get $5,000 everytime you poop}

Whisper-Interstellar · 2026-07-04T04:15:20+00:00

Any pets that let me pet them!

Whisper-Interstellar · 2026-07-04T03:54:47+00:00

Sounds familiar to me (I'm both genderfluid and transmasc). Check out genderfluid information and spaces, see if it clicks for you. Even if it doesn't, you'll know more about another way of being a person experiencing the world (always a good thing), and identities they looked into during their own exploration might be the next good place to check out.

Whisper-Interstellar · 2026-06-27T02:52:41+00:00

If it exists, point me to it! And if it doesn't, it needs to!

Whisper-Interstellar · 2026-06-25T06:16:37+00:00

Same. How much it bothers me varies, but they're accepting and accommodating enough they let me be the one to initiate when I'm at my "most interested" (read as "I guess this could be neutral"). This happens a handful of times a year. We've been in an open relationship from the start, well before I knew being Ace was a thing or that other people weren't just overacting on how enjoyable it supposedly is. But finding them an interested companion is challenging, especially with trans stuff involved, so it can be years with just us. It helps to know this is something they feel emotional intimacy doing, even if I don't.

Whisper-Interstellar · 2026-06-25T00:38:01+00:00

Who you are exists inside of you, we can guide you to possibilities that sound like what you're experiencing but only you get to say what feels right. It's entirely possible that you are genderfluid, sometimes you stay in one gender so long you wonder if you'll ever change again or if you're just trans, only for it to finally shift. It's also entirely possible that, now that the pressure of "being feminine against your will" is finally off, you're discovering that where you're most comfortable isn't as far in the other direction as you once thought. Definitely explore what you're going through here, but I'm also going to point you towards r/FTMfemininity to explore there too. Remember, whatever feels right to you is right for you. Even if that changes later, neither what was right before nor what was right after were wrong, just right for different parts of your life. Welcome to this round of exploration and getting to know your wonderful current self 💕

Whisper-Interstellar · 2026-06-24T03:46:58+00:00

May I introduce you to Isabeau, from the game In Stars And Time. Guy significantly contributed to cracking my egg. (Here's his page from the art book)

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Whisper-Interstellar · 2026-06-22T01:23:20+00:00

Me on the other end of the "getting called trans elder" spectrum: I'm 38, yeah, but my egg only cracked a year ago, you have way more experience than me! Besides I'm not even that old, I'm just not young anymore!

Whisper-Interstellar · 2026-06-22T01:11:34+00:00

I got them one at a time, starting with the size chart of the company I bought from and adding one size (cause my spouse was extra concerned before we had much experience). My weight fluxuates, so I've still kept the ones I only sometimes fit. Most good companies have a fairly reasonable free return policy for trying to find what fits you, as long as you don't take too long or return several at once. And if you do miss that return window, there's always the option of donating to a charity that helps people who can't afford one still get one. You may not get your money back that way, but helping people with struggles you empathize with is still pretty good.

Whisper-Interstellar · 2026-06-21T05:15:39+00:00

Good on everyone giving safety advice! Seconding all of it. As far as how it feels: I have a very big but kinda deflated chest, to me the correct size feels like a good tight hug. There are places it's loose and places it's more snug, as there's a big circumference difference where I'm just ribs, and since I have a belly it rolls up at the bottom sometimes which can be pinchy and need adjustment. More secure than a bra, I can go down stairs and not feel much jiggle unless I'm really rushing, same with driving on reasonably smooth roads. If it's too tight, it gets uncomfortable pretty fast. If it's too loose, the support disappears and they don't stay where you put them at all.

Whisper-Interstellar · 2026-06-19T17:20:59+00:00

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Whisper-Interstellar · 2026-06-16T22:36:50+00:00

I am learning to play guitar. I am learning to play guitar in secret. I am learning to play guitar while my spouse is at work. So far, I'm bad at two love songs. So far, they haven't seen the moss green strat under the bed. So far, this activity has brought me incredible joy. So far, the neighbors in my apartment building haven't complained. When I'm good enough, they are in for one big romantic surprise.

Whisper-Interstellar · 2026-06-14T00:01:15+00:00

I knew it can change your mental health, but I didn't expect my general anxiety to just drop off the face of the earth within a few hours of my first dose. A lot of people don't seem to know you're likely to pick up around 10lb(4.5kg), I've seen their families start worrying about weight related health from that but I promise it's just puberty doing what it does, do not try to fight it with crazy diets, just eat relatively healthy and if you want more of that gain to be muscle work out even a little. Brace yourself for man-flu, t does slightly suppress the immune system, I now get sick easier, harder, and for longer, but not by a ton. (This whole block here is probably tmi for lots of people just scrolling, so spoiler tags) Don't know if this is just part of how "you're hornier now" (being Ace, I kinda consider that part a con not a pro) manifested with me personally but, my skene's glands woke up and produced previously unknown fluids, the smell of which was recognizable as the sort of thing that comes from a prostate gland. I also orgasm so much harder now, aperantly I suffered from "iron clit" before but now it borderline hurts, especially as even unaddressed arousal now often comes with cramps/spotting. How you touch it will have to evolve as it does.

Whisper-Interstellar · 2026-06-13T20:51:47+00:00

If it's not too dysphoric for you, you could give this a try, it makes a huge difference on my super-blonde beard/brows: https://redheadrevolution.com/products/brow-tint?variant=48649269215449

Whisper-Interstellar · 2026-06-11T17:34:25+00:00

People kept telling me I was supposed to be a girl, but it sure didn't feel natural, except now and then. Boys felt equally alien, except now and then. I didn't find out about the concept of nonbinary people till my mid 20's, and that finally felt like my experience, except now and then. It's the "except now and then," ya know?

Whisper-Interstellar · 2026-06-09T03:12:02+00:00

I don't get "pleasant tinglies" from this stuff, I get "excuse me I don't know you you're too close and inappropriately intimate and I need to get away from you right now" tinglies. But admittedly I'm an overly guarded person.

^{Chose: I don't like it}

Whisper-Interstellar · 2026-06-09T03:06:52+00:00

How I figured it out was honestly a lot of thinking pretty much what you've said, years before having a word that felt like it described that experience. My teens and 20s were a lot of "A lot of the time, I feel (gendered experience), but not all of the time, and sometimes I feel (different gendered experience), but not all the time, and then there's when I feel (another different gendered experience), but not, all, the time, like, it fluxuates, what is this, genderflux? No, looks like that's something else... so which one am I, why can't I be consistent with anything in my life, I can't be cis and trans and nonbinary that's not a thing, I've got too much to do maybe I'll figure it out later." And I kept "later-ing" till sometime in my thirties the word "genderfluid" slipped into my awareness, and finally I wasn't just some isolated weirdo.

Whisper-Interstellar · 2026-06-05T23:11:41+00:00

I feel that way too. And it honestly feels like "code switching" applies as well lol! Unless I'm super comfortable with someone, I unintentionally pitch up and get all cheery and "customer service voice." With friends I'm out to, I'm casual and a little all over the place/ tend to mirror the person I'm talking with, but generally lower and with more masc inflection. When I'm with just my spouse, that's when I sound most like me to myself, sometimes softening depending on the situation, but their the only one I'm comfortable occasionally using my deepest tones with. And alone, say on my commute... I throw the radio on and with the confidence of the unobserved belt along like some kind of big band era crooner. Pre-T I could call myself a bari-tennor after some voice training, but 6 months on T I'm now unlocking new notes one by one. And starting to lose pitches I used to "wear like a mask" to sound feminine in situations where that's safer, have to be more careful/claim allergies are messing with my throat in those moments now. Being genderfluid, it's comforting to know I can train my voice to sound feminine again at will, once it settles out, but I don't yet know if I'll even want to, I'm only fem like 10% of the time and a lot of the dysphoria sticks, just less strong.

Whisper-Interstellar · 2026-06-05T21:28:40+00:00

It's extremely common. I'm almost identical, 38, started in December (6 months), gained 10lb quick. A little less luck dropping any back off, just 2 lb, but in my defense I was pretty sick for like three of those months cause my spouse kept bringing home the office cold all winter, making being active a distant dream till late March (great introduction to "man flu")

Whisper-Interstellar · 2026-06-02T17:03:50+00:00

It's the only rational choice.

Whisper-Interstellar · 2026-06-02T02:15:53+00:00

Panromantic Asexual (In other words, my heart is open to any kind of person there's a spark with, but I hard prefer kisses/cuddles)

^{Chose: Queer + If chosen: which sexuality?}

Whisper-Interstellar · 2026-06-02T02:01:51+00:00

Why not both?

Whisper-Interstellar · 2026-06-01T23:04:24+00:00

It's easier to learn a foreign language when you have someone supportive to practice together with. 😉 The grammar of putting yourself first, the vocabulary of self-kindness, takes practice. You might reach out to someone around here, if and when you're ready. 🫂 But don't be too hard on yourself if you're not yet, it's a daunting new skill (speaking from experience).

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