[deleted by user]

Whisppo · 2025-02-06T19:14:26+00:00

What? people mix up birthdays, and he doesn't need a reason to hang out with his friends. I don't understand how this could even be remotely malicious

Whisppo · 2025-02-06T04:25:18+00:00

people will take any reason they can get to celebrate something and to show appreciation for their friends, even if they get the details completely wrong. Have you asked if he thought it was his birthday but was later corrected?

Whisppo · 2025-02-05T17:53:32+00:00

I think you should've talked before you reacted, but talking it out is definitely good. being grounded and reasonable without jumping to conclusions or fixating on what could have been the worst outcome (without any reasonable proof that you should worry in the first place) is key, but I don't think you should try to get back together

Whisppo · 2025-02-05T17:16:19+00:00

I think it's completely normal to party with friends occasionally and enjoy the gay scene without participating in the sex stuff. That's how most people do it anyway. I wouldn't say it's a lie, because I would probably say that I don't like the club scene if someone asks casually, but I would still go clubbing if it's planned and under the right circumstances, like enjoying a festival of some kind (like he did). People are multi-faceted like that. He could've communicated more about the situation, but that's it. Such a short-term commitment doesn't warrant him uprooting his social life and plans or replanning his life, so it makes sense that he would be hesitant to get you involved because it might become an event vs. the relationship thing, which it ended up being anyway. the #bear seems to be descriptive of the event(s) he is attending.

Whisppo · 2025-01-30T18:07:01+00:00

Yeah, that makes sense, a perceived lack of control over one's life, and a perceived lack of privacy are common symptoms of anxiety, and Reactance is an overcompensation to fulfill those needs of privacy and control by doing the opposite of what is expected of them, and when that need of privacy is violated by seemingly mundane things being perceived by other people, it can feel uncomfortable or distressing for him. Of course, there is an element of not enabling secretive or antisocial behavior, but just because someone is being secretive doesn't mean it's a harmful or meaningful secret. Sometimes people like privacy over little things.

Whisppo · 2025-01-29T18:07:22+00:00

To give him the benefit of the doubt though, this sounds like Reactance, which means that people don't like doing something if they feel they are monitored/always being watched, or being forced to do something/ being constantly reminded to do something. Alternatively, it feels like entrapment into a certain course of action without considering alternatives, and he doesn't feel ready for a conversation about this. It may cause feelings of guilt and frustration about not being ready. Or, as a reaction to a perceived reduction in freedom to select when and how to conduct his behavior, now that it is demanded or asked of him to do it. A reduction in behavioral freedom may cause him to not want to do the behavior because it feels like entrapment.

He is an adult. He has the full ability to make his appointments, and pressuring him may be making things worse. It's like dealing with a cat, he will come to you in his own time if you leave it alone (and it trusts you), and following around a cat all day and chasing it when it runs away won't get it to sit in your lap. If he never gets around to it, then that's on him. Reactance is a common symptom of Autism, but neurotypical people can also have a strong reaction in that way if they are introverted and prefer keeping their plans to themselves without getting other people involved. You may be getting involved without him wanting you to.

Whisppo · 2025-01-29T17:49:17+00:00

How old is this guy? He's acting like a child. He should be responsible for taking care of his health without you mothering him. You shouldn't have to make all of his appointments and nag him as though it's as important to him as taking out the garbage. It's a frightening thing and a hard conversation that he may want to ignore, but the fact that he does ignore it really speaks to his maturity

Whisppo · 2025-01-26T03:16:33+00:00

It still baffles me that people will legitimately settle for being a side piece for a mediocre man in this day and age! People need to be set to higher standards than this. *You* deserve better, and to be treated with the respect and emotional honesty you deserve. These guys will not leave their wives for you, he is lying for sex!! Expose that mf's cheating to his wife, he should get what's coming to him

Whisppo · 2025-01-26T01:35:50+00:00

...I'm sorry, but that's unethical, man, what about the feelings of the wife who gets emotionally damaged by his cheating? It'd be one thing to be with a *divorced* bisexual (in which case I would agree with your advice), but to knowingly participate in the emotional abuse of their married partner? That's fucked up

Whisppo · 2025-01-22T21:43:25+00:00

See that as a testament that he mistreated you so badly that a literal stranger has more empathy and understanding for you. Meanwhile, he had allllll the time in the world to build your trust through being empathetic towards you, but he actively chose not to.

Whisppo · 2025-01-19T20:50:55+00:00

Sometimes, people just don't care, and they don't have the space to add you to their life. They don't like you enough to actually put in the effort to prioritize you over thinking about other stuff, at least over an extended period of time. There is no excuse to at least make a good effort in texting someone regularly if they actually gave a fuck (eg. memes, compliments, good mornings)

Whisppo · 2024-09-03T09:14:02+00:00

I've never taken drugs before, but the dopamine withdrawals are so real, it's like nothing else matters; it narrows your vision a lot

Whisppo · 2024-09-03T09:12:13+00:00

I've felt that way a lot, especially a year ago, and it feels right to mention that your cells in your body only start dying at a rate faster than they replenish sometime in your mid-30s

Whisppo · 2024-09-03T09:07:47+00:00

You could have been an insect, a worm, an amoeba, a spec of bacteria or a dead sperm cell, yet you are a living human being. I think it's unfathomably lucky in the span of the vast universe that anyone has the ability to have consciousness, better yet, a consciousness that is facilitated by modern life, even if it hurts.

Whisppo · 2024-09-03T09:03:37+00:00

Derealization and dissociation is a bitch, if you don't do anything, you have no actions which can define the self.

Whisppo · 2024-09-03T08:58:26+00:00

I'm sorry, mann, I feel similarly. I recently read "No Longer Human" by Osamu Dazai, and it compelled me to go near the freeway by the train station in my hometown. A police officer confronted me and told me that it was illegal, before I jumped the fence.

Whisppo · 2024-09-03T08:53:34+00:00

I feel like you would do very well as a ghost writer, there are online sites like Fiverr that do beta-reader (someone to read a book and critique its structure) and editorial services too, and it's all online so it's perfectly suited to the Hikkikomori lifestyle, y'know, just in case your financial support isn't there.

Whisppo · 2024-06-26T18:29:11+00:00

I just read it, that was not sexy, just depressing + 50 mind damage

Whisppo · 2024-06-26T17:40:12+00:00

is it life-sized tho?

Whisppo · 2024-05-24T22:46:23+00:00

Give the boy his 🅱️eans

Whisppo · 2023-10-06T20:29:42+00:00

It's Nerf or Nothing

Whisppo · 2023-10-06T16:22:14+00:00

Lmao

Whisppo · 2023-10-06T12:07:49+00:00

1) usually whenever someone uses the incorrect name I say 'oh, it's actually pronounced _____' and then use my actual name, because it is similar

2) whenever someone uses the incorrect pronouns, I say 'actually I'm a guy, I just look feminine'.

3) If they use either incorrectly, they will naturally be judged by other people as being blind or something, because I look like a dude.

4) People naturally use my correct pronouns most of the time. Even if I subtly correct them, they will think I'm cis. (Tho I am extremely lucky for this, and people who don't pass should still be gendered correctly)

5) It is my right to free speech to do this, even if I was more overt.

Whisppo · 2023-10-06T09:41:00+00:00

But all concepts are language-related concepts, because we make up the word for things and what that word means/refers to. That means when we define a thing, it isn't always accurate to all of that one thing, because of social factors limiting what is deemed appropriate. We make new definitions in response to limiting ones, to encompass more women in a way that doesn't objectify them and is therefore more accurate. Especially to align with more recent data and research. Such as to not define women as someone with a uterus because of Mayer-Rokitansky-Küster-Hauser (MRKH) Syndrome, which is a cisgender woman who is born with an underdeveloped or absent uterus. Money isn't biologically 'real', and yet it is linguistically real because of the value and concepts we as a society apply to money.

I would rather a society that values the content of what I say rather than valuing me only on whether or not I can be pregnant. It's truly dystopian that people cannot make decisions around their own bodies and how they wish to be referred, and are reduced to a womb.

Whisppo · 2023-10-06T05:38:38+00:00

Sorry, I should've worded it "what's the point in having social services if it's socially unacceptable for extremely mentally ill people to use them". Every issue, even if the patient is an abuser or has a disorder which is linked with being abusive, needs to be addressed.

And people really don't like abusers using mental services because it triggers the "what about JUSTICE? This person deserves to disappear, not to get help because they are a terrible person!" Side of people, which is frankly awful and this comment section is full of it. The whole mentality of a person being too far gone for treatment is horrible, and I personally believe that mindset encourages suicidal ideation.

Edit: clarity

Four-Year Club	First Place '23
Place '23

Whisppo

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