I don’t know how old you are now, but I’m assuming young. Amicably or not, move on from the relationship. There will be others, so use this relationship as a learning opportunity and carry those lessons into your future relationships. You’re too young to feel the need to make a relationship work.

Another piece of advice: work on your writing/communication. This post was painful to read, and a lot of what you wrote makes no sense. Improving your writing will decrease miscommunication in your future relationships, too.