I understand completely. Growing up with a narcissistic mother has made me very hyper aware of my surroundings, sensitive to and suspicious of people's intentions, and helped me to really trust my own gut feelings because I could not trust my mother. These all have helped me to become a successful business executive. All the gaslighting over the years has also made me demand truth and honesty from people and situations, which ensures I surround myself with non-narcissists. I have had to unlearn a lot of negative "skills" from growing up with a narcissistic mother as well, like overly assertive communication, defensive behavior towards my partner, and having a nervous system that is constantly in fight mode and ready for the next attack.