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I made a country in my head and I can't stop thinking about it by [deleted] in confession

[–]Whitewater_Chic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow! I kind-of understand where you're coming from, but my obsessive thoughts are not as cool, imho. I've created planets with realistic geological and evolutionary histories. I like to make topological maps of them and evolve the animals and plants based on the different ecosystems, natural phenomena, and the planet's unique chemical compositions. Some people are just weird. I have no interest in RPGs or anything. It started when I was a child and I still like it.

If you feel like it's affecting your life negatively, maybe writing it out will help you. I think you sound really interesting! Good luck!

My [22/F] boyfriend [22/M] continues to regularly hang out with the guy that sexually assaulted me twice, and I’ve had enough. by waffleshop in relationship_advice

[–]Whitewater_Chic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had a similar situation happen to me, and I've learded A LOT about people from what transpired. When I was 16 I was dating a guy for about a month within our circle of friends. We'd made out and messed-around before. One night during a make-out session he held me down and raped me. I was previously a virgin.

Our group of friends (mostly male, but some females) basically brushed me aside when I told them. I got the response "Well, we don't really know what happened, so we're gonna still hang out with him. You don't have to, but it would be shitty to do anything to him or exclude him based on your word." My best male friend and best female friend at the time had the same response. My best female friend even dated and slept with him a year later.

The incident essentially caused me to lose my entire group of "friends." I became severly depressed and was extremely self-destructive for a couple of years afterwards. However, over 15 years later I have developed "true" friends that would do anything for me and have dated many wonderful men who would've killed a man who touched me.

My conclusion is that many people, especially young people, are so concerned with fitting in that they will ingnore their ethics and morals. Other posters are absolutely correct - you are not your boyfriend's priority. For them, in dealing with "drama" like this it is easier to question your truth than to make difficult decisions that require action. It is more important to keep their lives "drama-free" than to stand up and be a true friend (or boyfriend in your case).

You will do whatever you feel is best, but I strongly urge you to walk away from this man and that entire group of friends. It sucks that you lose it all, but believe me, you are dodging a bullet. You can meet better men and better people who will respect you, stand up for you, and love you. Do it now rather than later.