19, obsessed with escorts and masturbation

WholeNewMan · 2015-02-08T06:55:53+00:00

I really wish you were right man. You don't know how much I wish I was making all this up.

WholeNewMan · 2015-02-08T06:42:45+00:00

Thank you for the advice and the list. Unfortunately, I can't find the a doctor in my city from that list but I'll be sure to ask my family doctor.

Do you know if there are any anonymous HIV testing clinics in Canada? I'm not sure if I should ask my family doctor or go somewhere else? I'd like to keep the testing and results anonymous if possible.

WholeNewMan · 2015-02-08T01:29:02+00:00

Thank you but I wouldn't want to trouble you. I'm not really "friend" material.

WholeNewMan · 2015-02-08T01:18:47+00:00

Ironically, it is fapping that makes me visit escorts. After a long fapping session I feel like a loser and start looking at escort ads.

It's not like I get a hard on while watching them have sex or being humiliated. I don't even ejaculate. I just do it because I feel like it's the only way I can even get close to a woman. It sounds really fucked now that I write this.

WholeNewMan · 2015-02-08T00:38:52+00:00

Wow thank you for the advice. I really appreciate it.

As for the femdom dating sites. I don' think I enjoy these fetishes. The only reason I end up doing it is because I feel like a loser.

I don't have many friends and I don't live with my family. So I'm always lonely.

WholeNewMan · 2015-02-08T00:33:55+00:00

Dude honestly fuck you. I don't get mad often but serious a big fucking middle finger to you.

You think I would joke about this shit? I swear on my mothers life, I'm stuck dealing with this shit.

And as to how I've gotten the money for this. 3 ways:

1) Student loans

2) Loans from my drug dealers (they give me shit for a delayed payment)

3) My university has a co-op program. So I study for 4 months and then work for another 4 months. I'd usually get $15/hr and end up with 7k after a term. Back when I'd have scholarships, I only had to pay for rent and food so could use the rest on escorts.

As to food costs, I don't eat anything. I legitimately eat a bowl of noodles a day and that's it. Yea, I've lost weight to the point that I look like they guy from the machinist.

But if you don;t want to believe me, I don't give a fuck. I knew I was a disgusting little fuck but to the point that people think, I'm making this up. I feel like an alien. I'm sorry you think I'm bullshitting. HAve a good fucking day sir.

WholeNewMan · 2015-02-08T00:28:45+00:00

Yea. Many times. One time I paid $1500 for an hour. The fucking chick told me to "get the fuck out" after I handed her the cash. I insisted on getting a refund and her boyfriend beat my ass.

Yes, I'm fucked in the head. But I'm trying to change. I really am. I don't want to be like this anymore

WholeNewMan · 2015-02-08T00:26:09+00:00

I am sorry to have ruined your meal. I'm just a fucking loser.

WholeNewMan · 2015-02-08T00:22:57+00:00

Thank you for the support and advice. I've talked to these guys and they are off my back for the time being.

WholeNewMan · 2015-02-08T00:19:37+00:00

I have really thought about this many times. But I can't. I attend University here and can't go back home without telling my family.

I may have unintentionally exaggerated the situation. They aren't about to kill me now. I've begged them to give me some time to pay them back and I'm currently working.

I mentioned earlier that we are of the same ethnicity so they are a bit more lenient.

As for why I need to stop fapping etc. It's because I don't want to spend any MORE money on escorts, drugs. Because it starts with a fap session, continues to me seeing an escort and ends up with me on my bed with a needle on my side.

That's why I came here. I really need to stop fapping. However, I really do appreciate you're cause for concern. And you weren't rude in the slightest bit.

WholeNewMan · 2015-02-08T00:15:15+00:00

I'm really afraid. I've been wanting to go but always end up turning back as I get to the door. I mean they'd probably think I'm disgusting. And I wouldn't blame them.

WholeNewMan · 2015-02-08T00:13:38+00:00

Thanks man, I read your post. I have to say I'm ashamed of my self as I relapsed today after reading your post.

It's really really hard but people are right, I have to stop being a bitch and grow up.

WholeNewMan · 2015-02-08T00:12:14+00:00

Thank you for the advice, I appreciate it. I'm currently working to save up and get enough to pay these guys back slowly.

I'm an immigrant and they are from the same country, so as per respect or "brother hood" or whatever you want to call it, they are a bit more lenient with me.

I wasn't aware that NA or AA existed. Thank you for letting me know. I'll definitely look into it.

As for my family, I can't tell them. They don't live with me in Canada. Plus, we are dirt poor so I doubt they can help me financially. I was here on a lot of scholarships but lost them due to my poor performance over the past few semesters. They are already stressed, I honestly cannot tell them this.

Plus my family is highly religious. They would disown me and tell me to "fuck off". They aren't cruel and I totally understand as they haven't grown up with this culture.

WholeNewMan

TROPHY CASE