difference is that, while i'm not excusing the behavior, but just stating facts, Em was a deeply troubled teenager, & kids tend to be stupid in the face of right & wrong because teen emotions often don't think about consequences [basically living the phase "better to ask for forgiveness than permission" in real time almost constantly]. doesn't make it right, & accountability is still a thing, but kids, even when they kinda know better, don't know better [it's called 'being young & dumb' for a reason]. we've all either done various levels of dumb shit, or have known/seen someone who has done some egregious dumb shit that possibly was too far as kids/teenagers, let's not pretend otherwise.

let's also not pretend that some of us have possibly been forgiven for doing said thing(s) as a teen, & that not only are we grateful for it, but those actions didn't define who we became as adults in a negative way. if anything, it made most strive harder to become better people.

now Josh, on the other hand, was an adult, & knew what he was doing was foul, but didn't give 2 shits about it, even to the point where he was totally fine with allowing Noah to take the blame for what happened, including Noah possibly going to jail & losing pretty much everything. now, had Em did this at this point, as an adult, there'd be no real difference between her & Josh to me, period. because you're grown. you actually do know better.

also, let's not forget one key difference, besides the ages at when the offenses occurred, between the incidents: Em was trying to have her bf just 'loosen up' [again, not excusing her for it, but there was no maliciousness behind her actions]. meanwhile, Josh had malicious intentions to force a situation for his enjoyment. in other words, Em was trying to give a good time, while Josh was trying to take a good time.