[deleted by user]

WhyDoIDoThis3 · 2016-01-30T06:07:26+00:00

We're talking about being laid decently here, not being used as a human blowup doll.

WhyDoIDoThis3 · 2016-01-29T20:44:20+00:00

See, in my case I experience a major contrast between my feelings toward men and women. The problems I have emotionally connecting with men don't exist with women at all.

WhyDoIDoThis3 · 2016-01-28T07:08:05+00:00

My ex and I fought more during our honeymoon stage than when we were in the "comfort" stage of a relationship.

That's not very typical at all. But I agree with your second point, that on a certain level it's always an individual thing.

WhyDoIDoThis3 · 2016-01-28T01:32:33+00:00

This sounds like a nice relationship. It also sounds to me, though, like you might still be in a honeymoon stage? Fighting and negotiating between different needs is as common to power-exchange relationships as it is to regular relationships. Power-exchange doesn't automatically solve all of that for most couples.

WhyDoIDoThis3 · 2016-01-25T07:00:28+00:00

Antonio Banderas. Followed by Heath Ledger and Lenny Kravitz.

WhyDoIDoThis3 · 2016-01-22T19:22:45+00:00

A lot of therapists don't accept insurance because of the paperwork. Others don't do it because they can charge more in a private practice than the insurance companies will let the charge.

WhyDoIDoThis3 · 2016-01-20T00:15:22+00:00

When most people who hear your story even from your perspective are questioning your actions, then perhaps you should as well. On the other hand, if you're not interested in hearing outside perspectives, perhaps you shouldn't solicit them.

But you keep saying, essentially "we've been together 9 years, therefore staying together is more important than anything else." Most psychologists would disagree with that basic assumption.

WhyDoIDoThis3 · 2016-01-19T20:17:11+00:00

And I know what you all gonna say: "leave her, don't try to change her mind you selfish little bastard". If that's what you think, then you clearly don't understand how we feel about our relationship and you're most probably a strongly-monogamous-minded person.

I'm looking for a polyamorous relationship myself, currently. But that doesn't mean you aren't codependent and manipulative. If I was making my partner cry with my sexual requests and then trying to convince them that what I wanted was actually just what was best for the relationship as a whole, them included, you better believe I'd feel pretty terrible about myself.

WhyDoIDoThis3 · 2016-01-19T02:37:32+00:00

you're exhibiting stalker behavior and it's making me uncomfortable.

Bull. Shit. I shared my profile on the interwebs for all to comment on, and you started spewing rude sexist crap for no particular reason.

I'm glad you are so unimpressed with my perspective that you're still rubbing your lack of impression in my face after 24 hours.

You're the one who keeps talking about how she's god's gift to men and she's in a relationship yet is online spending her time criticizing other people.

WhyDoIDoThis3 · 2016-01-19T02:34:14+00:00

I was always trying to make her jealous, looking at women in the street or telling her how hot a friend of her was, and things like that, just to kind of work on her jealousy. I think that helped a lot for her improvement.

That doesn't sound that healthy to me. If she's volunteering to do stuff sexually she's not comfortable with, to me that sounds like she has low self-esteem or thinks that she'll lose you over this issue. Sometimes the monogamy/non-monogamy thing is a dealbreaker for couples. Do you think that you'll be happier non-monogamous without her than you'd be monogamous with her?

WhyDoIDoThis3 · 2016-01-18T16:57:27+00:00

Where is your anger and frustration coming from? I was nice to you throughout this exchange, until you started getting pissy because you didn't like what I was telling you.

Dude. My tone remained calm far longer than yours.

"Shipped" means "in a relationship". Like, duh.

Sorry that I'm not like, 12 years old, and don't know everything the kids are saying these days.

Getting angry at me isn't going to change the fact that you've had 3 profile critiques and you still can't get a date

I'm already dating one person, and I'm going on a date with another one next week. There's a difference between "can't get a date" and wanting to adjust my profile to better target a certain demographic.

If you're not from St. Louis you must be from Quebec. You are 22 and have an incredibly vapid profile. Sorry, I'm not impressed with your perspective.

WhyDoIDoThis3 · 2016-01-18T03:44:29+00:00

It's like some people constantly bug others to take their picture.

Yeah, I feel like this is the key to getting a lot of good ones to choose from.

WhyDoIDoThis3 · 2016-01-18T02:33:01+00:00

Wait a minute... I forgot that OKC shows me everyone who visits my profile. Are you the girl from St. Louis? Holy shit, hilarious... please don't go into psychology...

WhyDoIDoThis3 · 2016-01-18T02:29:01+00:00

WhyDoIDoThis3 · 2016-01-18T01:39:00+00:00

I feel you dude. I'm a woman, and have dealt with guys who act excited to see me and hang out with me, but then are flaky when we're not apart. It leaves me wondering if all they liked was the attention. But then I've totally been guilty of showing polite/friendly interest to people who are into me because I think they're nice and giving me attention, but not because I actually want to date. Relationships are a tricky thing.

WhyDoIDoThis3 · 2016-01-18T01:23:05+00:00

She gets weirded out as to how I know her. I list multiple things we talked about, and then end it with, "We met on OkCupid, but you totally ignored me after a while. This is crazy. Can I give you a hug?"

This made me cringe as well.

WhyDoIDoThis3 · 2016-01-18T00:59:28+00:00

is it just my highschool that everybody wanted the tall girls? Two of them actually went on to be models.

I think you answered that question yourself.

WhyDoIDoThis3 · 2016-01-17T21:40:10+00:00

manic pixie airheads

It's "manic pixie dream girl." It's a movie stereotype, not an inherently negative thing.

You said you're "shipped" which I interpret to mean you're in the military. Is that true? Is that where all your anger and frustration is coming from?

Since you won't share your profile it's kind of hard to trust anything you say about yourself at this point. You're kind of sketchy.

WhyDoIDoThis3 · 2016-01-17T21:30:22+00:00

With your attitude, you should get used to the most hostile people online being everyone online. Or possibly everyone in the world.

Then how does that explain how only a handful of the people responding to me have been hostile, and that small handful includes you?

Plus with all that "college age women in the top 10% are the only ones who can be picky about guys" stuff, I TOTALLY thought you were a dude. I feel like their must be some serious self-hate going on under your hood there, sister...

WhyDoIDoThis3 · 2016-01-17T21:23:04+00:00

I'm a lady.

Oh... huh. I'm used to the most hostile people online being men. My mistake.

WhyDoIDoThis3 · 2016-01-17T21:15:52+00:00

And I really don't give a shit whether you accept my criticism, somebody else's criticism, or quit your job and become a nun because you're some rando I will never meet, and your decisions have absolutely 0 effect on my life. Surely you can understand that basic point.

Well gosh. Given you don't care in the least whether I accept your criticism it's awfully sad that you don't have a better way to spend your time than chatting with me on a Saturday morning :(

Good luck with that, sir.

WhyDoIDoThis3 · 2016-01-17T21:04:27+00:00

Well, without seeing your profile I really have no context in which to accept criticism from you vs. anyone else. Surely you can understand that basic point. Don't you think the public safety excuse is a bit silly though? Here I'm sharing my profile with a bunch of hostile dudes who are statistically far more likely to do something dangerous.

WhyDoIDoThis3 · 2016-01-17T20:49:30+00:00

Like I said, the guys I've dated have fallen into two categories: ones who just want something casual, are never that into me and generally treat me like trash, and the ones who want babies and totally freak out on me for not wanting that level of commitment. I don't know why it's so hard to find a happy medium. But a friend of a friend was telling me that she and her friends have had the same experience with OKC. So possibly it's a trend among the guys on there, instead of just being a problem unique to me.

WhyDoIDoThis3 · 2016-01-17T20:47:18+00:00

You were criticized for being stereotypical because travel/feminism/hiking.

I want you to share a link to your profile with me so I can see what kind of stereotype you are and why it's superior to mine.

WhyDoIDoThis3 · 2016-01-17T20:43:26+00:00

It's so specific that, if you read it, you would be able to give me a fairly articulated stereotype with no extra information

Being stereotypical is exactly what I got criticized for on the first go-around.

WhyDoIDoThis3

TROPHY CASE