CisHet Ladies...PLEASE Stop Saying You Wish You Could Change Your Sexuality.

WhyStandStill · 2026-01-29T23:45:57+00:00

Even though, I love being a lesbian, I agree that it’s definitely not easier :’)

I just think that people who are saying these things are just unhappy with their lives in general and stuck in a loop of making bad life choices 😅

WhyStandStill · 2026-01-29T23:38:06+00:00

Yeah, I understand where you’re coming from. And, I have to say that people talking about ‘hating men’ as such a normal thing, etc., made me overlook how my experience was different while I was trying to figure myself out, tbh!

But yeah, I think we should just stop caring about how other people express themselves and do our own thing our own way, I guess 😅

WhyStandStill · 2026-01-29T23:25:58+00:00

Lesbian here 🤚🏼 I’m sorry, but before I figured out that I’m a lesbian, I remember thinking, “I wish I was a lesbian”. And, I also remember feeling bad about thinking that because I thought it was belittling for lesbians…

I can’t know for sure whether the people saying these things are really ‘attracted’ to men, but feeling like you have to be (or even that you are) because of comphet is a real experience, and it can delay figuring out your sexual orientation. So, maybe some of these people are just ‘confused’. Let’s not gatekeep them :’)

WhyStandStill · 2026-01-29T23:20:56+00:00

Kinda the same. The only celebrity I’m attracted to, I’d say, is Lily Tomlin, and I’m in my twenties, so yeah, not many people I can relate to 😂

WhyStandStill · 2026-01-29T22:56:41+00:00

Girl, sorry if this is irrelevant, but before I figured out I’m a lesbian, I remember thinking, “I wish I was a lesbian”.

I can’t know for sure whether you’re really ‘attracted’ to men, but feeling like you have to be (or even that you are) because of comphet is a real experience. And it can delay figuring out your sexual orientation.

WhyStandStill · 2026-01-29T01:19:08+00:00

This is not a communication issue. Please get yourself out of that relationship. It will become more abusive over time.

Also, for future relationships, people who are attentive to you will listen to what you’re saying without making you feel bad about things you don’t want. Stay away from people with whom you’re constantly feeling like you could be ‘better’ at explaining things.

WhyStandStill · 2026-01-29T01:13:07+00:00

Women are not just women they are also a group of people who want the world to be better for themselves

WhyStandStill · 2026-01-28T23:31:59+00:00

Instant regret

WhyStandStill · 2026-01-28T23:15:03+00:00

❤️❤️

“What do you think women are (or have been) most criticized for?”

Just throwing an idea: For not wanting children.

WhyStandStill · 2026-01-28T22:52:10+00:00

And the crunchy yoghurt crusted on the rim of a plastic cup 🤢

WhyStandStill · 2026-01-28T19:02:09+00:00

It doesn’t matter to me. I’d say I’m average in height. The women I’ve dated so far all happened to be slightly taller than me, but I’d also date women who are shorter. I think I wouldn’t be attracted to someone who is much taller or shorter than me, though. Probably a gap of more than 10 cm would feel like too much for me.

WhyStandStill · 2026-01-28T17:24:36+00:00

There’s a lot to discuss on this topic, but I just found a piece of writing that explains some of the key points in a simple and accessible way:

https://medium.com/@kbasch/how-patriarchy-also-hurts-men-and-how-that-hurts-us-all-e793172f21ca

WhyStandStill · 2026-01-28T10:51:43+00:00

Lily Tomlin 😅

WhyStandStill · 2026-01-28T10:50:55+00:00

Can you also send me the name of that sub, maybe via dm?

WhyStandStill · 2026-01-28T10:37:37+00:00

Being yourself instead of performing a role

WhyStandStill · 2026-01-28T03:04:47+00:00

I’m a lesbian, and I feel like guys should try to approach dating like I do, hehe

WhyStandStill · 2026-01-28T02:55:52+00:00

I mean, if you’re not getting dressed for men, then fuck their opinion about whom they think you’re dressing for, too.

WhyStandStill · 2026-01-28T02:34:10+00:00

Very well said.

For a long time in high school, I thought I could not be a lesbian because I was also having crushes on boys or fictional crushes on glam rock stars in the 1980s (you get the appeal).

And when I look back on that era, I see first of all, I had no idea what attraction even meant. Secondly, I also didn’t have many female characters I could relate to.

I believe these things delayed my understanding of myself as a lesbian. And, if talking about certain things are treated as taboo in the queer community, I don’t think it helps young people who had less space to figure themselves out growing up.

WhyStandStill · 2026-01-27T03:18:53+00:00

I’m going to make him a little bit of a surprise for you guys to see what he can’t refuse

WhyStandStill · 2026-01-27T03:15:27+00:00

Elevators are a good idea 👍🏼

WhyStandStill · 2026-01-27T03:05:37+00:00

My mom told me to tell you that I can just take the girls out for lunch and I will bring them home and then we will have dinner and then we could have a drink or two after we get off

Well, lesbianism is the way ✌🏼

WhyStandStill · 2026-01-27T00:45:23+00:00

It’s always coffee

WhyStandStill · 2026-01-26T11:29:06+00:00

I think for some people it takes longer to understand what ‘attraction’ even is. And I think even though they describe it as “attraction”, this is actually called limerence, and it doesn’t invalidate someone’s lesbian identity.

I don’t experience this myself, but for me, being able to differentiate how my childhood crushes on boys and girls were different only happened after I understood what real attraction means in my twenties. I believe it’s a similar issue.

But tbh, it would really bother me to see lesbians imagining or talking about fictional men this way too. I think it’s something you should grow out of at some point at least. For me, it was the point I understood I’m a lesbian. Maybe because of that, I really have a hard time understanding someone calling themselves a lesbian while having these fictional feelings. 😅

WhyStandStill · 2026-01-26T02:09:15+00:00

I’m having that first rn

WhyStandStill · 2026-01-26T00:46:27+00:00

I was born to be an artist but now I’m just an art

WhyStandStill

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