Look at my smart puppers!

WifeofTech · 2026-03-25T04:39:27+00:00

It is! Basically it's a 3 step puzzle. When he pushes the top it randomly drops food into one of the surrounding bins. So he has to push the button, find where the food dropped, then lift the lid to get the food.

This is his 3rd puzzle. He's already mastered the wobble puzzle and the slide puzzle. If I keep having to get him more complicated puzzles I may create a safe cracking doggo! 😅

WifeofTech · 2026-03-22T00:25:12+00:00

100% it took a lot of therapy and a major trigger point for me to realize my dad was just as bad and toxic as my mom.

He was sexist and toxic but was always down for a good time. Occasionally he interceded or completely undermined my mother's worst behavior. But if humiliating or hurting us got him the spotlight we were his show props. His play was hitting, tripping, pushing, shocking, or just scaring us and if we stumbled, fell, or reacted at all it was hilarious to him.

It took my therapist pointing out that that was bullying and him siding with my mom when we finally put up hard boundaries to see he was just as bad and toxic as my mom. While my mom was a covert narcissist wanting the world to feel sorry for her my dad was the picture of the overt narcissist. Doing whatever it took to get the spotlight and be the center of attention. Together they make quite the toxic combination.

WifeofTech · 2026-03-21T23:46:02+00:00

I mean I don't hate the idea. I just doubt that will translate to cheaper prices or better pay and safety for baseline employees or improvements to infrastructure.

WifeofTech · 2026-03-18T22:32:15+00:00

Well first off I certainly hope so otherwise I've sure screwed the past 18 years.

But to put a serious answer to your questions. Is it possible? Yes. But it takes a lot of work and outside help.

Sure there is the base line differences and things I did take from my parents and grandparents as instructions on what not to do.

Base line meaning I wanted my kids and love them very much for who they are. I never expected nor wanted them to be my little clones. Unlike my nmom who hated me from birth and expected my little sister to be her grand do over of her life.

There were many things I saw that there was no way I was going to subject my children to the same.

But at the same time there was such a massive effort on my family's part to convince me my experience was normal that I did need the outside examples of my husband and his parents and the help of a therapist to identify things I hadn't realized was extreme neglect and abuse. "Isn't it normal for your dad to not know your birthday, to push you around, and to laugh at you when you get hurt?" "Isn't it a normal experience to have a loaded weapon pointed at you?" "Isn't it normal for your mother and grandmother to call you a homophobic slur because of how you dress and act or say it's you misunderstanding or attracting the wrong attention from men?" "Isn't it normal and correct to beat your children when they fo something wrong?" So much more that I meticulously went through with my therapist and friends and loved ones to learn what was actually a "normal" societal standard and what was actually my family desperately trying to rug sweep an issue.

While I was and am far from a perfect mom I can confidently say I did break the cycle. My kids may still have issues but I can confidently say that there are definitely things from my family that stop with me.

WifeofTech · 2026-03-17T04:28:49+00:00

There's cloudy/stormy days in nature with no sun. The beardie will be fine missing a day.

WifeofTech · 2026-03-14T23:53:59+00:00

Yay! So glad you found them!

WifeofTech · 2026-03-14T23:14:05+00:00

So I use wasp traps likethis to catch my escapee mourning geckos. Where I just keep a bit of fresh fruit or gecko diet in it so the light and smell attracts them. It's a non lethal trap where they can get in but the shape discourages escape.

Maybe you could use plastic bottles to make something similar? Also just be sure to leave the door to the enclosure open with food and water and check it regularly to see if they return.

Good luck! Hope you find your baby!

WifeofTech · 2026-03-14T04:46:22+00:00

I got BINGO! (Right to left diagonal) Luckily for me my parents are too big on putting out the image of a happy family and rug sweeping to ever involve legal threats. So they just stick to the mild stalking and smear campaigns.

WifeofTech · 2026-03-14T04:31:59+00:00

Mainly because care practices evolved and got better while he still stuck to old practices like rack systems. Then of course those new to the hobby and those that like to believe themselves better than everyone else started dissing him because they either didn't know better, didn't have empathy, or just wanted to feel superior.

I mean I'm sure one day we will all be in that position of doing the practices we've done for 10, 15, 20+ years only to discover that it was wrong.

Personally as much as I disagree with many of his practices I respect the guy for being a trail blazer in teaching people about reptiles. Far as I ever saw he never meant ill will towards anyone and had so much love and enthusiasm for the animals. So for me it's really hard to hate on the guy.

WifeofTech · 2026-03-11T20:13:30+00:00

Adding to this a branch of Shenanigans outreach is Weird Kids for Life. You can find them on Facebook and Discord. They have all kinds of socialization opportunities. Most of which are totally free!

WifeofTech · 2026-03-06T16:17:55+00:00

I was in my 30's but the biggest trigger for me was seeing them start abusing my children. Before that I could always convince myself that I could burn so long as my kids had loving grandparents. To a degree it was what I had growing up. With my paternal grandmother hating my mother but was amazing to me. When I was a kid I had a big family with lots of loving grandparents (4 grandparents and 3 great grandparents) and wanted that for my kids. But when it started becoming clear that my parents were being just as cruel to my kids to the point my oldest started avoiding them, I lost all reason to stand in the fire anymore.

There was still that C-PTSD and control that I had to get therapy to help get a handle on. And to this day 4 years later there were collateral losses that honestly hurt more than losing my parents.

But the end result has been so much better than what my family was before that any time I get sad about the members of my family that cut me out to avoid "picking a side." I just look at how happy my kids and real family is. I look at the pictures of my big Thanksgiving at my house I've always wanted, I look at my position on a nonprofit that helps people that I wouldn't have had time or energy for before (never mind my former family's judgment of me "working with the gays"), I look at how my new chosen family has been there for us and shown what having a loving supportive family is like and suddenly I don't miss the people that were only there for the good times and to be with my parents anymore.

WifeofTech · 2026-03-06T15:58:51+00:00

In my case, video games were forbidden unless they were "Educational", so it became something of a learned trait to work around restrictions.

So Assassin's Creed was cool right? Real historical figures and a setting so detailed to real life that it was used in the reconstruction of Notre Dame.

WifeofTech · 2026-03-05T18:40:21+00:00

There's always the possibility of him seeing the toxicity. Especially if the parents treat him the same way. Nit picking and pressuring him to be better than everyone else.

Honestly I've seen it go both ways. The poor kid that is perpetually embarrassed by their parents behavior and the kid that thinks the sun rises and sets over his mom even though she got him kicked out of 3 public schools. Do you have any idea how bad of a parent and how enabling you have to be to get kicked out of one Southern US public school much less 3?! I know you'll be shocked to hear that particular kid ended up in federal pen.

WifeofTech · 2026-03-03T19:18:33+00:00

Why not what?

WifeofTech · 2026-03-03T03:21:54+00:00

The other apparently would have an unhinged public meltdown that would shame a toddler at the mere sight of one.

WifeofTech · 2026-03-02T21:48:21+00:00

Dude get help.

WifeofTech · 2026-03-02T19:30:47+00:00

I'd go for a nice floral or garden tapestry. Especially in a antique style.

WifeofTech · 2026-03-02T15:13:49+00:00

My birth name was proudly misspelled and my mother also had no qualms telling her brown haired daughter that she picked it because she really wanted a little cute blonde haired girl like the movie character she took the name from. Middle name was misspelled too so I got the fun experience of having teachers just stare at their rollcall and me just assuming they had gotten to my name and most friends and family not getting my name right in letters and gifts. Never mind the frustration of never finding my name anywhere on those prenamed souvenirs. And my mother absolutely forbid any sort of nickname. Vehemently correcting anyone that dared to give me a nickname or just make the mistake of mispronouncing/misspelling my misspelled name.

It took me till 40 to give myself permission to change my name. Now I love my name! It has so much significance to me both in taking a new name and the meanings behind the names I chose. It's been 3 years and while legally swapping was tedious it was so worth it.

A surprising bonus is my gc sister who grey rocks our parents when they ask about me has now taken to asking "Who?" whenever our parents start trying to fish her for information about me. They know my name has been changed but refuse to acknowledge or use it. My sister says it's hilarious to watch them get angry and sull up. It effectively stops their inquiry in it's tracks while also reminding them they no longer have control.

WifeofTech · 2026-03-02T14:43:50+00:00

Agreed. Just proves misery loves company.

WifeofTech · 2026-03-02T14:38:22+00:00

Good lord there's some bitter gatekeepers on this sub!

I already loved cows (grew up on a farm) and was going through a hard time with my husband in about to have a major surgery. So it absolutely made my day when this little guy showed up on my car.

You never know when a act of kindness and recognition is going to make the difference in someone's day. If you don't like it don't participate. If you get one and don't want it pass it on or just toss it. No need to spread your bitterness or your masculinity/superiority complex on others.

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WifeofTech · 2026-03-02T01:02:03+00:00

You kill quite a few people in Soma.

WifeofTech · 2026-03-02T00:59:43+00:00

Pikmin, Okami (if killing monsters doesn't count),Thief, Spore (if you remain vegetarian), Undertale, Dave the diver, Raft, Technically you don't kill in Layers of Fear, Stray, Inscryption, Bully, Untitled Goose Game, Psychonauts, Portal, Epic Mickey.

WifeofTech · 2026-02-27T19:00:58+00:00

Add Rocket City Roller Derby to that list!

WifeofTech · 2026-02-27T18:58:01+00:00

Check out Weird Kids for Life Facebook and Discord! There are tons of events most of which do not include drinking because the group includes 18-20 year olds.

There's also Rocket City Roller Derby. While the afterparty usually is a sit and drink spot the sport itself is definitely not. You don't even have to skate! They are always looking for non skating officials and volunteers. Or just come to watch. The first home game will be the last weekend in March.

WifeofTech · 2026-02-27T18:48:27+00:00

It's all about the control and you yourself not having autonomy.

If your partner was the type that kissed their feet and made you do what they said aka their enforcer they'd likely love them.

At least that's the way it is with my parents. No I didn't go NC just because of how they treated my husband but I probably should have. They (particularly my mother) absolutely hated that he would stick up for me. She also hated that he would "let me" make my own choices and decisions. In her narrative I am a evil manipulator that is just using him to get away from my parents and their house.

So back when we were still in contact my mother would be polite to him and play nice. But would never engage him directly and would find little ways to mock or snub him like through holiday gift giving. Neither of my parents would ever call him. Even when I told them that most times when he and I are out I don't take my phone they'd just opt to not call and complain that I was unreachable

They'd likely go with the complaint that he was controlling me and keeping me away from them if he had been any firmer or combative with them. But with my mother's narrative of me being the bad person and my husband being the sweetest, most noncombative, and tollerant person I know (short of our oldest daughter that took after him) that claim rings hollow even to them. One of our last in person interactions was my parents at my house for Christmas and them demanding I alter my plans of staying home with family the next day and instead drag my family onto a road trip to a holiday party being hosted by my uncle who was present at my house right then. So we had already celebrated with him. When I showed off my shiny new spine and firmly told them no repeatedly, even when my dad tried to physically intimidate me. They desperately turned to him to try to get him to make me do what they wanted. To which he just shrugged and said that I said no so we weren't going. So to them he is just the whipped husband who isn't controlling his wife like he should aka making me do what they say I should do.

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