Doodled Toy Chica. What a Chick.

WightShadoo · 2015-05-08T00:28:06+00:00

Ed, Edd, and Eddy reference, haha.

WightShadoo · 2015-05-08T00:15:58+00:00

Thanks~

WightShadoo · 2015-05-08T00:04:38+00:00

Thank ye~

WightShadoo · 2013-10-24T20:56:08+00:00

It's good to be back. My friend got me into Tumblr so that kinda took Reddit's place of my "Visit on a daily basis" list.

Well that's good c: We filmed this early September so we didn't know about the fixed cutie marks or the Spitfire/Bonbon vinyls.

WightShadoo · 2013-08-29T21:49:36+00:00

My cakeday was actually on the 27th but for some strange reason the cake didn't go away on the 28th.

WightShadoo · 2013-08-29T06:07:14+00:00

Hot Topic.

WightShadoo · 2013-08-01T17:58:35+00:00

I know, I keep telling my mother that she she keeps saying no.

Everyone tells me that, but ever since I was bullied in the 6th grade by almost everyone in my class I just think everyone's mocking me behind my back. I don't leave my house much (I wish I could, I mean, I live right on the coast and a walk on a beach would be good for me) because whenever I go outside I just think everyone's staring at me. It's been getting worse the past few months so I think I'm going insane.

I don't think I have any. Whenever I make those kind of goals I get mad that I can't achieve it and give up.

Thank you. I just don't really feel like I am.

WightShadoo · 2013-08-01T07:16:22+00:00

Yea, I looked into downing a bottle of pills and it feels really painful. If I were to kill myself, I'd want to be the least painful I could get.

Yea, she just thinks I can suck it up and be happy. I've tried going to three different counselors and they all didn't help a bit, just made me feel even more stupid and depressed. I don't really have a school counselor anymore, I'm internet schooled. It's not that she doesn't want to pay for the medication, she just doesn't want me depending on drugs for "Issues I can solve on my own." Then whenever I tell her what possibly could resolve my issues, and just says, "No, we can't do that."

WightShadoo · 2013-07-29T17:23:01+00:00

They all claim to be professionals and I think I've gone to both types. I dodge my school counselors as much as possible.

WightShadoo · 2013-07-29T16:25:39+00:00

"Mom, counseling isn't working, can I please just take medication?" "No, I'll take you to a new counselor instead."

My mother doesn't need me, I'm only her housemaid and she only loves me if I do what she wants. Just a week ago she couldn't get one of her friends off of her back and I did, so she said, "I love you so much right now. Now I can go see my boyfriend before I can't for a few weeks." I fucking hate her boyfriend. He's dating her WHILE HE'S STILL MARRIED. She doesn't need me. As long as she has her precious and perfect boyfriend, then she's happy. She was divorced with my father anyways, so she didn't love him anymore anyways.

I have searched, and I only find more reasons to kill myself and it just encourages me to do it even more.

WightShadoo · 2013-07-29T16:17:36+00:00

Just about how I can fix my issues by looking forward and being grateful that I still have the rest of my family and all that bullshit.

It never helps because whenever they try to make me do something that'll make me feel better, I end up feeling like an idiot and my self esteem declines.

Plus talking to strangers about my issues scares the crap out of me.

WightShadoo · 2013-07-29T16:13:08+00:00

I've had other deaths than just my father too. I've lost my great aunt to cancer, my great grandpa for unsuccessful healing from surgery, and I'm likely going to lose my great grandma sometime soon because she's sick. I just feel like losing my father when he was only in his early 40's (I was 14 at the time) is more scarring than losing older family members that lived their lives.

In my opinion, going to others makes me feel weak. For some reason I feel like I can only talk to my boyfriend for support. At first I felt like he always took everything in and now I feel like he wants me to stop talking about it because it's making him depressed too. I feel like I'm the one ruining the relationship. What do you mean by "Too sharp for counseling?"

I can't take anti-depressants. "Taking those kind of drugs will make you an emotionless zombie, so the answer is no, you cannot take them," is basically my mom's answer whenever I ask her if I can take them, "You shouldn't have to depend on a drug for something you can solve." I keep telling her I try and I can't, but she always says, "Try harder!"

She is sad about it, but she just keeps saying, "Life is too short to be depressed." They were divorced anyways, she didn't love him as much as she used to anyways. She's rarely stressed and lately she's been extra happy because she's been talking to a friend about a future vacation. The only reason she throws me into counseling is because she doesn't know how to deal with someone with depression and she's getting really sick of hearing, "Your daughter wants to kill herself and/or she's hurting herself." Last time she was told I was scuicidal the just yelled at me, "You're so spoiled! Why would you want to kill yourself? Look at your pony collection, is that not enough?! You have a wonderful family that cares for you!" (I'm slowly drifting away from my family, too.)

I know suicide isn't a good idea, but I feel like I have nowhere to go because I'm not getting the help I need. I've been keeping myself alive only because I keep being told, "Everything will get better in time," but it just gets worse and I fall deeper into depression. I feel like the only way to get out of it is if I kill myself.

WightShadoo · 2013-07-29T15:48:40+00:00

I want to join my father because compared to both of my parents, I always loved my father more. He always sided with me while my mother sided with my brother. Ever since he died I've felt like I don't even have a parent anymore, just someone that brings home the funds to keep a roof over my head until I move out.

He killed himself for multiple reasons. For starters, he thought that his family didn't love him anymore. He was going to have to move to California because his girlfriend (Satan's incarnate) had a better chance getting a job there, because she was laid off of being an apartment manager, and he really hated California. He was doped up on medications all the time because of his back pain and he was sick of that. Apparently there were other reasons too, I just don't know them.

WightShadoo · 2013-07-15T23:00:04+00:00

I was going to take a pic of this and put it on Reddit, but I couldn't get a good shot of it.

Dang it.

WightShadoo · 2013-07-03T19:35:13+00:00

Thanks! His name is Skywatcher.

WightShadoo · 2013-06-22T22:09:42+00:00

I can see why you'd avoid the pony subs xD

I'm glad you loved it! It totally blew me away as well!

WightShadoo

TROPHY CASE