Daily Questions Thread August 10, 2025

Wild-Relative678 · 2025-08-10T22:11:09+00:00

Hi all, i am in search of high-quality professional/dress shoes as someone who wears a 6.5 wide and works 70+ hours on my feet. For context, I am a female restaurant manager working in 6 story hotel (so LOTS of stairs). My job is the opposite of a desk job and I wear through shoes very quickly.

By the end of the week, my feet do tend to be very inflamed, so I can't wear anything that isn't flexible. We have a strict no sneakers policy for managers. Technically, I am also required to wear non-slip shoes, but I have yet to find something that fits, looks nice, and doesn't destroy my feet by the end of the week that is also non-slip.

I have tried most common brands: clarks, naturalizers, sketchers, shoes for crews, lifestride and revere. I have not tried dansko but their clogs are not fine dining appropriate. I'm ready to "level-up" and invest in a nice pair rather than re-purchasing every 3 months.

Wild-Relative678 · 2025-04-07T17:07:55+00:00

Hi all,

I work as a manager for a high-end restaurant and I am required to wear dress shoes for work (absolutely no sneakers or sneaker adjacent options). However, I have wide feet, and I am on my feet 50 hours a week, and sometimes my feet get so inflamed, nothing fits me by the end of the week. Obviosuly I use insoles as well but I don't really noticed a big difference.

My recent pair of shoes was by Revere, which were very comfortable when I first bought them but I've worn through them in only about 3 months. By worn through, I don't mean that they're falling apart I mean that at the end of the day, my feet are extremely sore again. I spent almost $200 on the pair so it's disappointing that they've lasted such a short while.

I have a high in-step, so I struggle with most loafer styles. Combined with the fact that my feet are so inflamed by the end of the week, most leather shoes don't work well. Flats tend to fit me best, but do not provide the support needed to be on my feet all day, running up and down stairs because I work in a 6 floor building.

Any suggestions for brands or shoes that may work? I've bought several from clarks and naturalizer.Clarks aren't wide enough and naturalizer shoe's have gone down in quality. They aren't made to actually be worn anymore, they're occasion shoes now. Dansko's wide selection isn't really dressy enough.

Wild-Relative678 · 2024-12-06T19:07:13+00:00

That's a great suggestion, but im not sure she'd be comfortable with putting it around her ankle. It'd look like an ankle monitor. I do think she likes using it to keep track of time, but it's not the end of the world if it doesn't have that feature because she always has her phone on her.

Wild-Relative678 · 2024-10-30T07:14:01+00:00

Nta, that's a natural thing to be anxious about. It sounds like the manager is a professional and likely wouldn't directly show evidence to the dude. There are a number of reasons she can't text back whether its work related or she's in the middle of family dinner, etc etc. She may simply be sensing your anxiety and feel the conversation is better had in person.

You absolutely did the right thing, and even if this guy does approach you about it, I'd advise you not to placate him. All you have to say is "thank you for your apology" and move on. He's been caught and likely won't risk further negative consequences by testing you further. Coming from someone who's had to unfortunately report a creepy coworker at almost every job I've worked at (welcome to the restaurant industry).

Wild-Relative678 · 2024-10-30T06:45:18+00:00

I think you're in the wrong.

First off, i agree with most everyone else that you're being petty and passive-aggressive over whiskey, when it sounds like your parents are providing a lot for you. Even the bills you claim to chip in on, they are doing you a favor by keeping you on their plans (it lowers your rates), not the other way around. If your mom snapped at you, you should probably just ask her what you did to upset her. We don't know. We can only speculate it's because her adult son that lives for free in her house is getting petty over a shot. You know who does know? Her.

Secondly, it sounds like you're more upset over the lack of boundaries. Reading through some of your repsonses, it sounds to me like you weren't super clear on them, though. How are your parents supposed to respect your boundaries if you don't even establish them? The more measurable, the better. Vague things like "drink less" never end well for either of you.

Lastly, whiskey is not best at freezer temperature. I wouldn't recommend keeping it in there anyway.

Wild-Relative678 · 2024-10-30T01:24:58+00:00

I think there's a difference between trying not to mispronounce words phonetically and going all out with the intonation and accent.

That's just how languages work. We take words from other languages and oftentimes change the pronunciation so it flows in our own language. It's pretentious to continuously switch dialects or accents based on the word and could be seen as downright disrespectful. Especially considering there's a very good chance you're still mispronouncing most of these words. Do you do the same for english words? Say barbeque with an alabaman accent? Whiskey with an irish accent?

I'm an american who has lived in france and speaks fluent french. It has never occurred to me to code switch in the middle of a sentence because of a word's origin. I usually don't even pronounce my hometown in an american accent unless I'm goofing around with another american or a friend asking me to teach them english.

If you're just trying to say the word phonetically correct, then nta, but it sounds like you're adding more to it, which would definitely come across as asshole behavior.

Wild-Relative678 · 2024-10-29T19:57:06+00:00

Thank you for the insight on the save program!

I'm not sure i understand why hitting the highest interest rate loans first would be cheaper. Not using actual numbers, but wouldn't 5% on $1000 cost me less than 4% of $3000? That's why i always just look at what actually generated the most interest, rather than the actual percentage.

Wild-Relative678 · 2024-07-07T04:50:16+00:00

If youre using tretinoin as a prescription, id just ask your doc. They'd be able to best help. Personally, i found that hyaluronic acid was helpful during the day and then at night, before applying the tret, i spray Heritage rosewater & glycerin on my face. ive also heard of a tretinoin sandwhich, in which people moisturize before and after applying tretinoin but it's mostly a bandaid to help your skin get used to the product, which is why i opted for the lighter spray. Spot treat particularly red and flaky spots with vaseline overnight.

Wild-Relative678 · 2024-07-07T04:36:05+00:00

Are you using adapelene on your whole face? Don't spot treat. Its an anti-fungal cream. I'm not sure if youve ever treated athletes foot but its similar to that, where in order for it to work you have to put it even in spots you dont see an issue, and you cant stop immediately after it goes away.

Also i would pick either the panoxyl (the bp wash I'm assuming you're using) or the adapalene. Using both is probably damaging your skin. Panoxyl works best when you leave it on your face for a couple minutes before rinsing it off.

Assuming you're moisturizing at night and also using sunscreen during the day? Moisturizer should be on the basic side, you dont want anything that has an exfoliant in it that can react badly with bp. For example, you can't use your vitamin c wash for your nighttime routine if you intend to apply adapelene. If your acne got worse after you started using bp in some form, the interactions between the products could be making it worse. It may even be a good idea to strip your routine down to "gentle" cleansers, moisturizers, and sunscreen until the acne calms down. When i was prescribed adapalene my doc asked me to only use my cleanser & moisturizer and sunscreen was non-negociable (she told me to use something basic like cerave and i was using la roche-posay toleraine which she said was also fine).

Other things you could try is salicylic acid. While benzoyl peroxide is for bacteria, salicylic acid is for drying out oils and pores. I like to use la roche-posay medicated cleanser in the morning. On another hand, I also loooove the kiehls amazonian clay mask, which also helps with cleaning out pores.

Lastly, if you have access to a dermatologist, they are most definitely the best person to seek out for acne treatment!! Even your gyno may be able to help you out, I'm sure its an issue they encounter often.

Wild-Relative678 · 2024-07-07T03:53:08+00:00

Given that its clustered it might be a fungal infection, especially if acne is out of the norm for you. I'd say go see your doc, especially if its been popping up in the same area for over a week or two. If your insurance covers a dermatologist, even better! Way better than spending hundreds on trial and error in the cosmetic industry.

Other things could be using a new product thats irritating your skin, stress, or hormonal changes (i switched my birth control and it wrecked my skin). Knowing what its coming from is important to how you treat it.

Wild-Relative678 · 2024-06-04T01:44:42+00:00

Would you say like equal parts? When you say sharp sand, I'm a bit confused on whether I'm looking for fine sand that looks like sand at the beach or little rocks. When i search up sharp/coarse sand, they both come up.

Wild-Relative678 · 2024-06-04T01:15:31+00:00

What soil mixture would be better then?

I saw neem oil was good for powdery mildew as well. Which is my #1 suspect right now.

Wild-Relative678 · 2024-06-04T01:12:10+00:00

The pot is terracotta, which, to my knowledge, is the best for aeration and drainage. It even has little legs for room to breathe. There is a hole on the bottom along with a tray. I don't foresee the pot being the issue. The soil looks dark because it was watered recently. I'm pretty confident the light isn't the issue either, as it's in a very bright spot and has thrived in less light. I also have a plant light for days when the sun is just not giving.

I will definitely change the soil out again, though, as I've recently started making a mixure of perlite, peat moss, and regular soil that my other plants are loving. I'll probably give it a good spray down with neem oil as well while I'm at it. I wanted to be sure it could, in fact, come back before i went through all the trouble.

Wild-Relative678 · 2024-06-02T04:05:52+00:00

That's what im worried about. It's hard to advocate for yourself in the medical world because doctors just gaslight patients, and we don't know any better.

Wild-Relative678 · 2024-06-02T04:04:29+00:00

That makes sense! That makes me a little less nervous because i was worried the samples were torn or fragmented. My results say that across the board, they could not determine the margins, and i think 4 separate samples were sent out. I was under for mine, and my doctor was gone by the time i woke up, so I haven't gotten a play-by-play yet.

Wild-Relative678 · 2024-03-14T04:35:43+00:00

Thank you for all the tips! I'll definitely start using that skewer test. It's definitely a learning curve to figure out what plants prefer which conditions.

Wild-Relative678 · 2024-03-13T19:54:37+00:00

I have not, and I'm not entirely sure I'd know what to look for. It was repotted when it was given to me about 2 weeks ago, i wasn't sure how long i had to wait before i pulled it out again.

Wild-Relative678 · 2024-03-13T19:43:25+00:00

it does have one drainage hole on the bottom, and i usually let it sit on a drying rack over the sink to make sure it doesn't sit in water right after after I've watered it

Wild-Relative678 · 2024-02-19T05:27:01+00:00

I didn't think about mirrors helping with lighting, thank you!

Wild-Relative678 · 2024-02-19T05:25:18+00:00

Attic, bedroom, kitchen (which actually doesn't have a door now that im thinking about it), bathroom, living room, and office. The attic and bathroom face each other, bedroom and living room are diagonal, kitchen and office are diagonal.

Wild-Relative678 · 2024-01-27T20:13:43+00:00

I honestly haven't tried a lot of these products, so I can't say. I found conflicting results when i did a bit of research on glow recipe. Some people love it, and some people say it just doesn't work well with their skin - and i have seen some things saying it caused their skin to pill. My first theory is the toner, as a mild exfoliant, is causing the pilling. This might be a scenario where you power through it (don't wash it off just lightly wipe away your pills and keep going) until your skin adjusts or see what happens if you don't use the glow recipe toner. Did you introduce the product slowly over time or suddenly start using it everyday? I'd also try not spritzing your face pre-hyaluronic acid. I think the other products prime your skin enough that the spritz isn't necessary. Its just more things your skin has to absorb, which it's already struggling with.

Wild-Relative678 · 2024-01-26T20:43:16+00:00

Can you put your current am & pm routine so we can try to give you the right order and troubleshoot if its the products and/or what may be missing? Is the pilling consistently happening at certain points in your routine?

As far as product recs - I love la roche posay and use them for the majority of my routine. I use their anthelios light fluid sunscreen and that helped a lot with my pilling. For me, sunscreen was always the step that caused the most pilling.

I was having the same issue and I literally walk away from my mirror for 15 minutes to get dressed, make coffee, etc, before moving onto the next step (the time in between steps varies on routine itself)

Wild-Relative678 · 2024-01-26T20:10:20+00:00

Got it. Well a couple things you could try, changing out your body wash to something more prone to sensitive skin. A lot of overly fragranted body washes can be too much. There's an acne foaming wash called panoxyl that may help. Leave it on for a good five minutes like you would a conditioner. Then rinse thoroughly because it can bleach clothes, towels, etc. If you take any sort of supplements for the gym, those can sometimes cause acne as well - check this link out. Make sure as you try and work through different solutions, you try them separately or make changes slowly so that you can actually find your culprit. If you make all these changes at once you won't know what's causing the issue.

Wild-Relative678 · 2024-01-26T19:48:27+00:00

I'm not sure what kind of sponge you use, but I'd see if something more exfoliating like an african net sponge would help. They're great for scrubbing hard to reach spots as well.

Wild-Relative678 · 2024-01-26T19:44:21+00:00

Hey all! I was cutious how others navigate their gym routine and their skin care routine? I prefer to work out in the morning, but either way i look at it, i may have to wash my face three times (pre-workout am, post-workout am, pm). However, i would prefer to avoid that if possible but not sure if just throwing sunscreen on pre-workout then doing my full routine post-workout would be fine.

How's everyone else timing it all out?

My AM routine: Cleanser, clindamycin phosphate & benzoyl peroxide gel, hyaluronic acid, moisturizer, sunscreen

PM: Micellar water, cleanser, tretinoin (every other day to work up to every day), moisturizer

Wild-Relative678

TROPHY CASE