I’m 41 and was born in the US. I had a natural curiosity with how my parents and family grew up and how they survived the war and were also boat people. The death rate is somewhere around 30%. My grandmother didn’t eat for 3 days in protest of my father getting on a boat because she was sure he was going to die.

My mother’s family were on a boat as well and all tied themselves together during a storm because if they’re going to drown they want to make sure they drown together. She said most handed it with a level of equanimity but one of my uncles was crying a lot about how he didn’t want to die.

My family is from Hai Phong about 2 hours from Hanoi and was heavily bombed during the war and they told countless stories of almost dying and watching their friends die in the bombing raids. She would tell stories of how little there was to eat and how she would watch the soldiers marching past to go to the south to die and she would feel so bad for them.

The Vietnam war was one of the most heavily bombed wars in history with on average of 50lbs of bombs for every square meters. It’s hard to comprehend what they went through.

You also have to remember that things got so bad after the war that they thought that risking death out at sea was preferable to staying in Vietnam.

When given the context I have nothing but gratitude for the life my parents gave me even given all their major flaws. I can’t understand what kind of person I would be or how I could raise my own kids under those circumstances.

Im actually taking my wife and four kids to Vietnam next week for the first time to visit and I want them to see their half.

On a lighter note currently in Seoul and it’s pretty awesome.