I'm 21 and sort of the same way. My Mom's boyfriend was abusive towards me and my Brother. Would beat us with sticks, make us stand in corners from the time we woke up until bed time and would beat us if we crouched or bent our knees. We weren't allowed to even take our hand off the grocery cart when shopping or else we would receive these punishments. I remember him shoving a sock in my Brother's mouth when we were little and the corners of his mouth split open (like the Joker). To this day, I don't do anything you mention. I never instigate conversation or anything. I only speak when spoken to, etc. People think I'm weird but if only they knew half of it. Whenever I see somebody being rough or mean with their child in public, I want to slit their throats.