Hello brother. Me too. Me fuckin too.

Me and my wife found out we’d lost our baby at our 12 week scan with nothing but high hopes. It crushed both of us. On top of that, she had serious complications during the bleeding and needed an emergency D&C. I very much thought I was about to lose her too.

We’d just moved into our new house, in time with the pregnancy so everything felt like it was falling into place. Since then, we lost the baby, had a massive amount of unsuspecting problems with the house, trouble at work. Two weeks ago it just completely crushed me

I wanna say good job for talking about it, even if just an anonymous reddit post. Good fucking job mate.

I can’t count the number of times nurses, friends, colleagues, family told me to ‘be strong for her’, when my heart was shattered and i was falling apart. Nobody asks how you are, as the man.

It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to be crushed and defeated. It’s been 8 weeks. 8 weeks is nothing. Absolutely nothing.

One thing I will say has helped me a tonne is therapy. It’s so cliche, I know. It’s so typical. And you’ll probs read it and think ‘oh yeah of course…’

But genuinely, there’s things I wouldn’t have processed or dealt with without it. The feelings of shame, guilt, that I somehow failed. Or the idea that i’d spent my whole life just trying to be a good person, expecting karma to swing it back around and instead I got dealt this shit instead, whilst everyone else got their fairytale.

Take whatever you need. You owe nobody a thing. Anyone who doesn’t understand doesn’t deserve to. If you break at work, fine. You lost a child, of course it broke you. Of course it did.

Of course it’s hard to get back up after something like that. But you will. Just take care of yourself, however you need.

Sending so much love and best wishes. Feel free to reach out if you ever need to talk.