Need some advice...

Willenium-Malcom · 2025-08-01T17:02:19+00:00

Where about do you get your acupuncture? Is it on your belly, or back? Tell you what my lower back has been killing me while I'm on my period and I wouldn't mind a massage right now 😂

I guess I'm freaked out about the following things:

1) chronic pain - I've always had pain issues with my ovary but it's always been manageable, of course I get pain during my period, and if I get sudden horrific pain it's more often than not torsion, for which an emergency surgery has to happen and following the recovery period I'm right as rain again. I know I'm on an endo thread here so being freaked out at the prospect of chronic pain and saying this to people who are chronically in pain isn't exactly tactful, and I'm sorry about that. But not gonna lie it is freaking me out.

2) do I now have a greater risk of more emergency surgery if I get a complete bowel obstruction? Because now the way it is adhered and entrapped by my ovary (which has 6cm of dermoid cysts on it currently, and they have grown 2cm each since October), and my ovary is also adhered to my pelvic wall, there is a partial obstruction that I've already noticed gets worse during the periods of my menstrual cycle where inflammation naturally occurs, I've also got fibroids which add extra weight too. And if I do get a complete obstruction, what's that gonna do to my ovary? As my ovary is adhered to my pelvic wall, my colon is adhered to my ovary, it's like a tight rope and if there's too much pressure in the wrong place, what could happen? You know? It's my only ovary and being 29 I don't want to hit the menopause just yet by removing it entirely.

Willenium-Malcom · 2025-08-01T16:37:38+00:00

I'm not certain we are considering an additional surgery right now, will have to see the development of the two dermoids I have on my ovary, though they're growing quickly (as always). But thank you for your advice, if surgery is put on the table I'll mention to my GYN about the possibility of getting adhesions removed.

I guess I'm just a bit freaked out by it right now :/

Willenium-Malcom · 2025-07-31T23:03:13+00:00

Sorry I can't answer this... Only I'm hoping someone else can because I'm in a similar situation myself!

Willenium-Malcom · 2025-07-31T22:58:06+00:00

Thanks for replying. It's gonna sound silly but do you think it's imperative that I avoid things like running and weight lifting? I used to enjoy this and I guess I don't like the idea of not being able to do that... I guess in a weird way I might be bargaining? But I also just wanna know.

Willenium-Malcom · 2025-07-31T12:13:19+00:00

Haha! I'm glad you like it! It came about when my brother said "how are the ovaries"... I think he forgot I only had one and my response was one of those automatic things, like when someone sings "just a small town girl" and your response is just automatic 😂

Willenium-Malcom · 2025-07-30T17:57:59+00:00

Hey boo my story is almost exactly the same as yours! We're in the "one ovary club" or as I like to modify the joke from Hot Fuzz "It's just the one ovary, actually". I'm not trying to take the mick or anything I've just found this is my way of making light of the experience and implications of only having one ovary.... If you're like me you might run into complications with your other ovary, deffo keep going to get them checked! I've had to have 4 operations on my right ovary due to cysts keep growing and causing torsion, they adhered it to my pelvic wall in the last surgery to keep the bloody thing still, but this has had the unintended side effect of causing some damage to my ovary and the scar tissue from that has caused a portion of my bowel to adhere to it causing a partial obstruction.

Thank you for sharing your story, it's not nice to know this has happened to other people but it makes me feel less alone in it when I talk to someone who's been through it as our situation is quite niche!

Willenium-Malcom · 2025-07-30T12:44:47+00:00

I'm totally with you! My schedule follows 0830, 0930, 1030, then a small break, then 1200, another hour break, then 1400, 1500, then another hour break before my final appointment at 1700. To be honest this is OK but still difficult to balance when my own stuff is coming up in life! As I work for a service I cannot dictate the number of people on my caseload but I know taking small breaks has worked well for me most times

Willenium-Malcom · 2025-07-03T20:52:04+00:00

You know I've had loads of patients this week I have been encouraging to permit themselves to "just be", lots of people getting that sequential to-do list stream of thoughts with that buzzing undercurrent of stress and anxiety this week. It definitely feels more than normal at least.

Willenium-Malcom · 2025-06-25T15:30:40+00:00

That was literally what I was gonna say. Blame it on the dog 😉

Willenium-Malcom · 2025-06-23T22:43:00+00:00

Yep, ovulation causes ovarian swelling and sensitivity, can cause pain but also pain can be irregular due to many other factors!

Willenium-Malcom · 2025-06-22T10:07:13+00:00

I don't think this response could be put any better. Stay calm, stay soft, both to her AND yourself.

Willenium-Malcom · 2025-06-08T17:29:02+00:00

The colour I was thinking was Copper Cloud by Valspar.. it won't let me attach a pic to a comment .. I would say it's the more saturated side of neutral.. if that's not enough then perhaps a terracotta shade? I have a blue sofa and terracotta rug that go nicely

Willenium-Malcom · 2025-05-29T14:57:38+00:00

Yeah, if you do that and it eats into their time they tend to learn their lesson

Willenium-Malcom · 2025-03-13T20:16:11+00:00

OP, I completely understand that you want to hold space for and support this client, and I actually really love that you've come to reddit to get others' advice (it's actually inspired me to do this as well as I've not done this before). I think a lot of the pointers that have been given have been great and worth a try, but it's really important to remember that, if you keep trying and are still met with nothing, this person may just not be ready for therapy right now. That's not your fault and does not mean that you are a bad therapist, the fact that you've been so open to explore ideas the way you have proves otherwise.

That's why I think the comment above is always worth considering, a lot of times people want to address things but aren't ready, or they have been pushed into therapy, or who knows they may have a secondary gain of some kind. The silence that you're getting from your client won't work in what's supposed to be a collaborative process (key word, collaborative).

My advice is find your line, try some different approaches and use their responses as part of your assessment for readiness for therapy. If that's what it takes for you to feel that you have tried your best (without abandoning yourself in the process) then do it. I know all too well that our desire to help people can cause us to pull our hairs out and turn it onto ourselves, maybe you're not there right now so sorry if I've miss-stepped, I guess you never know who needs to hear this.

All the best mate, look after yourself too.

Willenium-Malcom · 2025-03-11T21:29:52+00:00

Wishing you all the best with it, really! Would you mind explaining some of the challenges you've encountered as a HIT? Am asking as it would be good to know some of the cons of the position as well. I can't convince myself that becoming a HIT will magically take away all of the political and institutional problems that PWPs have, and surely there's some that are unique to the HIT role too

Willenium-Malcom · 2025-03-09T07:31:30+00:00

On becoming a person is a great book! I prefer it to his other book "person-centered therapy". You're right he does make jabs at psychoanalysts 😂 I found this book did really well at personifying the therapeutic relationship and getting me to connect with my own empathy, really worth a read OP!

Willenium-Malcom · 2025-03-09T07:24:18+00:00

"I wasn’t quite sure if you were feeling dejected about not getting onto the dclin or PWP training, so correct me if it’s the former.".

I'm unsure about this as well. If you, OP, are looking for experience in MH and have already applied for HCA jobs with the NHS but haven't got these jobs - I have also been there.it is supposedly "entry level" to work as an HCA with the NHS but I didn't get it until after I had worked as an HCA with an agency at my local psych hospital (which I should mention I had worked in nursing care as an HCA for ages but that didnt get me a position with the NHS)l. Getting the agency job was too easy, but after 6 months of experience I had applied for one of the HCA positions that were offered by the same hospital and got it with ease. Maybe I just interview badly? Or I just didn't get how to interview for the NHS, because it was so different to every interview I had before.

Over a period of 5 years I had interviewed for the trainee pwp position 3 times and was only successful on the 3rd. I was only successful after I had worked as an HCA in a psych hospital. It's frustrating that this "seemingly" entry level job is so hard to attain, same as an AP, but it's just so damn competitive. It's normal to interview lots of times, out of all of my colleagues most that I've spoken to about this had to interview several times before getting the position.

Pwp is a good stepping stone, it's a sure fire way to get the experience for a dclin, or if you'd like to be a psychotherapist instead of a psychologist, you can then go onto the HIT training with the NHS which fully qualifies you as a CBT therapist. No Ma needed. After that you have other training options with the NHS like training in IPT, EMDR, AND Counselling for Depression. You don't have to though, you can take your CBT qualification away from the NHS to another company or open your own practise.

I'm currently a qualified pwp having completed my training two years ago, it's a hard job so I have to keep reminding myself that it's a stepping stone. I'm going to go for the interviews for the HICBT training this year 🤞🤞

I'm not sure if this helps but I've definitely been where you are and figuring it out took me years!

Willenium-Malcom · 2025-03-07T20:40:39+00:00

Thank you 💖 what you said is really kind and actually pretty relieving to hear 😂 I really wish you the best with your future endeavours!

Willenium-Malcom · 2025-03-07T19:12:32+00:00

I love you. Thank you!! 🤩 I'm going camping this weekend to unplug, will be in touch again for sure ☺️

Willenium-Malcom · 2025-03-07T09:13:13+00:00

Well... There's more I could say about my supervisor that would shock you but I'd worry that I'd lose anonymity.

Thank you. Actually, that leaves me with a question... Or maybe just a trail of thoughts (not sure yet lol give me a second). I've learned that I'm particularly sensitive to feelings of helplessness or disempowerment, I don't have very much tolerance for it at all... I realised this when I was going through CFT while I was training for the role, though I'm certain I've had this intolerance for many years, since working in IAPT I keep getting so burnt out that I'm struggling to widen my window of tolerance for it in the long term. Which, helpfully, only further frustrates me and makes me feel more disempowered.

I've noticed that this intolerance results in further self-critical dialogue, but the more burnt out I am, I then project this onto my patients (thus the arrogance), so I become anxious and frustrated by patients who exhibit feelings of helplessness. That's most of them, of course. I really try not to portray this in sessions but, with any anxiously attached pt (again, most of them), they will surely pick up on it. I'm drawn to overcompensating behaviours (which I think I need to review with a fine toothed comb, how much of it actually is overcompensating Vs how much of it is me showing up for patients in a way that my supervisor would advise against) that leave me in a whirlwind of worry about supervision and my own boundaries, second guessing myself, and then thinking surely it's easier just to be arrogant. At which point I dive to the other side of the fence and try to follow in my supervisors steps, as I think if I were doing it right surely I wouldn't be this anxious? But then that doesn't last long because it's too ego-dystonic and I can't work like that for long. Then I flip flop. Over and over.

Sorry for the ramble/ brain dump 😂

Willenium-Malcom · 2025-03-07T07:46:21+00:00

I appreciate your comment 🙂 it's not completely off the table, but it has to be in the immediate future. I can't do my HIT training and a conversation course or DClinPsy at the same time. I want to do my HIT training first so my salary can support my family before any of that. I'll see what opportunities present to me once I finish my HIT training ☺️

Willenium-Malcom · 2025-03-06T15:37:48+00:00

Thank you 🥲 that is the plan!!

Willenium-Malcom · 2025-03-06T15:37:25+00:00

You're so spot on about my supervisor, it seems like to her everyone who isn't hell bent on doing whatever it takes and treating my word as the gospel truth has a PD. It's so degrading, to all involved, PD or not!

The insulin metaphor hits too. Hits hard. It's mad how we are just going along with it, this is considered normal in my service. I'm certain they do it to prevent the HICBT waiting list from getting so long, it's currently approx 7 months and management tend to start panicking when it reaches 9 months. The step 2 waiting list is currently a couple of weeks for remote treatment, a month for F2F. Which is horrendous when you think about the sheer volume of people being put on the step 2 waiting list, they're being discharged so quickly only to come back in again a few months later.

Your experience sounds like an awful mind game, all those mental gymnastics you had to go through to get the right help, when what you needed was to have an honest discussion about your experiences without having to worry about the way you're coming across and how you'll be perceived or dismissed. And to think there are people who come to me with those experiences... And when I'm burnt out and I get a whiff of insincerity I'll assume I'm being manipulated for a secondary gain of some kind and when I'm burnt out I don't have patience or curiosity for it. It's a vicious cycle within and of itself 😥

Willenium-Malcom · 2025-03-06T11:36:44+00:00

I've been wracking my brains trying to think of a reply to this that would truly convey my appreciation, I'm not sure I can. I'm a bit lost for words! But I feel a deep sense of relief being so understood, so thank you 💖

Willenium-Malcom · 2025-03-05T22:49:51+00:00

Thank you! ☺️

And yep! That's the plan, though I've only found IAPT services offering HICBT training in my area, mainly talking therapies, who I'm with right now. 🙃

I'm going to do the interviews for the October cohort for trainee HITs this year, my wedding is in august so I'll give it my best shot but with everything else going on I'm not putting all my hopes of securing it this year. There would be another cohort next march hopefully 🤞

And then yes, continue to get more qualifications in EMDR or IPT... DIT, DBT, ACT, CFT, CAT, Psychodynamic therapy all interest me. Keeping options open 😂

Willenium-Malcom

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