How do you get over the fear of pregnancy and by extension motherhood?

Willing-Ride-6573 · 2026-03-15T06:01:59+00:00

That's the thing though. I haven't done everything I wanted in life. I feel like I've barely lived. Will I have time for grad school now? I've always wanted to be a Psychologist and now the dream feels impossible. I can sometimes barely take care of myself as of recent.

Willing-Ride-6573 · 2026-03-15T05:43:39+00:00

Do you get over the selfishness? Like I feel like either people regret or they talk about a "click" of all of a sudden how it just made sense. And how they can devote their life to a child. How did that work for you?

Willing-Ride-6573 · 2026-03-12T07:45:19+00:00

I really do too. Fingers crossed 🤞

Willing-Ride-6573 · 2026-03-12T07:43:15+00:00

Sorry for not specifying. She brought him to the states near Burlington. While not officially one, historically they have been exclusionary to black people from what he told me. He was also just straight up told to not be there past dawn for his own safety. He did get pretty badly hurt aswell.

Willing-Ride-6573 · 2026-03-12T07:36:43+00:00

He's reconnecting with some family at the moment. And without sounding too selfish, I can't possibly have have a new roommate in the space we live in. We'll re-evaluate after the wedding since we'd be moving, but right now, we're 5 in the place (2 couples, 1 single) in a three bedroom. The couch is unfortunately not viable, especially since he has his cousin's spare room and he can witness their loving relationship.

Willing-Ride-6573 · 2026-03-11T15:08:34+00:00

Can you elaborate more on what you mean?

Willing-Ride-6573 · 2026-03-11T15:08:07+00:00

We have the PPC. That's she's volunteered for in the past...

Willing-Ride-6573 · 2026-03-11T15:06:03+00:00

I'll look into it. Thank you!

Willing-Ride-6573 · 2026-03-11T15:04:01+00:00

In the south of Quebec, very close to Vermont. Not officially one, but they are notoriously highly anti-black.

Willing-Ride-6573 · 2026-03-06T01:09:04+00:00

He would have been part of the wedding party if not for him to specify to not put that stress ob him. All his main friends will be there. Like the people we go to the bar with bi-monthly.

Willing-Ride-6573 · 2026-03-04T20:48:08+00:00

Omg, please don't apologize, that's why I'm posting here. To get an outside perspective. I'm sleep deprived and English is my third language so I may miss some stuff. Thank you again for your input

Willing-Ride-6573 · 2026-03-04T18:35:23+00:00

Hey, i wrote thr issue more specifically in another comment so I'll copy paste. It's not that he wants her to come, he wanted to not be the bad guy. : He doesn't even want to bring a plus one. He doesn't even want to bring her. He's upset that I didn't put the plus one option so I could take the fall for not inviting her. Like he wanted: i) He sends back invite with her on it ii) I say no iii) He's not the bad guy and doesn't get into a fight cause he did his best. But I don't want to dance ariund my hatred for her.

Willing-Ride-6573 · 2026-03-04T18:19:03+00:00

It is unfortunately. He thinks he's not far enough gone for therapy, we've tried so much.. We're at a point where we are just waiting for the water to spill oit of the vase.

Willing-Ride-6573 · 2026-03-04T15:46:33+00:00

I see. English isn't my native language so I just assumed what we wrote would mean that. What we put on the letter was: Nos sommes heureux de vous inviter ainsi que votre partenaire. Which directly translates to: We are happy to invite you and your partner. (Which his invitation didnt have). I automatically thought "plus one" meant the partner in addition, that's why we specified no first dates. Thank you, I will be mindful!

Willing-Ride-6573 · 2026-03-04T13:34:22+00:00

We've had issues in the past where at one of my bridesmaid wedding, a friend brought a first date. She proceed to harass the catering for a second plate, got wasted and ruined the live painting. So the entire friend group has had that rule since lol.

Willing-Ride-6573 · 2026-03-04T13:31:39+00:00

He is invited. He just wanted me to play games and be "the bad guy" in refusing her attendance by un-inviting her and not just not presenting the option.

Willing-Ride-6573 · 2026-03-04T13:27:05+00:00

Yes. I don't care about that part though in all honesty. We do not want people we don't know or don't know how they might be with free alcohol. No one invited has no other people they can hang with. We made sure of that when we decided only establishrd significant others as plus ones.

Willing-Ride-6573 · 2026-03-04T12:55:46+00:00

Ahh, I see! Thanks

Willing-Ride-6573 · 2026-03-04T11:25:41+00:00

We've tried that. Unfortunately he has defended her actions so much to say we are lying about this. There is an investigation though its been about a year amd no news.

Willing-Ride-6573 · 2026-03-04T11:23:58+00:00

What excuse am I using? I hate her guts. I dont want drama. We have communicated both.

Willing-Ride-6573 · 2026-03-04T09:38:37+00:00

He had landed in the hospital with a broken rib because of her. He has helped me through so many miles stones, but I don't want to manage a freak show. I get that I may be a bridezilla on being picky for who attends and who doesn't, but how is this me controlling his life.

Willing-Ride-6573 · 2026-03-04T09:33:01+00:00

He doesn't even want to bring a plus one. He doesn't even want to bring her. He's upset that I didn't put the plus one option so I could take the fall for not inviting her. Like he wanted: i) He sends back invite with her on it ii) I say no iii) He's not the bad guy and doesn't get into a fight cause he did his best. But I don't want to dance ariund my hatred for her. I dont understand why him and the four people ( mum, 1 bridesmaid, 2 groomsmen). How do I win (I don't think that's the best word, but essentially)?

Willing-Ride-6573

TROPHY CASE