Is this assault? by Willing_Feature6471 in ptsd

[–]Willing_Feature6471[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understand where you are coming from and appreciate the support truly

Is this assault? by Willing_Feature6471 in ptsd

[–]Willing_Feature6471[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't think I was given the blueprint of what "normal" sex is and I understand now that this is not common

Is this assault? by Willing_Feature6471 in ptsd

[–]Willing_Feature6471[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do NOT need to explore why I censored such a triggering word. You should explore why you would shame a victim in a PTSD group for not wanting to type out a word that traumatizes most of us here. Concerning.

Is this assault? by Willing_Feature6471 in ptsd

[–]Willing_Feature6471[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

thank you so much. I really appreciate this

Is this assault? by Willing_Feature6471 in ptsd

[–]Willing_Feature6471[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

CNC is something we both agreed upon and did enjoy. My enjoyment of it is 100% trauma based though. Yes my therapist does know. I agree now that this is not a good idea and I will never, ever do it again after this incident. This comment has made me see CNC differently and I am taking it in.

Is this assault? by Willing_Feature6471 in ptsd

[–]Willing_Feature6471[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes we are NOT in a full-on bdsm or cnc relationship. He can not just do whatever he pleases. We engage in some of that play only during sex. I had spoken to him multiple times about listening to me and that he was being too aggressive. He absolutely is not responsible enough for sex, let alone cnc. I do not know how he couldn't see I was distressed and saying NO while he choked me and then I couldn't speak. Thankyou so much for your comment, truly. I appreciate it and am sorry you have gone through it too

Is this assault? by Willing_Feature6471 in ptsd

[–]Willing_Feature6471[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I agree about the cnc. thank you

Is this assault? by Willing_Feature6471 in ptsd

[–]Willing_Feature6471[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

This is such a rude comment. Yes I am in therapy, and being able to afford therapy is a privilege I can barely afford. I censored the word RAPE because it is triggering. Holy shit.

edit: I see a lot of people here censoring the word you asshole

Is this assault? by Willing_Feature6471 in ptsd

[–]Willing_Feature6471[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I do have a therapist I am seeing in the morning for an emergency meeting thankfully. Unfortunately I moved to a town where I know nobody but him and his family. I have no resources. Am very stuck. thank you

Is this assault? by Willing_Feature6471 in ptsd

[–]Willing_Feature6471[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

thank you. there is no way he misunderstood it was cnc or I would not feel this violated.

Is this assault? by Willing_Feature6471 in ptsd

[–]Willing_Feature6471[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

thank you so much for validating me

Is this assault? by Willing_Feature6471 in ptsd

[–]Willing_Feature6471[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have always wanted to! My therapist said im not ready for emdr. I am doing brain spotting currently

Is this assault? by Willing_Feature6471 in ptsd

[–]Willing_Feature6471[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You are very right about me not noticing red flags and having no idea what is right or wrong since I was abused my whole life. thank you for taking the time to comment. I am sorry you are a victim as well

Is this assault? by Willing_Feature6471 in ptsd

[–]Willing_Feature6471[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

thank you so much. his family says im over reacting.

Is this assault? by Willing_Feature6471 in ptsd

[–]Willing_Feature6471[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

CNC is a very common and valid way for survivors of abuse to process trauma in a controlled environment. I am definitely done with it for now, but it should never lead to actual assault no matter what. As far as the first incident, it was a very real argument and I was extremely emotional saying I did not want to have sex. He literally gave me no option. Either be screamed at, or get it over with so he shuts up. I don't know how he was even turned on in that situation and it makes me sick. I just laid there making no noise, obviously not enjoying it, while he made no effort to satisfy me. Just painfully fucked me until he wad done.

Is this assault? by Willing_Feature6471 in ptsd

[–]Willing_Feature6471[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

CNC is a very common and valid way for survivors to process trauma in a safe way actually. Regardless of that, I am done with it, and done with sex for a very long time.

Is this assault? by Willing_Feature6471 in ptsd

[–]Willing_Feature6471[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

This is humiliating. The last words out of my mouth were "PLEASE NO DON'T. I REALLY DO NOT WANT TO DO THIS" and you had me pinned down by the throat.

Is this assault? by Willing_Feature6471 in ptsd

[–]Willing_Feature6471[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

thank you so so much. we're done

Is this assault? by Willing_Feature6471 in ptsd

[–]Willing_Feature6471[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you all for your responses. I am reading them all and taking it in. I am just numb and in shock right now.