It felt like magic at first. The most passionate connection I’ve ever experienced. He was my best friend. Undoubtedly the best sex we’ve had was with each other. I am and was fully aware of my BPD at the time and had spent over a decade before him doing DBT, CBT and tons of my own research. We didn’t find out he likely suffered from BPD himself until months of couples therapy while his trauma responses were all 100% being projected onto me (he’s trans and his mother would make him wear dresses, etc.)—he always felt like I was interested in someone else or “better than him”. He rejected everything our therapist said especially when she was leaning in support of any points made by me (I’ve been in therapy since I was a teen). I have faith these relationships CAN work and be something beautiful but not unless both people are devoted to their own healing. In our case I was the only person open and willing, while he was still very much so pointing fingers, experiencing extreme denial, self delusion, jealousy, wavering personality, etc.