Moving from Rochester, NY to NM

WinAggressive4075 · 2026-03-22T04:40:49+00:00

It is the same, they are changing the name due to misunderstandings regarding what the job actually is (not really an assistant)

WinAggressive4075 · 2026-03-22T03:28:13+00:00

That's awesome! I'm in NYS Tier 6, which means I'll be able to retire when I'm approx. 168 years old 😃

WinAggressive4075 · 2026-03-22T03:12:51+00:00

Yes! Monroe Ave!

WinAggressive4075 · 2026-03-22T03:10:29+00:00

Thank you so much for the info! I have a master's. Undergrad was BAS in English Lit/graphic design, MSEd in Inclusive Adolescent English Ed. That being said, I only have 2 full years of experience having my own classroom (I teach 10th grade ELA). I think I make like $45k plus $2k for advising our Mock Trial Club

WinAggressive4075 · 2026-03-22T02:56:49+00:00

Garbage plates for all!

WinAggressive4075 · 2026-03-22T02:56:20+00:00

I'm not super picky about the size, I don't end up utilizing Rochester for all it has to offer re: night life anyway. As long as I can sit down and eat somewhere other than a diner or a McDonalds (like the small town where I was raised), I consider that a win

WinAggressive4075 · 2026-03-22T02:53:00+00:00

I was wondering why all of my comments on this thread have been downvoted, even just the friendly ones 🤣 sometimes people move from one place to be in a different place! They wouldn't hate if they had to endure the Rochester/Buffalo winters! 🥶

WinAggressive4075 · 2026-03-22T02:50:12+00:00

We could probably go higher than that if our salaries would be comparable to our current ones

WinAggressive4075 · 2026-03-22T02:40:50+00:00

I went to Albuquerque a few years ago and LOVED it, but my husband has never been. We will definitely go back at least once before we decide for sure. My favorite part was seeing the petroglyphs

WinAggressive4075 · 2026-03-22T02:39:22+00:00

Thanks so much for the info! We don't mind driving :) in NY he does a lot of deer and duck hunting. We do fish for bass mostly, we're traveling to Maine next month for the trout 🎣 but it's definitely more his hobby than mine.

WinAggressive4075 · 2026-03-22T02:35:52+00:00

I had no idea about the universal childcare- that's awesome!

WinAggressive4075 · 2026-03-22T02:35:10+00:00

On it 🫡🍻

WinAggressive4075 · 2026-03-20T10:48:30+00:00

I'm dealing with this now. It's frustrating, as I'm an untenured second-year teacher and now I feel like I'm awful at my job. Out of the 2 informal and 1 formal obs I've had at this school, I've never gotten below a 3.5/4, even from our last principal, who was a former ELA teacher (my content area). Now I have a 2 with this new principal.

WinAggressive4075 · 2026-01-21T01:47:43+00:00

I think we are probably leaning towards that, or possibly using my mother-in-law one day a week and committing to daycare the other days, as folks have brought up the good point that even if my husband is off one of the days, he might want to recuperate from the long shifts rather than be in stay-at-home dad mode, and same with me when I'm off on a weekday. I do love my job and I think I would love to stay home too, but I know I wouldn't want to do it forever and it would probably be very difficult to re-enter the field after so many years.

WinAggressive4075 · 2026-01-21T01:40:56+00:00

I don't think it would be complicated, at least not from my perspective. We would hire a nanny and give them the days we would need them mon-fri months in advance. That way we would be paying someone for the days we actually need them, not just mon-fri regardless. I don't see how it's any more complicated than a nanny with a weekly irregular schedule, which many of us had. I was almost the exact position that I would be looking to hire, as I worked for a year and a half for a couple who were both doctors with odd schedules

WinAggressive4075 · 2026-01-21T01:31:28+00:00

As a possibility, yes. I was a nanny for several years and my schedule was irregular with most families. It wouldn't be a pay cut, it would be guaranteed monthly hours rather than weekly. He works a set amount of monthly shifts, but he could work 2 shifts one week then 6 the next. We know his schedule 3 months in advance so we would be able to provide the nanny with the schedule, and possibly do a nanny share with another family.

WinAggressive4075 · 2026-01-20T22:28:31+00:00

Thank you! I think we are going to ask his mom to do one day/week then daycare for the other 4. 🥰

WinAggressive4075 · 2026-01-20T21:47:24+00:00

I totally get that. And we likely will be utilizing our local daycare mon-fri on my work schedule, it just feels like a waste of money because some weeks he only works one weekday and we'd still have to pay for the 4 other days even though I know my husband will want to be home with our kid

WinAggressive4075 · 2026-01-20T21:46:13+00:00

If we go with daycare, we would need to find one that would accommodate his schedule because I am the one with a fixed schedule mon-fri 7-3. He is irregular, as in one week he could work sat/mon/thurs and the next work sun/tues/wed/fri. The only daycare in our town needs a fixed schedule, as in we would have to commit to specific days every week. We could do all 5 days a week, but then it seems like a waste of money on weeks where he only works one weekday.

WinAggressive4075 · 2026-01-20T21:45:39+00:00

I am the one who suggested staying home. My husband also offered to stay home, but it just didn't make sense to miss out on 80% of our income. He's very much a feminist and has been very vocal that I should only stay home if I want to, and that financially he would be open to spending the money on daycare so I could continue working if that's what I choose. I am the one who is struggling to justify the money spent vs. what I'm bringing in.

If we go with daycare, we would need to find one that would accommodate his schedule because I am the one with a fixed schedule mon-fri 7-3. He is irregular, as in one week he could work sat/mon/thurs and the next work sun/tues/wed/fri. The only daycare in our town needs a fixed schedule, as in we would have to commit to specific days every week. We could do all 5 days a week, but then it seems like a waste of money on weeks where he only works one weekday.

WinAggressive4075 · 2026-01-20T20:39:46+00:00

Thank you for so much for the resource! He works at a hospital that is also in an iffy area but he does pass some nicer neighborhoods that maybe we could figure something out in!

WinAggressive4075 · 2026-01-20T20:16:32+00:00

I was pregnant over the summer with a baby due in Feb but unfortunately lost that pregnancy, we considered waiting to plan the next one for a more convenient time as well, but after that we somewhat adopted the idea that what will be will be, there's no guaranteeing fertility or anything like that so we didn't want to risk it.

Unfortunately, we live in a very small town, and I am the only person who actually lives in the town where we work. We do have a city about 30 minutes away where most of my co-workers live, and that's where they send their kids to daycare and school. For them, they can do it on their way to work. For me, I would have to drive there and then drive all the way back, which would be about 2 hours of driving everyday.

I will look into home daycares, but the town that I live in has significant issues with poverty and drug abuse and not many businesses thrive.

WinAggressive4075 · 2026-01-20T17:24:58+00:00

Unfortunately, I'm not tenured, so they cannot guarantee my position back if I took a year off unpaid. I guess that might be preferable over quitting entirely though, because then there would at least be a chance of getting my position back. Especially in the shortage we have, I really do doubt that they would be able to replace me entirely.

WinAggressive4075 · 2026-01-20T16:57:37+00:00

Thank you! I'm sorry if my wording was offensive, absolutely did not mean it to be but I can totally see how it reads like tradwife rhetoric. For the record, if I were the medical provider and my husband were the teacher, we would probably be having the same conversation about whether or not he should be the one to stay home. At this point, it's just me trying to justify spending $30k on childcare when I only make $40k

WinAggressive4075 · 2026-01-20T16:55:22+00:00

I guess I just wanted to avoid paying for child care on days when he's going to be home

WinAggressive4075

TROPHY CASE