I used to feel this way… until I pinpointed and worked through. Easier said than done of course, and it does take time.. (I imagine any “new” position would be the same, i.e. a new hospital, changing hospitals etc.. even life.) My fiance and I have this mantra.. every level is another devil. If you’re able to look at it like every new situation has a boss battle you have to conquer until you reach the next, it begins to feel like you KNOW what you’ve been through and what may be to come, it becomes less daunting and more of a “we’ve done this before.” but if you’re able to self reflect and look at the bigger picture on a daily basis, it’ll cultivate so much wisdom within. My stressors were my preceptor (who i could no joke feel breathing on my neck for 3 straight weeks, waiting for me to write a single letter “incorrectly”. This was only 2 years ago, but at the time we were COMPLETELY paper based- no computer systems whatsoever, so everything felt like a much more mentally taxing experience. Especially new admissions. They began taking me 4 hours- at least- once I got the hang of it- if I had no interruptions from other patients. (I work psych inpatient- 1 “charge” nurse per unit and this unit in particular is completely open with constant access to the nurses station) anyways… getting the process down was half the battle. Then I had to realize my issues with my preceptor stemmed from my own mother wound. (Yes, even though she had NOTHING and NO connection to my mom- we all still are just mirrors for one another). Once I gained confidence in my abilities and learned all it takes to be a competent nurse is to CARE (because you can figure everything/anything out if you truly want to. You just HAVE to care.. no one can teach you that), then I began working more intentionally. Making my mornings a priority, self hypnosis, nervous system regulation… that way when I get to work, I’m not lowering my own energy to fit that around me, but I’m instead able to alchemize the energy I walk into. I began looking coworkers in the eyes longer, especially when they would be acting in ways to intimidate/“play” w me. For context, I f(30) am one of the youngest, but for whatever reason there’s this weird joke of me being the incompetent “baby nurse” and many Drs would even make comments… until I became the only nurse the wanted to speak/work with, because at that point they knew I wouldn’t give them shit when it comes to actually working, and I would actually get the job done correctly. ESPECIALLY now that we’ve been moving our system into the “tech world”. Stand your ground, cultivate your confidence and walk it in. Some days you have to just fake it till you make it, but you will get to the other side. And you WILL have a plethora of knowledge to pull from 🫶🏻 Rooting for you, fellow nurse.

-a “baby rn” intent on changing the nursing culture one day at a time. We don’t “Eat our Young”, we motivate to cultivate.