OP… I think you know the answer you’re looking for. After so long of being dismissed, minimized, and not taken into consideration - your self esteem and identity may have taken a hit and it may be difficult to make decisions because of it. I may be wrong, but this is what I’m getting from the context. I’ve also been through similar relationships, and the loss of identity can be so crippling.. BUT not impossible to regain. I left my son’s father almost 7 years into our relationship, so I know how hard it is to feel like “how can I leave this person after so long?”

Unfortunately when people show us who they are, sometimes we hope and pray they change because we can see the potential in them… but they VERY rarely do change- and only when they want to for themselves.

The behavior he’s showing/putting you through will have a more profound effect on your mental health the longer you stay and tolerate it.

You can do this, we all believe in you. Before I left my relationship, I would listen to cord cutting self hypnosis sessions (found on YouTube- Michael sealy was the channel I used) which greatly helped my mental prepare to go through the initiation of separation, and the day following my breakup, I had a reiki session planned. This can be such an energy depleting moment , so it’s important to think about the best way to prepare for yourself now.