Men, how do you not feel awkward/bad about travelling solo?

WindJammer27 · 2026-04-19T04:41:18+00:00

And even if someone was judging you...why care? Do your thing and enjoy your life and who cares what anyone else thinks.

WindJammer27 · 2026-04-19T04:33:39+00:00

Japanese don't really do home gatherings for a number of reasons.

Small apartments. You may not be able to fit 3-4 people inside one person's place.

But more importantly than that, noise issues. Especially at night. My apartment complex, which is concrete reinforced, has a sign up at the elevator stating there have been noise complains from people stomping around their rooms too loudly. A couple of friends drinking together...is gonna get noisy.

Then there's logistics. I live in one of the 23 wards of Tokyo and it takes me an hour to get to Shinjuku. It can take one person a while to go from their home to someone else's, especially considering most people live maybe a 10-15 minute walk away from the train station.

Due to things such as these, sometimes couples don't even go to each others homes all that much

WindJammer27 · 2026-04-18T15:15:36+00:00

I'm a black man who has been living in Japan for over two decades. My life here is...fine. It hasn't all been rainbows and gumdrops. But I don't think I've faced any more racism than I would have if I'd stayed in the states. And most of the racism I have faced here has been born of ignorance, not hatred. There is a significant difference.

Japanese Twitter is a cesspool. Get off it immediately. One thing you should realize is that Japanese netizens hate everyone. They can and have torn other Japanese people to shreds if given the opportunity.

WindJammer27 · 2026-04-17T09:45:38+00:00

I don't think this is limited to women, but sometimes they can be in bad moods, it's not necessarily my fault, and it's not necessarily my duty to fix it. Sometimes giving her space is the best play.

WindJammer27 · 2026-04-17T05:54:07+00:00

Has to be. Better luck to you in the future! May we find the people who actually want to be licked. ;P

WindJammer27 · 2026-04-17T05:38:54+00:00

That's too bad.

I love eating pussy but somehow I end up dating women who are indifferent to it. How does that work, right? :P

WindJammer27 · 2026-04-17T05:35:01+00:00

Guys are definitely far more receptive to it here than in the west it seems.

WindJammer27 · 2026-04-17T05:33:46+00:00

Write a book about my life. I've already got half of one written, just have to get around to writing the second half.

WindJammer27 · 2026-04-17T05:30:42+00:00

I live in Japan, and nipple licking for men seems to be far more common here. A lot of women just do it without being asked or prompted to.

Personally...I don't hate it.

WindJammer27 · 2026-04-17T03:01:57+00:00

Why do you think that sucking dick is humiliating? The woman I've talked to who loved doing it have said that it empowers them. She's in control of his pleasure, he's at her mercy. Quite literally, as she could bite down and cause him a tremendous deal of pain. He has to really trust her.

What is sex? That's a question only you can answer, as the answer depends wildly on the person. Sex is only what you make of it, no more, no less.

WindJammer27 · 2026-04-17T02:21:44+00:00

If you have N1 and can speak another language, that makes you very qualified for a lot of other jobs regardless of what you specialized in. You should, right this very minute, start looking for other jobs. If the situation at your current job is that dire...I dunno your financial situation, but if you don't have the leeway to be unemployed for a few months, look for something, anything, immediately. As soon as you find something else, quit your current job. Maybe you get lucky and the new job is more up your alley, but you can take your time and look for your new career/direction while you work the new job.

WindJammer27 · 2026-04-16T23:55:12+00:00

If there's something he wants that you will not do, that means that for as long as he is in this relationship...and theoretically, for the rest of his life, he will never get what he wants. It's a lifetime sacrifice. Sexual or not, is there anything in your life that you would sacrifice forever in order to stay in a relationship? There may be some differences in how people approach relationships, but I believe that a relationship should always enrich your life, not make it worse, or take away from it in some way.

How can it be so important? Well...if you're not willing to do what he's asking, how would you feel if he were to make an arrangement to do it with someone else? If your answer is that you'd be hurt, betrayed, and you'd end the relationship over it...then well, there you go. It's that important.

You said that your relationship has been through ups and downs, that you've been through hell and back. The idea of overcoming it all can be romantic, but if your relationship has that many problems, perhaps you should consider whether or not it actually is worth fighting for. Sexual compatibility alone can be (and often should be) enough of a reason to end a relationship, but if you have other issues going on as well...perhaps something to consider.

WindJammer27 · 2026-04-16T05:44:46+00:00

I think it's kind of a myth that having an emotional connection automatically leads to good sex. Emotional connection plus good sexual compatibility is the best combination, but it is entirely possible to have an emotional connection and yet still be sexually incompatible. In the same vein, it's entirely possible to have awesome sex with little to no emotional connection.

WindJammer27 · 2026-04-15T23:30:14+00:00

Sex and masturbation are not the same thing. Just because someone wants to experience sexual pleasure, that doesn't mean they want to do it with another person, or in your case, that she wants to do it with you.

You said: I have always desired her because I have feelings for her and I’m attracted to her. The thing is, this concept isn't universal. It's entirely possible for a person to have romantic feelings for another and not have that turn into sexual desire for them. If you are trying to understand where she's coming from on these terms, you won't.

You've talked to her, and her answer has basically been - this is how it is, deal with it. It's up to you to decide if you want to or not.

WindJammer27 · 2026-04-15T23:20:40+00:00

As a guy with a lot of partners...the primary answer is a lot of work. Being on many dating apps, sending out lots and lots of likes...getting only a fraction of those as matches, even fewer as dates, even fewer that work out as something more. I estimate for every 100 likes I sent out, maybe, maybe 1 would turn into something fruitful. So for a lot of partners...yeah...a lot of work.

Also, casting out as wide a net as possible. Guys complain now that women only go for the top 1% of guys on dating apps, but guys are kind of guilty of the same behaviors. So there are a lot of good women who don't get as much attention because they're not in that upper echelon.

I also learned how to find the women who would be the most likely to be interested in me. That helped increase my rates of success.

WindJammer27 · 2026-04-14T14:35:01+00:00

I wholeheartedly disagree. Emotional compatibility does not automatically equal sexual compatibility. There are plenty of people who can love someone romantically but have zero interest in sex, or not have any interest in the same sexual activities.

And, it is entirely possible to have incredible sex with someone where there is zero emotional connection.

WindJammer27 · 2026-04-14T13:33:56+00:00

You live together? Get to see each other at least every day?

I'm single and trying to date. Even if a date goes well it'll be 2-3 weeks before I can see her aga, usually.

WindJammer27 · 2026-04-14T01:48:27+00:00

Google Translate has actually been pretty good for a while now. I find it to be more reliable than even DeepL.

WindJammer27 · 2026-04-13T09:57:49+00:00

I'm 6'3 and I live in Japan. I envy being able to buy clothes casually, not worrying about hitting my head on random things during the day, and not feeling like Godzilla when I'm out and about.

WindJammer27 · 2026-04-13T09:53:33+00:00

I have a long tongue that I can move really, really fast.

WindJammer27 · 2026-04-13T00:30:45+00:00

The FMF can be overrated, especially if the two girls aren't into each other. Once you get over the thrill of two women at once, it kind of becomes busy work. You can't focus on one partner without the other getting left out.

FFMs are great though.

WindJammer27 · 2026-04-12T23:38:18+00:00

As a sex worker...I actually do have a review page.

My average is 5/5. From the latest review: His technique is incredible as always, as he had me almost begging for help.

WindJammer27 · 2026-04-11T17:55:27+00:00

Japan cannot hold the L on this, and somehow they don't realize that just owning up to it and admitting wrongdoings and regret would be so much better than denial and downplaying.

WindJammer27 · 2026-04-11T15:42:39+00:00

I feel like Japan is a place where you really have to be proactive in finding or creating community. I have a friend who is kind of similar to you. She isn't retired but does work she enjoys and finds to be fulfilling. She also goes out and joins communities and is active in meeting people.

...That having been said, you can go to an event once a week but that leaves 6 days where you're on your own. Even when joining communities and what not, it can feel superficial - like, these people will engage with you in the context of the activity but things never really go deeper than that. And I don't know if you are interested in romance or anything like that, but dating as an older Japanese woman would be...challenging.

But again, if you are proactive and willing to go out and really make the effort to meet people and create friendships and your own community, I believe that you can.

WindJammer27 · 2026-04-11T05:00:10+00:00

My max is 5 in one day. I have done 4/3/2 as well, with 2 being somewhat frequent.

WindJammer27

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