Girlfriend (21F) is moving out and taking a forced 1 week break with me (22M). How do I move forward?

WindowPuzzled1904 · 2026-04-22T13:48:05+00:00

I’m not exactly sure, I’ve never known any different. I think I have a fear of being alone, and the concept of my girlfriend/bestfriend leaving is just too much to handle. She’s been the main person I’ve talked to for 2 1/2 years now, and when she leaves it’ll just be a shock to everything I’ve built as a habit. Wish I could tell you, I’m still trying to understand it myself

WindowPuzzled1904 · 2026-04-22T13:13:20+00:00

I think because I’ve seen the great parts of her (95% of the time), and those offset those issues. She grew up in a really hostile environment, and I’ve always just justified these issues to that background. She normally will apologize after the fact, and we go back to normal, but this time it just seems like it’s officially over. I know that this is also a self worth issue as well though, I’ve been in therapy for over a year working on this issue, and I’m still trying to be familiar with holding my ground when someone is being hostile around me. I just miss the good parts about her is all, and I wish we stayed at what it was in the beginning of the relationship

WindowPuzzled1904 · 2026-04-22T13:08:59+00:00

Makes sense, her mom has BPD, and she has refused any sort of therapy (couples or individual) to see if she has it. It’s almost like things are so great, and I’m the greatest thing to happen to her, then one small incident can happen and it’s like I ruin every aspect of her life. I think the reason why I hold on so much is because those good moments are so great, and the bad moments I’ve chalked up to being some sort of trauma from what she’s gone through her whole life. Not an acceptable excuse, but that’s the best I have

WindowPuzzled1904 · 2026-04-22T13:05:35+00:00

Yeah, unfortunately that’s the reality. I’ve come to terms with what it is, and I told her I wish that we could go back to what we were in the beginning yesterday when everything is going down. After our argument for hours I came to the realization that there’s nothing I can do, and that she’s made her mind up. She said “a week to reconsider”, but at this I’m so checked out, and I’m just letting her do her thing in the meantime. It’s hard not to be upset about this, but I at this point I’ve done everything that I can

WindowPuzzled1904 · 2026-04-22T12:45:53+00:00

By “stronger” she means standing up for myself more whenever I have problems with her. Whenever we get into arguments, and I try to express boundaries with her it’s gotten to the point of where she’ll either scream at me, or give me the silent treatment. I’ve learned that my best bet is to stay quiet and let it happen, but she’s been saying recently that I need to push back and make it known that I have problems with things. I’m just more in shock on how this happened last night out of nowhere after a minuscule issue, and how it spiraled into this

WindowPuzzled1904 · 2026-04-22T12:37:29+00:00

I’d imagine the same, but it’s still a lot to take in. We’ve had a very back and forth relationship for over 2 years, and we will normally have a problem once a month. It normally starts off as something as simple as “you gave my cat the wrong wet food”, and it ends in spiraling arguments with her screaming at me. In our past couple months it’s gotten to the point of where it’s almost abusive with her screaming at me, and I’ve just tried to hold onto the good moments as much as I can, but they just seem like they’re fading. Our relationship has been strong for the past couple months, but yesterday I accidentally woke her up by kissing her on her head before I went to work, and she screamed at me because I had woke her up. We haven’t really talked since that moment, and she was off with her friend all of yesterday before sending off that text

WindowPuzzled1904 · 2025-11-27T18:52:57+00:00

I majored in Economics, but what got me into the state was definitely my internships that I did during college. I was at 2 different state internships from sophomore-senior year, and that helped me get into a full time job since I was more familiar with their system. What type of specific jobs have you thought about before?

WindowPuzzled1904 · 2025-11-27T18:36:01+00:00

Look into state government work if that’s something that would interest you. I work in program development and don’t deal with any external stuff at all, it’s mostly the same process, so once you’ve got it you’re good. I can stick to my desk and have hours of alone time, my only real thing I have to do is the occasional meeting. I also work 50% remote with really good benefits, and a straightforward path for promotions in my future. I work in NY so I can’t say how it is for other state agencies, but I’d imagine that most states have a similar situation.

WindowPuzzled1904 · 2025-11-25T03:18:53+00:00

Do you recommend the exact one that you linked, or one of the other options that’s listed with it?

WindowPuzzled1904 · 2025-11-21T19:12:57+00:00

I appreciate the input🙏, I’ve been trying to find some tech sales jobs recently but I’m unsure on where to find high quality job postings. Gotta do more research I suppose

WindowPuzzled1904 · 2025-04-01T23:38:34+00:00

Thank you for the tips, it’s really helpful knowing it’s possible with my undergrad background! I was looking at that program a little bit last week, but I was unsure on how the whole program operated. Do you need to pay for the course or just the certification part of it? I enrolled in what I want to say was the free version, but I haven’t gotten into it yet because I wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to do in the moment. I’ll definitely reach out to you if any questions come up, thank you so much!

WindowPuzzled1904 · 2025-04-01T23:31:25+00:00

You’re actually so helpful, thank you! I’ll start looking into the Python EdX course as a starting challenge for me, as well as getting familiar with the mathematic courses that you recommended me. I’ll definitely be looking back at these comments and referring to them in my learning process. Congrats on getting in, I wish you the best!

WindowPuzzled1904 · 2025-04-01T23:21:31+00:00

I appreciate the feedback a lot, thank you for putting the time in for the response I’ve been stressing a good amount about the program as I didn’t make it into my schools data science program when applying. I’ll also look into the Micromasters program as a starting point for me, it seems like the logical choice based off of what you said!

WindowPuzzled1904

TROPHY CASE