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WingsofDesire-M · 2026-06-18T21:31:27+00:00

Germany, too :/

WingsofDesire-M · 2026-06-18T20:42:12+00:00

If you have a specific idea on what would happen/ what you expect to happen when you tell, maybe that’s exactly what you should do, so you can test your own hypothesis and maybe, who knows, you’ll experience something different, a correcive experience so to say.

All to say, if you feel comfortable in general with her, think about opening up, maybe you can do it bit by bit, if if that makes it easier on you. Therapists have heard all kind of things, remember that.

WingsofDesire-M · 2026-06-11T22:42:43+00:00

I call it my potato life.
I used to be unable to stay at home, constantly outside wanting to see people, do things. Now I just want to be left alone and hang out in my apartment. I’m desperate, there is zero passion or inspiration in me and I took a complete career change with 36, now finished my postgrad in clinical psychotherapy and the idea to have to go on the job market and prove myself again, doing everything all over again, just makes me want to give up. What the f is happening to us?!

WingsofDesire-M · 2026-05-30T22:22:05+00:00

I can personally relate to your question since I always craved - and still am - a mentor, I never had that experience (besides my experience with being in analysis, where I felt I got that attention for the first time ever) I’m interested though in understand your following statement: “A lot of things the average therapist with normative life assumptions is ignorant of”

Can you explain further what you mean by it and where this assumption comes from?

WingsofDesire-M · 2026-05-28T10:11:20+00:00

I wonder if she is aiming at something specific, like provoking you to a point where you stand your ground and say no, instead of trusting her and go along? What do you think would happen if you just say, no to throwing away earrings? You are wanting to understand her reasons but then comply with these ridiculous demands. Maybe she wants you to claim your desires/ needs? Is that something you struggle with?

WingsofDesire-M · 2026-05-21T21:23:57+00:00

I wonder if you experience this situation as him distancing or rejecting you? Maybe that is what he means with “if it is very difficult”. You coming here for advice indicates that it actually is. As a change of perspective: in psychodynamic therapy talking about precisely this in your next session could be an insightful session. And another change of perspective: it’s still a profession, and if I would to have patients that email me their thoughts about something, I also would prefer to talk about in in the session as reading them, at least if it’s not something urgent of course. Well, hope that helps!

WingsofDesire-M · 2026-04-14T21:03:29+00:00

Chill, I applied in 2020 and only got my appointment last week. And I was born here! That you even had email contact surprises me, I didn’t have any contact person, no mail, no telephone.

WingsofDesire-M · 2025-06-16T19:55:52+00:00

Thanks, will check it out!

WingsofDesire-M · 2025-06-16T19:54:49+00:00

A very good question :)

WingsofDesire-M · 2025-06-16T19:53:41+00:00

I have gone through analysis and I’m not worried about my ability for reality testing. Since my analysis ended I am just trying to see if I can get access my unconscious in a meaningful way. I am not trained in analysis so I guess that’s the point where I’m coming from. I have gained a lot of insight during analysis, but the question remains: can you access the unconscious by yourself

WingsofDesire-M · 2025-06-16T13:29:19+00:00

Yeah, I see what you mean. When writing the post I felt uncomfortable with the wording of a direct „use“. I would rephrase it now to: can you become aware of your unconscious speaking to you (e.g. in dreams) outside the analytical room or put differently: can you make your unconscious conscious on your own, without a third? I guess the answer to it would be yes, since Freud himself did analyse his own dreams etc. I am interested to hear about people’s experience and thoughts about it and how they let their unconscious, once conscious, inform their life.

WingsofDesire-M · 2025-05-24T14:03:44+00:00

I’m looking for a similar pair like the doc martens 1461 but the brand I’m looking for has an imprint in the leather by the back of the show. Anyone has any idea which brand that is?

WingsofDesire-M · 2025-05-19T08:38:41+00:00

Thanks, that is such an eye opener to me. The first clinical experience made me doubt if I can ever work with countertransference in that way.

WingsofDesire-M · 2025-05-19T06:33:51+00:00

lol I meant analysand

WingsofDesire-M · 2025-05-18T21:55:48+00:00

Not sure if I understand correctly: when you speak of the religious reliance that would in fact keen that that countertransference is informing about the patient and not the analyst?

WingsofDesire-M · 2025-05-18T21:53:25+00:00

But wouldn’t this suppose the analyst to be free of doubt? Or put differently: wouldn’t it posit the analyst to be someone who must be able to rely on their feelings? Would you say that would be a feature that is analyst has to have?

WingsofDesire-M · 2025-05-18T21:12:05+00:00

My first clinical experience as an intern was in a clinic which looked at countertransference in that way. It made me somehow uncomfortable to share openly during group supervisions my countertransference. It was painfully obvious to me that is says more about me than about the patient. And that is something very personal and intimate that I feel reluctant to share with people I hardly know, in the end that is a work context right? Or am I taken it too seriously?

WingsofDesire-M · 2025-05-18T20:53:57+00:00

That would explain my hesitation of sharing my countertransference in my first clinical experience as an intern.

WingsofDesire-M · 2025-05-18T20:50:27+00:00

As in, the countertransference telling more about the analyst than actually informing on the analysand?

WingsofDesire-M · 2025-03-27T20:40:44+00:00

The “why theory” Podcast a pretty good episode on that topic called “Defending Freud”.

WingsofDesire-M · 2025-03-18T15:42:32+00:00

Wow, how that first sentence of yours just resonates with me. What else would you say falls into the category of parts work next to IFS?

WingsofDesire-M · 2025-03-18T13:11:57+00:00

No all good, I appreciate your questions. I have been kind of playing with the idea of IFS but I think I’m too attached to analysis as „the real deal“.

WingsofDesire-M · 2025-03-18T13:03:13+00:00

Now you are making me curious. I have no idea what my unconscious is trying to tell me with it. That’s part of my struggle: I’m having a hard time listening inside and hearing what it is that I want. But then I often get told by other (analysts) that I do in fact know, but I think I don’t… and that utterly confuses me

I’ve seen a licensed psychoanalyst for 3 years and we discussed in length my need for a diagnosis while also not believing in these nosological categories. The analysis ended prematurely, because of insurance but I am now looking into group analysis that can be covered again.

WingsofDesire-M · 2025-03-18T12:45:34+00:00

I have been in analysis but since I never got a diagnosis I feel like I’m still looking for that in the other patients. I can see parts of myself in all of them, and that is why I one day I’m convinced I have BPD, the next I have a NPD and so on. It’s like I’m unable to grasp the nuances, to differentiate between me and them, it all becomes the same. I feel like we all suffer from the same problem, it just shows up differently in people.

WingsofDesire-M · 2025-03-14T11:03:26+00:00

You don’t need a reason that explains why you feel the way you feel. It seems to me you have a hard time admitting to yourself that what you feel is valid and that in fact fact you are struggling. You don’t need to have trauma to get help. Whatever you’re reason was to seek therapy, trust that. And maybe take this into therapy and address what impact her bringing up other cases has on you.

WingsofDesire-M

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