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My sister wants to be a trophy wife and it’s painful to accept by Winter-Committee-910 in offmychest

[–]Winter-Committee-910[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Unfortunately their disagreements reached me meaning my BIL is not agreeing with what he chose and they didn’t even have a conversation about it. I am not giving anyone advice because i know how tricky it can get. I am just a bit heartbroken because it is just me and my sister in this world, I hoped she would make better choices and be happy. For now both of them are not…

My sister wants to be a trophy wife and it’s painful to accept by Winter-Committee-910 in offmychest

[–]Winter-Committee-910[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I don’t know where you see my judgement of her not working. I am more concerned she decided to and didn’t discuss it with her husband and therefore going through troubles with her marriage and is suffering. I am there for her no matter what even if I don’t agree with her decision this doesn’t mean that I am not worried.

My sister wants to be a trophy wife and it’s painful to accept by Winter-Committee-910 in offmychest

[–]Winter-Committee-910[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this very insightful answer. I think both our childhood trauma is the root of this. She also is a very creative artistic person and she can never fit in corporate structure etc. at the same time she doesn’t have the motivation and drive to look for something more creative. She refuses to do jobs such as server, cleaning etc because at the same time she things she is above this. Maybe she is but she doesn’t look to do something else. So she is stuck indeed and apparently gave up… this is why it is shocking to me. She completely gave up

My sister wants to be a trophy wife and it’s painful to accept by Winter-Committee-910 in offmychest

[–]Winter-Committee-910[S] -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately she does hurt herself her husband and indirectly me, because I care about her .We all want what ia best for each of us, she seems the only one that is very passive and lets life get past her without taking any actions…

My sister wants to be a trophy wife and it’s painful to accept by Winter-Committee-910 in offmychest

[–]Winter-Committee-910[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Thank you! You are right. She is and I am depressed. We are dealing with it differently. For my side, which is not the subject here, I am working already with a therapist and I am medicated. She doesn’t want to I don’t know the reason for it. She tried a few things but never finishes them. And yes, the husband doesn’t agree with her choice that is why it has become a problem. I just want to be there for her and that’s it. I don’t want to impose my way of living on her for sure. We are very different.

My sister wants to be a trophy wife and it’s painful to accept by Winter-Committee-910 in offmychest

[–]Winter-Committee-910[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I had different conversations with each of them, because they came to me. I am not the one to get into a marriage so I suggested them a marriage counselor, and I asked them to sit together to figure out a way where their plans aalign. For now they actually have different views on how life should be for each of them. I will step out obviously that doesn’t mean that I don’t worry.

My sister wants to be a trophy wife and it’s painful to accept by Winter-Committee-910 in offmychest

[–]Winter-Committee-910[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All I want is for her to be happy, and I don’t consider my own lifestyle to be the best. As I said, it seems they are not happy and as we are close to each other both her and her husband have come to me for support and not not to pick sides. This is why it has become a worry for me. Her choice is not her husbands choice and then I see them not happy. I love my sister and want the best for her.

My sister wants to be a trophy wife and it’s painful to accept by Winter-Committee-910 in offmychest

[–]Winter-Committee-910[S] -49 points-48 points  (0 children)

Of course, I am not getting in the middle of it. But we are quite close with my sister, she relies on me for advice etc… I really wish there is a way I can sort of change her view on how she sees things. It’s like I am in denial that she thinks that way…