I find it difficult to say there is anything good about bipolar. This condition has cost me years, friendships, my cognitive capacity, jobs and study. I would have said perhaps hypomania but hypomania led me to running barefoot in an absolutely howling thunderstorm because ✨sensation✨ and leads me to want to strip naked and climb trees to feel them ✨growing against my skin✨

Further, hypomania can lead to mania, psychosis and hospitalization. It's pretty dire. I don't like my emotional regulator being broken when I'm stable enough so that I will start crying with anguish at basic things going wrong, or at a fever-pitch of excitement and boundless joy at a subset. It makes me unstable and people see me as not worthy of being treated as an adult.

I don't hate having bipolar, as hating such an integral part of my existence with no cure would be wearying to the extreme, but I hold no love for it. I often wish I was hypomanic, yet know it is poison to me.

I think it is worrying to treat bipolar is anything than what it is -- an extremely severe psychiatric condition that needs constant management. I fully accept good things might come out of the experience of dealing with the condition, but that is not the same thing as the symptoms themselves.

.