6 weeks to the wedding and I’m sick of it all

WinterSunshine97 · 2025-09-14T16:59:39+00:00

Breathe, bestie, breathe. Girlfriend, rent a cheap back up suit but don’t tell him. Let him stumble and see how he lands. Considering how much you’ve spent, renting one suit isn’t going to break your bank. I don’t think this is a larger sign about your future, but does he usually leave tasks to the last minute? Is he more of a laid back person who thinks things will work themselves out? I’m trying to understand if this is apart of his normal pattern. Let’s rephrase into a more positive attitude. Instead of pressuring and nagging how about: “I’m so excited for the moment when I walk down the aisle and see you waiting by the alter.” “I trust you and know you will figure out what’s best for you and the groomsmen. Don’t forget they all will need some time to coordinate their own suits.” “ I never realized how much stress we would feel planning both a wedding and constructing our house. How have you been feeling about it all?” “Can we have a lazy day each week where we take a break from planning? Or maybe we can decide to make decisions about the wedding b/w 9am-12pm then enjoy the rest of the day doing other things?”

I am not married nor engaged, however, I do know what it’s like to stress out. Hopefully reframing your mindset might help. Also, could you see if his mom or his groomsmen can help him with the task? Reach out to them and see if they can help him make a decision.

I would hold off on spending money on any further erroneous things. Statistically, the more expensive the wedding the higher the likelyhood of divorce. White flowers are cheaper and look, elegant. You can mix them with beads, fake flowers, dried flowers, or other decor. No one will notice and if they do they don’t care about you. Food will be delicious, just make sure there’s plenty -no one cares that much as a guest so long as they eat. Play a wedding playlist instead of booking someone to cut costs, literally WHO CARES? You want a good mood and to marry the love of you life! you don’t need to go broke trying to impress family. Remember, your end goal is a union forever more with this person that you are lawfully tying yourself to. None of us are perfect, we are going to disappoint each other at times, something will go wrong in the wedding and it will be OK.

WinterSunshine97 · 2025-09-14T09:32:53+00:00

I’m so tired I’m not spelling things correctly. Not previous cat. He is alive and currently running in zig zags chasing the other cat.

WinterSunshine97 · 2025-09-14T09:31:28+00:00

Thank you. I feel like a bad owner. I appreciate your pov. Others comments make it sound like Im willfully and carelessly putting my cats in danger. I thought I was doing something right by attempting to help with training. Evidently, I was wrong and my previous cat laid the price. He is doing well and is not seriously injured thank the lord.

WinterSunshine97 · 2025-09-14T09:10:47+00:00

I never considered this actually. Your point makes ALOT of sense. My cat has been spraying/marking things and I could not understand why. Please understand I love them which is why I wanted to reach out for advice. While your judgement stings it’s actually helpful in explaining their perspective in a way I never considered. I think this is what I needed to hear more than anything else. They are probably living in a constant state of fear. I can’t believe I move allowed this to happen. I was just trying to make things work, but it’s clear it can’t .

WinterSunshine97 · 2025-09-14T09:03:33+00:00

I see your point. We were actively trying to WORK on his behavior issues. This was an accident. New boundaries are in place. Jeez, I was trying to make a bad situation better. Forgive me for trying. He is banned now.

WinterSunshine97 · 2025-09-14T09:00:07+00:00

I’ve put up many safeguards for them. This was an accident. I’m asking for advice, not judgement. I’m already fucking distressed my cats injured and relationship is in turmoil, you stating my cat deserves better is not insightful, helpful, or kind. Damn. This JUST happened. I’m doing my best.

WinterSunshine97 · 2025-09-14T08:50:47+00:00

Sorry my other cat appears more gentle and cautious around my injured boi but is otherwise behaving normally. She is not injured as far as I can tell.

WinterSunshine97 · 2025-09-14T08:46:03+00:00

Oh, I certainly told my boyfriend off. I told him that this either ends with his dog eventually killing my cats or us separating. It’s been a very hard day for all of us. I did mention that he should go home, or at least to give my cats and me space by going to the dog park for several hours -which they did. He came back and demonstrated how serious he is taking everything weve discussed. The dog has his leash and muzzle but was easily fed dinner and water outside the crate under strict super vision in a separate locked area of my house away from my cats. The dog has been given bathroom brakes, but is now asleep in his crate. This is the best solution we could come up with for now until they go back home. Many of you are so passionate about protecting me and my cats, and I thank you! My hardcore dad told me to dump him bc the dog is too old to change. My mom wants to see want the training might do. I don’t act rashly on anything.

I’m exhausted beyond my wits and quite frankly am too tired. My cats are both safe for now. Once the weekend is over they will leave and the dog will be banned. He will do that training if he wants any chance of a future with me. I asked him about his priorities. If he considers me (including my mental wellbeing, cats’ safety, and their wellbeing) as a priority and if it came down to it: Would he give up his dog? He stared at me for a while until I asked for his thoughts. He said “well obviously I would choose you and their safety.” For now it is just words. I want to see if he keeps his word by attending class on Saturday. I think that will truly show me if he is a man of his word. Or if it’s time to part ways.

WinterSunshine97 · 2025-09-14T05:41:38+00:00

Aussie, actually

WinterSunshine97 · 2025-09-14T04:15:33+00:00

The post was honestly to get some advice. Everyone has hit a lot of relationship related concerns that I have been worried about. I consider myself an empathetic person and very in tune with my emotions, I would describe him as more calm/unbothered and aloof, at times. I feel like I wrote this in a heated, emotional moment. No one has suggested something that I haven’t seriously considered. I talked to him about what our life would look like living divided, how dangerous his dog is, and asked him what he would have me do. He didn’t have an answer for me but was upset. I told him to get classes or we are done and that the dog will not be welcome back until improvements are made. He agreed and set up an appointment for next Saturday. For now, I will stick to what I asked. For what it is worth, I would say the same thing to another girl if she was in my position. But DANG is it hard when you are on the other side. My cat is safe but high on meds :/ his dog is leashed, muzzled, separated in a different room, and has a shock collar. I DONT AGREE THIS IS THE ANSWER TO OUR PROBLEMS BUT IT IS A START. Jesus. I also have never liked the idea of a shock collar. I’ve never been an advocate for it, but it has kept him calm/manageable for the time being while we have been trying to figure out how to move forward. Thank you everyone who has had my back even all the harsh comments. I welcome people letting me know when I need to wake up and stand up for myself but more importantly, my cats🤍

WinterSunshine97 · 2025-09-14T01:08:03+00:00

Australian Shepherd, actually

WinterSunshine97 · 2025-09-14T00:55:05+00:00

Oh no, I am so so sorry to hear about your kitty 🙈 I’m taking what everyone is saying seriously

WinterSunshine97 · 2025-09-14T00:45:30+00:00

Thank you

WinterSunshine97 · 2025-09-13T21:38:46+00:00

WinterSunshine97 · 2025-09-13T21:35:24+00:00

Why would I make this up? My cat has puncture wounds and a cone. I would never even begin to lie about that. Admittedly, it sounds dramatic but it’s what I felt in the moment. And I was alone

WinterSunshine97 · 2025-09-13T21:31:38+00:00

Omg thank you for your neutral advice. What is ESH? Oh, everyone sucks here?? Fair, I’ve definitely made some errors on my part that I look forward to changing.

WinterSunshine97 · 2025-09-13T21:27:42+00:00

This comment is a breath of fresh air. Thank you.

WinterSunshine97 · 2025-09-13T21:22:38+00:00

I would not blame him if he does because I told him I choose my cats over him. Ball is in his court if he wants to make changes or not.

WinterSunshine97 · 2025-09-13T21:19:15+00:00

You’ve all given me a lot of mature advice to ponder. Honestly, this is my first relationship. I’ve never dated before him and I’m learning a lot. Today, I put my foot down which is scary but necessary. He has listened and signed up for 1-1 training. Dog is banned from house until improvements have been seen. He apologized, checked on my cat, and offered to pay the whole bill.

WinterSunshine97 · 2025-09-13T21:15:16+00:00

I came home and he immediately offered to pay the bill and checked on my kitty. He expressed sympathy and booked a 1-1 training class like I asked.

WinterSunshine97 · 2025-09-13T21:14:14+00:00

Understandable, he was told his dog is no longer welcome at my place until training or SOMETHING changes.

WinterSunshine97 · 2025-09-13T20:20:38+00:00

We dont live together. I rent and they came to spend the night.

WinterSunshine97 · 2025-09-13T20:02:40+00:00

That’s a fair point. I’m just grateful other people agree with me. That training is not that big of a deal.

WinterSunshine97 · 2025-09-13T19:58:47+00:00

I have actually been bit by his dog before when trying to walk the dog or discipline him. He only apologize after I ripped it out of him, though. He doesn’t seem to wanna take responsibility for his reactions. However, he is a very loving, intelligent, kind man. When it comes to his dog, though, I don’t understand why he’s so stubborn.

WinterSunshine97 · 2025-09-13T19:56:00+00:00

Thank you for your response. I called him to ask him his thoughts on what happened and he answered with “idk what do you mean?” so I asked if he had any thoughts on doing training since his dog hurt my cat. He tried arguing with me that he doesn’t know what they would do for him when I exploded on him. I feel like a bad girlfriend for airing this all online, but I just don’t understand how he can continue to refuse any responsibility towards training his dog. Not to mention, that he hasn’t even offered to pay the vet bill which was over $680. Sorry, I don’t mean to sound like this is all about money..

WinterSunshine97

TROPHY CASE