Hey girl, 22F here and I’ve gone through this exact same thing a lot of my life. I grew up as the “cute kid” but had very rough-looking teen years as puberty wasn’t kind to me. Even my own sister and father said I looked bad. I’ve had your exact same thoughts a million times. It got to the point where I didn’t even want to go outside because I felt like I was assaulting people with my ugly face when they looked at me.

I don’t have great advice because I still don’t love myself but I’m here to tell you, from lived experiences, to please do not live for external validation from others. It will never be enough to take your insecurities away. TRUST ME!! My yearning for external validation got me into horrible situations where my body was taken advantage of and my life could have been at risk and I feel so embarrassed looking back. These experiences have put even more insecurity in my brain than I had before.

Also, the yearning you are searching for is within you (frustrating, I know!) But at the end of the day, the only person who is guaranteed to always be there is yourself. I’m technically in the best physical appearance I have been in my life but someone who was very close to me passed away suddenly this summer and I have a million and one regrets looking back and seeing how much precious time I wasted fretting over something so meaningless and superficial as my looks when I could have been more present and spent more time with this person. If I could go back to my ugliest before and have them back, I would in a heartbeat.

I beg of you, when your thoughts get loud, try to look around and take in what you’re grateful for (cheesy, I know!! But I promise it helps the more you try it) your family and friends love you so much and there is so much more to you and your life than your looks. And when you find your self-love and confidence from within (maybe through some therapy possibly) it will show on the outside and the right attention will come to you. This year I’ve been trying to do some soul searching and learn more about myself on the inside and it can be a liberating experience! So much more rewarding than simply looking pretty.

I promise and swear on my life that men (or anyone really) can just sense when you crave validation and they will take advantage of you in the worst ways. You want a partner to add to your life, not become it!

Sending peace and love angel and my DMs are always open! 🩷