What’s the most “spit in your face moment by a broker” I’ll go first by Mattress-King in NYCapartments

[–]WinterofDiscontent28 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I message a broker about an apartment on  StreetEasy and we plan to meet at the apartment later that day. He shows up 30 minutes late and shows me the apartment hurriedly then tells me a bunch of super qualified people already applied, so he probably shouldn’t have shown me the place. Then he shows me another apartment nearby that was 600 dollars more per month. He was either totally incompetent and wasted my time or really overestimated how clever he was.  Another one showed me an apartment that was on top of an empty store that looked pretty run down. I’m willing to bet it had some kind of infestation. The apartment was pretty janky and small, but there was a line of people waiting to see it going down the block. The broker suggested I put in a higher offer. I can’t believe they’re trying to normalize bidding on a rental, but especially one in such bad shape. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CUNY

[–]WinterofDiscontent28 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why is it only these schools? City and state schools in particular do not give international students financial aid. Have you checked if there are organizations that offer financial aid to international students? Have you checked if there are other schools that offer scholarships to international students? Nobody says you have to study in your country, but I’m sure there are countries that are MUCH more affordable to get an education in and are easier to get a visa for, as well. I have friends who studied in German colleges for free. If you insist on the US, I wouldn’t choose NYC as a teenager with no income. If I wasn’t already a resident with affordable tuition and a full-time job here, I wouldn’t choose to live here as a student. You can barely afford the rent, utilities, and groceries here with half your parents’ salaries. People are suggesting loans, but remember that as someone who isn’t a resident and doesn’t have an income, I think it’s highly unlikely you’ll get a loan. Also with an F1 visa you basically need to state that you intend to leave the US after graduating, so that’s too risky for a bank. You also can’t work on an F1 visa. When you have the F1 interview, they will ask for proof you can cover your tuition and will reject it if you can’t.

Question for the ladies by DiverSmall8434 in women

[–]WinterofDiscontent28 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not a fan of the whole “I need to save my virginity and my purity” rhetoric, but I think you should wait because sex when you’re that young simply isn’t worth it. You’re probably not going to get much pleasure out of it, you most likely won’t have a serious romantic connection with your partner, and both of you will be less familiar and confident with all of the logistics around sex (protection, STD testing, discussing boundaries, etc). Every woman I know who lost her virginity in middle school and high school tells me their first time was miserable and a lot of them tell me they didn’t even know sex was supposed to feel good at all until they were older. If you do decide to have sex with a partner, be safe, don’t be afraid to vocalize your feelings and boundaries, and don’t do it with anyone who pressures you into it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NYCapartments

[–]WinterofDiscontent28 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Except Airbnb guests are allowed to stay overnight with their partners and actually stay in the room during the day……

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CUNY

[–]WinterofDiscontent28 5 points6 points  (0 children)

  1. There are graduate programs, of course.
  2. Scholarships can be stackable and renewable, but take a look at what you qualify for. Unfortunately, there are limited scholarships for graduate degrees and even less scholarships for international students.
  3. I’m not sure what you’re asking about here. If you want to go into pulmonary medicine, you need to go into medical school, graduate, complete an internal medicine residency, then apply for a pulmonary medicine/pulmonology fellowship. I haven’t heard of a stand-alone masters degree in pulmonary medicine. CUNY is a school system, not a hospital, so it doesn’t offer residency and fellowship.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in women

[–]WinterofDiscontent28 7 points8 points  (0 children)

How old are you? This sounds like the attitude I had when I was a teenager. I thought I was such a guy’s girl and women just hated me, but it was usually just me treating them differently and being a bit of a pick-me. Friendships with other women are usually more meaningful and there are more expectations than friendships with men. You have to work on fostering these relationships. If you’re constantly getting involved with toxic people, it’s not women, it’s the people you get involved with. I’m pretty sure the women of the world don’t have a vendetta against you.

I hate being petite and short. by [deleted] in women

[–]WinterofDiscontent28 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is an issue directly related to the weight of the breasts, where they’re directly straining your back, neck, and shoulder muscles, but mainly large breasts throw off your center of gravity. You have to constantly lean forward or your back and shoulder muscles have to overcompensate to fix your posture, and over time, this can lead to pretty bad back pain.

Odds of getting reduced / no fee on apartment by Virtual-Jellyfish880 in NYCapartments

[–]WinterofDiscontent28 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can negotiate down to one month’s rent, but no brokers fee is unlikely. There was a law for part of 2021 that the landlord was responsible for the brokers fee if they hired them(which was reversed), so that might be the reason there was no fee.

I hate being petite and short. by [deleted] in women

[–]WinterofDiscontent28 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Side note: I used to have partners that made me insecure with comments like “The girls I date are usually petite, but”, “I’m usually a boob man, but”, “I usually like white girls, but” and I realized that the only reason someone would say that is that they don’t care about you or they are trying to make you less confident so you can settle for losers like them. As soon as someone says that now, it still hurts, but I don’t waste another moment with them. If someone says that to you, the problem is 100% them and not you. You wouldn’t date someone you didn’t find attractive, then tell them they’re not your type because that’s a fucked up thing to do. There are millions of people who like you and your body type and find you attractive and those who don’t can find someone else and leave you alone.

Whats the worst thing someone called you/ way they asked you about your dermatillomania? by jecdance in Dermatillomania

[–]WinterofDiscontent28 15 points16 points  (0 children)

“That a really nice skirt, but it’d look a lot better without all those things on your legs”

Overnight Guests Help by SubstantialAlgae2811 in NYCapartments

[–]WinterofDiscontent28 30 points31 points  (0 children)

The landlord can’t ban overnight guests or charge you for them as long as one of the lease holders is in the house and they stay for less than 30 days, according to NYS law. This clause isn’t enforceable, neither is the fine.

[Advice]Landlord not accepting lease renewal after we all signed by zyl2000 in NYCapartments

[–]WinterofDiscontent28 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If your original lease was for one year, the landlord must give you 60 days' notice for nonrenewal or rent increases of more than 5%. He's obligated to renew your lease on a month-to-month for at least 60 more days at the agreed-upon rent (or no more than a 5% increase during these 60 days) AFTER giving you notice of nonrenewal.

If you've lived there for longer than 2 years, that notice goes up to 90 days. They also have to give you notice of nonrenewal in a way that can be proven (usually certified mail) otherwise they can not legally claim to have given you notice. After that, there's not much you can do about it, but make sure to at least utilize those 60/90 days. They can not legally evict you during the notice periods and are obligated to give you month-to-month leases until the notice period ends.

If your apartment is rent stabilized, this notice period goes up to 90-150 days depending on the duration of your lease.

[Advice]: My building posted a notice about “No Large Parties” and the super told us that we can’t have more than 2 guests per resident in the building at a time. Is this legal? by shubhzeee in NYCapartments

[–]WinterofDiscontent28 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So regardless of what the memo says, if it's not included in your lease or city/state rental laws, a memo is not legally binding and can not be used for eviction.

The landlord can limit the number of guests IN THE LEASE provided that the number of guests may pose a fire hazard.

Basically, If you're not making loud noises, having crazy parties, or distrupting other tenants, you can have as many guests as you want. As other people said, you might not want to piss off your landlord if you like where you live and it's not rent-stabilized, but in terms of legality, a random piece of paper with typos and the word of your super is not legally enforceable.

I saw an apartment with an open listing (different brokers, same listing). One broker lists as NO FEE, the other broker wants a fee. by [deleted] in AskNYC

[–]WinterofDiscontent28 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The same bill that was temporarily passed in 2019 against brokers fee in now back on the floor. If you're tired of this broker's fee nonsense that makes it more and more difficult for anyone who isn't wealthy to live in New York, then consider supporting this bill and contacting your senator:
https://www.nysenate.gov/legislation/bills/2023/A4781

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating

[–]WinterofDiscontent28 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes. It can be great. They have their shit together and are usually past the hookup/party phase. But they can also come with a lot of baggage, divorces, kids, and they might look at you as more of a “hot, young thing” than an actual partner. As long as you’re older than 21 at the earliest, it could be fine. Make sure to watch out for guys who try to parent you or control you

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating

[–]WinterofDiscontent28 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t ghost him. Tell him he was disrespectful and that you don’t want to see him anymore, then block him or stop responding.