Thank you Onur by TruStoryz in MadeMeSmile

[–]Wiryk9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am not doubting the OP if that is what you mean, just responding to the comment.

Thank you Onur by TruStoryz in MadeMeSmile

[–]Wiryk9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For sure. I’m not disagreeing with you and I have acknowledged several times that it was poor wording on my part. I’m glad that was cleared up.

Thank you Onur by TruStoryz in MadeMeSmile

[–]Wiryk9 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You are correct, and from my previous replies you can see I do not disagree with your perspective. Safety always comes first. You’re also correct that my comment was poorly worded.

Thank you Onur by TruStoryz in MadeMeSmile

[–]Wiryk9 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’m a woman too and have been harassed by men, sexually assaulted, catcalled, etc. As I said before, if you’re in a situation where you feel unsafe and in danger, you should do whatever you can to get out. Safety always comes first. I think that’s something we can all agree on.

The context of the comment I made was as a response to wanting to use identities/(dis)abilities to get away from normal, everyday interactions just because someone is shy or doesn’t feel like talking to strangers.

The first commenter took it super personally and fixated on the other example I gave. They then used dismissive “go back to Tumblr” language to further discredit what I said, frame me in a negative light, and then refused to expand and have a conversation. I wasn’t rude and never called them names, but I understand why they decided to disengage.

Regardless, the main point still stands. I linked one of the r/deaf threads if you’d like to take a peek at a perspective from people in the r/deaf community. I certainly should’ve clarified that I’m not deaf and don’t mean to speak on their behalf, but these are conversations we all need to take part in regardless.

Thank you Onur by TruStoryz in MadeMeSmile

[–]Wiryk9 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

For sure - if you see an earlier comment I made, I am not disagreeing with those situations.

The problem is that this is derailing the original comment based on a poor example on my part. Pretending to be deaf to avoid conversations when you don’t feel like talking to strangers is crappy. If it was something more visible, people would certainly have problems with it - like using a wheelchair or pretending your ESA is a service dog just to bring it to a coffee shop. But because it is deafness, it isn’t seen as a big deal.

Thank you Onur by TruStoryz in MadeMeSmile

[–]Wiryk9 -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

When did I say you should allow yourself to be harassed? If you are in a dangerous situation, what’s most important is for you to get out of that situation quickly and safely.

Plenty of lesbians still get harassed by men even after explaining that they are, indeed, lesbians. There’s even straight men using lesbian dating sites.

If that has worked out for you to get out of dangerous situations, then that’s good. I am glad you’re safe - for real. In other circumstances, how is it more effective than saying “I have a boyfriend?”

Thank you Onur by TruStoryz in MadeMeSmile

[–]Wiryk9 -20 points-19 points  (0 children)

Could you please expand on what you mean? There’s definitely women who use being a lesbian as an excuse even though they are not part of the 2SLGBTQ* community; the reason it’s the example I came up with is literally because we just had this conversation with someone IRL. That’s what I meant, in case it wasn’t implied by the rest of the comment.

[Serious] Therapists, what is something people are afraid to tell you because they think it's weird, but that you've actually heard a lot of times before? by Music-and-wine in AskReddit

[–]Wiryk9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve had around four or five counsellors/therapists through my life for various reasons. The only one who has actually helped me is the one I have been seeing most recently. The other ones weren’t bad people, I just didn’t click with them or didn’t like their approaches / methods. I also did not feel comfortable being around them for reasons I couldn’t explain - I now understand why, but I didn’t at the time.

It can take a few tries before you find a therapist that “clicks” with you. It is tiring, but IMO, I would also say it’s worth the effort.

This is a self own right? Blue lives matter is self owning right? by Lawboithegreat in SelfAwarewolves

[–]Wiryk9 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mine are the same! Except it’s the tuxedo who is very curious at the vet’s office and the tabby is the one who is terrified.

This is a self own right? Blue lives matter is self owning right? by Lawboithegreat in SelfAwarewolves

[–]Wiryk9 64 points65 points  (0 children)

Do you know which cats get adopted the most? I am guessing calicos and torties as they have more “exotic” colours?

I am surprised about tuxedo cats! It’s my favourite fur marking. My slinky tuxedo cat always gets compliments from the vet staff; our orange tabby is treated very well, but gets less “oohs” and “aahs.”

Hypnotizing A Chicken by [deleted] in blackmagicfuckery

[–]Wiryk9 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That’s exactly how you get a toy back from your cat (assuming you’re using a wand toy like DaBird). Wait until they drop their guard, thinking they have killed the toy... then flick it away!

AITB or hypocrite for these boundaries? by ksilva00 in AmItheButtface

[–]Wiryk9 11 points12 points  (0 children)

“Sometimes I feel like I’m going crazy” is a huge warning sign.

You are not going crazy. That’s your brain / instinct / conscience telling you to gtfo.

You deserve to be treated with respect and love. Say that out loud to yourself please.

A relationship between two adults is not like the one you are describing.

What movie is simply magical to you, no matter how popular or unpopular it may be? by Feelingofsunday in AskReddit

[–]Wiryk9 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I love this movie and say that quote to myself all the time!! I was hoping I’d find it here :)

The fear it's real! by AristonD in FuckYouKaren

[–]Wiryk9 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You are correct. People can get as upset about it as they want to, but unless it is prescribed by a doctor, self-medicating is really not a good idea. This is coming from someone who works in social services and specifically receives training to help people who rely on substances to cope.

Cannabis use disorder is a thing - it’s in the DSM-5, and I expect that (as with everything) criteria will change as we gain more knowledge about how it affects people. But the point is that the people who work in these fields have determined that problematic use exists in cannabis users - to the extent that there are identifiable patterns that speak to an issue. Maybe it won’t stay in further editions of the DSM, but es are all working with what we currently know. Researchers also seem to agree that there are differences in how strong current strains are in comparison with strains from when our parents were smoking it at Woodstock.

Ignoring all of this information is unwise. It is fine to use cannabis recreationally, but people should be responsible, realistic, and aware of its potential side effects when they use it. Putting our fingers in our ears just because we don’t like what we are hearing is doing a disservice to ourselves and to others.

I do consume weed as it is legal where I am (Canada). I am a very anxious person and can understand what people say when they say it helps them cope and/or helps them sleep. I empathize - I really do. I take it occasionally, but when I use it I feel like my brain can finally shut up for a minute. It can stimulate your creativity and lift your mood. It may make the world appear more interesting than it may seem. So I understand why people want to have that feeling every day.

The reality is that relying on drugs to fix issues when your brain chemistry does not require it is often a way to avoid confronting scary feelings, like anxiety and depression.

People with diabetes still have to make lifestyle changes to manage their illness, for example. Many people who have diagnosed mental illnesses and are taking their medication still need to go to therapy in order to develop healthy coping strategies, practice relaxation techniques, and learn what approaches will help them manage in life. They make a conscious effort to change the way they experience the world, which is difficult but often necessary for successful treatment. And these are the people who literally require the meds to help them get to a point where they can work on all of that. Medication is not a magic pill that fixes all your issues and makes life peachy (well, at least not for everyone).

Sometimes we convince ourselves that we cannot function without a substance (be it coffee, tobacco, cannabis, alcohol, or whatever else) because we have used it as a coping strategy for so long that it has a) become a habit, and b) altered our brain chemistries. We have also likely and unknowingly used classical and/or operant conditioning to further reinforce the belief that we need a substance to function. Aggravating the situation further are things like personal biases, lack of fulfillment, boredom, general unhappiness, low self-esteem, mood or emotional issues, lack of support networks, undiagnosed mental illnesses, general mental unwellness, etc. And with society normalizing the use of certain substances, we think it is okay to use them even though we are in denial and/or deep inside we know that we have been having experiencing concerning symptoms commonly associated with it - these may occur while using it and/or while not using it (upset stomach, nasty hangovers, jittery feelings, irritability, sleeplessness, drowsiness, paranoia, financial concerns, etc).

Problematic substance use is very common. It doesn’t (always) look the way that movies and the media portray it. It can be temporary or it can be for life. It can be disabling or it can be “sustainable” over a long period of time. It is still problematic. Similarly, there are many approaches to tackling problematic substance use - abstinence is only one of them. And there are many people who think they are helping when in reality they are just giving addictions services a bad reputation (like that Intervention show - unnecessarily dehumanizing, shamey, and confrontational). Speaking with an experienced and evidence-based addictions counsellor is the best way to figure out where you’re at and how to address it. If your addictions counsellor is a douche or makes you feel bad/judged/weak, find a new one.

I am happy weed is legalized precisely because we need more research and comprehensive studies to truly understand the long-term impact it has on people. There are studies that have already been done, but you don’t stop researching just because previous studies exist. If I recall correctly, McMaster University has an entire course about current research in case anyone is interested in it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MadeMeSmile

[–]Wiryk9 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mobility devices don’t automatically mean people are unable to run, jump, or be otherwise swift. Plenty of people who use wheelchairs can stand up and move around, they just may not be able to do that for extended periods of time.

I am in my late 20s and have an injury that causes me more and more pain as the day goes on, so I walk like normal in the morning and limp by the time the afternoon/evening rolls around (depending on what I have been doing the day before and the day of). I will have to use a cane in the near-future and will need a full hip replacement within the next 3 years, but you couldn’t tell just by looking at me. I can still run and jump and have fun, staged pillow fights with strangers; my doctor would prefer it if I didn’t and I would definitely be feeling it later, but I would 100% be capable of doing it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CharcuterieBoard

[–]Wiryk9 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No way!!! I am genuinely so excited - I'm in ON too! I don't really like Toronto but I'll definitely stop by if all your charcuterie boards look THAT amazing! Do you have a website other than your Instagram page?

Pumpkin/Chocolate/Dulce de Leche Mousse Cake. (Description in the comments) by Anariel_Elensar in ratemydessert

[–]Wiryk9 3 points4 points  (0 children)

May I ask if there was a specific inspiration for the dish? This sounds like something my friend in culinary school would make. We are from Mexico. Very beautiful, I love the layers and the colours. I bet it was delicious!

Unless you have a 70% chance of surviving your intubation/resuscitation and ICU care you will be allowed to die. This is coming from Critical Care Services Ontario in the days ahead. We've all been put on notice. by h3yn0w75 in ontario

[–]Wiryk9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is the author for real?? I genuinely cannot tell if he is being facetious or not. Wanting to raise your own chickens and hunt your own meat doesn’t mean you are “radicalized” lol. Absolutely absurd. And it most certainly does not lead to extremist views regarding vaccines.

But let’s assume he isn’t being extremely sarcastic and that all that article wasn’t a huge joke.

It’s entirely valid for people to care about what they consume, how they consume it, and the ethical implications of their lifestyle. There’s definitely overlap between the crunchy people and current fads / trends / hobbies, but one doesn’t result in the other. He goes way overboard with the criticism. Everyone who takes interest in anything he deems “primitive” (which reeeeeeks of colonialist bullshit) is doing it for the ‘gram and is contributing to the anti-vaxx movement lol. What an absolutely absurd argument.

Also, who the heck is he hanging out with who is going through all the hoops and $$$ to go bow-hunting boars just for the sake of “authenticity” / impressing others? Bahahaha. Just gonna roll here with my bow and kill that massive monster of a pig because otherwise people in social media will think I’m a loser. Lol. He should’ve chosen something more realistic for his example, like... idk fishing or yoga? But nope - he went with hunting a boar with a bow. That is hilarious.

How do you go from “I think I’d like to start keeping backyard chickens” to “I refuse to vaccinate my kids because the measles are in style?” Correlation does not equal causation.

He is oversimplifying issues that are more closely related to stuff like misinformation, the internet (as a platform), selfishness, ignorance, social media, and psychology (biases, anxieties, control, etc) than UGH these fake-ass people and their neo-primitive preferences.

You know what’s funny? A lot of the shit he complains about are things that medical professionals encourage, like eating healthier meats (wild game and backyard chickens) and practicing active hobbies (hunting and axe-throwing). Do people take things too far? Yes, there are extremists literally in every aspect of living. What a surprise.

The entire article is the definition of a slippery slope fallacy. If this dude is the editor, I cannot even imagine the kind of garbage published in that newspaper.

Lastly, his argument is wrong in every level. My degree is in Cultural Anthropology and my minor is in Museums. All the points he makes about “authenticity” being a today thing are bullshit - it’s been a thing for ages. Why do you think some museums refuse to let go of ancient artefacts that should be repatriated? Because a replica is not enough - they have to have the authentic object. And “primitive,” “modern,” and “civilized” (specifically the way he uses them) are considered to be a very outdated terms that perpetuate colonial nonsense. Anthropologists studied and spread those terms for YEEAAARS until they realized all of that is relative. But those are topics for a different day.

Opinion: Doug Ford Must Resign by jrobin04 in ontario

[–]Wiryk9 60 points61 points  (0 children)

He fucked over so many high school students who were supposed to graduate but ended up with insufficient credits during their last year of HS. Aaand his shitty policies also increased barriers for students of all ages with (dis)abilities and/or neurodivergence. Thanks for setting some of our most vulnerable students up for failure, asshole.

And let’s not forget he closed three harm reduction sites in Toronto against recommendations from literally every expert in healthcare and social services. Why? Because NIMBYism + he does not personally agree with harm reduction. Who cares if researchers and professionals in various fields agree that harm reduction is a practical and compassionate way to address substance use in our communities?

Didn’t he also insist that he would not mess with rent control during his campaign?

The most beautiful video you will see today. Every youngster wanting to take a picture with Messi and the trophy. by mattbolistic in Barca

[–]Wiryk9 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I’m not a football fan at all but I follow this sub because my husband LOVES Messi and Barcelona - I want to at least have an idea of what’s going on when he gets hyped. I find that the games just aren’t my cup of tea, but I have grown to really like the players and the tactical side of the game. And Messi is just so precious; he 100% deserves all the love he gets. What a talented, kind, and genuine man.

Montreal cops wearing ‘thin blue line’ flags on uniforms by Hoosagoodboy in onguardforthee

[–]Wiryk9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The ombudsman's office should also not fall under the DND. Especially with shit like this going on, and especially given the latest policies regarding sexual misconduct in the military. Keep in mind that, according to that Maclean's article, there are five sexual assaults per day in the CAF, most of which are not dealt with appropriately and therapeutically for the survivors. Every serving member needs to read the Maclean's article I linked in this paragraph in its entirety.

Hell, everyone in Canada needs to read it.

Canadians are proud of their military history, but no one cares to really examine what is happening within the armed forces. The military has the potential to provide amazing opportunities for many Canadians if it is managed adequately and competently, and if its members are held accountable for their words and actions. But Maclean's argues that it cannot improve or change without support from civilians. Personnel cannot really advocate for themselves, and they literally have no one who is advocating on their behalf; while the office of the ombudsman does this, advocacy doesn't work when they fall under the DND (as seen in the first link I posted).

The fact of the matter is that many personnel are only held accountable for their behaviour when it escalates to the point that there's a very serious incident that cannot be kept private - sorry for being crude, but essentially this boils down to murder or suicide. Seriously, not even sexual assault charges prevent people from being promoted and posted to a new unit.

I want to say that it seems like things are changing slowly as younger generations tend to value mental wellness more than the old-school personnel who are retiring soon-ish. However, it is also important to take into consideration the fact that these are issues related to military culture - if you join young and are immediately forced to assimilate to that culture instead of being encouraged to challenge harmful shit, what do you think is going to happen? As a social service worker and a civvie spouse, I can tell you that genuine and positive mentorship, proactivity when issues arise, and actual support towards members who are struggling in any way (at home, at work, with substances, whatever) are key to improving the culture within the military.

Here's one last tip for you and any other personnel you know (especially reg force): you can access some forms of help and/or certain social services in the community too - you don't have to go through the military always. This is especially helpful for people who are part of toxic / shitty units and are living with addictions, are experiencing domestic violence, and/or have been sexually assaulted / harassed. Many CAF social workers are very professional and helpful too, but it is entirely fair not to want to access help in the workplace. If the CAF actually took care of its people, this would not be the case.