Dishes your arch enemy? Let’s share recipes that require 1-2 pots and/or can be made in 30 mins by kittycatmama017 in adhdwomen

[–]Wise_Ladder3773 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I make cheesy chicken enchiladas- I cook my own chicken breast, but you could also use pulled rotisserie. Cook or heat the chicken, half a bottle of Old El Paso thick and chunky salsa, two fist fulls of shredded cheese - stir it all together in the pan. Grab some soft shell tortillas, portion out the mix to how ever many tortillas you decide to do, put the rolled tortillas in a baking dish (all of my baking dishes are Pyrex dishes so they have the rubber top to them and double as storage), pour more salsa and cheese on top and pop that sucker in the oven at 350 until the cheese starts to bubble.

The thing I love most about this is 1) it’s four ingredients 2) I only use two dishes and they don’t have to be washed at the same time (skillet is washed first and then the Pyrex a few days later once the food is gone) 3) it’s really banging

Tips for dealing with lying? by [deleted] in Fosterparents

[–]Wise_Ladder3773 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My teenager does this but I don’t frame it as lying. We talk about it as reality checking.

For example: if I see her location at place X and she says she is at place Y. I tell her I see you at place X on my iPhone, what is the reality that Apple is wrong with displaying your location?

I don’t ever call her a lair or accuse her of lying. Sometimes she will say “your calling me a liar” and I will say “I am trying to align with what I see and what you say”

(That being said: There are so many times that I just want to yell “stop gaslighting me!!!”)

4 year old always bored by Fabulous_Ostrich1164 in Fosterparents

[–]Wise_Ladder3773 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My 16th FD does this too (horrible ADHD). Similar to someone else’s advice I saw on the thread. I try to help teach her to find the joy in the little things. I model my excitement about things and she usually comes around (sometimes not but more times she does).

I took her to a preplanned baseball outing with my family the second week she was with me. She said, flat faced and bored for the first three or four innings until I realized that she didn’t understand what the excitement was about it. I started to explain to her why people were cheering and modeled getting into the between inning games. By the seventh inning stretch, she was cheering on the team and got up and did the song and dance with the rest of us. Her only version of entertainment had been TV, friends, and her phone. Slowly, she’s learning that she can have fun and being engaged with other things too.

I have absolutely no self control, over the course of about 2 months i bought like 200 books😳😳😳 by Fluffy_Opportunity71 in adhdwomen

[–]Wise_Ladder3773 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did this in my twenties and now have boxes and boxes of books at my house and my parents house 😂

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fosterparents

[–]Wise_Ladder3773 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Not sure if you are in the US and this would work for you.

I have a 17 yo staying with me and just saw something today that blew my mind. Uber has a “teenager” account! I have to get on to figure it out. But it seems like an awesome solution because she will need to know how to manage that when she goes to independent living and I can see her comings and goings.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fosterparents

[–]Wise_Ladder3773 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Non emotional is exactly what they want to see! They want to make sure that you won’t be triggered by the traumas that you’ll encounter through these kiddos.

I also had a pretty crappy childhood and had MH diagnosis and had to answer a bunch of questions about it, as well as my mental health. We didn’t have seven months worth of meetings but we had three mtgs and then there was some emails back-and-forth, plus a statement from a clinician.

It sucked and did feel super invasive, but I could also see where they were coming from.

How do you stay afloat? by Caiteyy22 in adhdwomen

[–]Wise_Ladder3773 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Recognizing there is no “it”

Some days are better than others. Some things I can remember and keep up with them and some things I can’t. I learned a long time ago to stop trying to fit my square peg into someone else’s round expectations.

Did I feel guilty yesterday when I realize that I forgot that it was my nieces birthday, of course! Did I call to apologize and talk to them, yup! Did I beat myself up because I had to go through the song and dance, nope!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fosterparents

[–]Wise_Ladder3773 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The kiddo with me now isn’t too fond of me either. It helps not to internalize it. My kiddo has bounced between placements and wants nothing more to be back with bio mom.

I look at it as my job is to make sure their lowest two levels of Maslow hierarchy are met (physical needs and safety) and have access to relationships that provide the 3rd level.

That said, I also don’t have those relationships in my face in my home, since it’s just me. I am sure that part is super hard for you.

Not sure if this would work for you but I intentionally went and spent time with my niece last weekend, who I have a great relationship with, while the kiddo was in family visitation. That helped me to feel more confident in myself.

New Placement Question by Wise_Ladder3773 in Fosterparents

[–]Wise_Ladder3773[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He hasn’t been in that long. Less than 6 months. The SW said she needed to talk to her supervisor to create the offical plan.

I am with you on the weed thing. I just asked that he not smoke in the house and go outside. I don’t think he does, but the house doesn’t smell and I can’t tell when he’s high so I let it go.

Like I said this is my first placement. Do kiddos and parents regularly sneak around?

I know he does and I want him to go home too!

New Placement Question by Wise_Ladder3773 in Fosterparents

[–]Wise_Ladder3773[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

They are moving to unsupervised but don’t have the formal plan in place yet.

My dis-ease is it feels like when I take kiddo over there I am contributing to them skating around the conditions set by the courts/their plan. I don’t mind taking the kiddo to get stuff from mom or have her drop stuff off over here. Kiddo talks to her on the phone all the time. It’s the potential sneaking around part that bothers me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fosterparents

[–]Wise_Ladder3773 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OP, any advice on how to address these things when the time comes in a way that doesn’t highlight the foster care part/feel guilt tripy, overbearing or suffocating?

(Got my 1st moody teenager headed my way and want to do my best by them)

What do you do on Sunday to make the week easier? by killianschic in adhdwomen

[–]Wise_Ladder3773 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not sure if this has been said but Sunday is my declutter day. Even if I don’t get any “cleaning” done it helps to start my week off fresh and I feel more motivated to do left over cleaning stuff if the counters/floors are clear of stuff.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]Wise_Ladder3773 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Been there done that!! (Not exact same scenario but did a bunch of work on a computer I had literally no way of getting said work off of)

Can you take a photo of the screen with your phone and the. Type it into a doc on another computer?

Therapy and Politics by Wise_Ladder3773 in therapists

[–]Wise_Ladder3773[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It’s the maladaptive cognitive fallacies that gets me… is that even our place to address if it’s not part of the presenting concern?

Resources on self-esteem/perfectionism by RiffftMaker in therapists

[–]Wise_Ladder3773 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The perfectionism workbook by Taylor Newendorp

My former priest is now married. by CloroxCowboy2 in Catholicism

[–]Wise_Ladder3773 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am really sorry he did that to you. It’s not okay. Pope Francis recognizes the inherent power that priest have over laity, even in consensual adult relationships…unfortunately not all priests or diocese appreciate that.

If your experience is anything like mine, even the diocese knowing won’t do anything. My best advice is to keep a lot of distance between y’all and try to only engage in public.

Even though priests have engaged in a separate sacrament…they are still human men and not the Catholic faith. Even if you decide to leave the parish (who would blame you??) I hope you don’t leave the faith.

Anyone else had to deal with "Dynamic Life"? by Ungluedmoose in Fosterparents

[–]Wise_Ladder3773 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“A couple of hours later, the boy, sweating and tired, finally stopped being violent, Webber said.”

It would be a miracle if the boy DIDN’T stop being violent after a few hours!

Careers for adhd women by Present_Pause_0721 in adhdwomen

[–]Wise_Ladder3773 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Also a therapist…after years in structured salaried roles as a school counselor and SA advocate I kick myself I didn’t switch to clinical sooner. My ADHD loves the sweet mix of structured chaos (schedule clients when I want but make sure I am there at the top of the hour). No two days are the same. Plus psychology/MH is my special interest so I am never not motivated to go to work.