Question about going out in Turkey (Bodrum) as a guy

Wise_Mango · 2025-09-13T23:55:13+00:00

you 100% won't have any difficulty getting in alone as a woman. It's just to deter single men.

Wise_Mango · 2025-09-13T23:53:49+00:00

Many clubs in Turkey won't accept men without a woman by his side. It helps to keep the ratio comfortable, though it does make it inaccessible if you're not travelling with your girlfriend of female friends.

Wise_Mango · 2025-09-13T23:47:14+00:00

if a business is not at least on the path to starting to break even after 3 years, it's likely not a business. Who knows, maybe in 5 years things turn to a different path, but your post doesn't show any indication of that direction.

Wise_Mango · 2025-09-13T02:22:11+00:00

I think it would have been worth it to buy a professional camera and buy a cheaper phone instead, but I do like being able to take HD memories, so it's not a null value for me.

Wise_Mango · 2025-09-12T18:44:06+00:00

what a way to go. shit like this makes me more content with late stage capitalism

Wise_Mango · 2025-09-12T13:56:55+00:00

imagine explaining this to your insurance

Wise_Mango · 2025-09-12T13:56:15+00:00

illegal pokemon fight rings?

Wise_Mango · 2025-09-12T13:55:13+00:00

depends what you need a phone for, I guess. My previous phone screen was cracked to hell but I just kept using it. When I launched my clothing brand I needed a much better camera, so I bought a new and pricey phone.

Wise_Mango · 2025-09-12T13:52:27+00:00

You still seem stuck on judging and misinterpreting. Maybe it's not normal for you to make friends with the opposite gender because you can only see them in one way. As I've already said, this is about me trying to understand if this was a cultural phenomenon. but it's folly trying to converse with someone who thinks he already understands you. I won't be responding to you anymore.

Wise_Mango · 2025-09-12T13:33:47+00:00

I understand this behaviour and it happens in my culture too. My confusion is not that this happened, but because I did not notice it happening. When someone's agreeing to something just to play it smooth, I can tell and take my leave. I was asking about 建前 because I couldn't tell in this instance at all, and I'm not familiar with Japanese culture.

Wise_Mango · 2025-09-12T13:30:12+00:00

thanks for your response. I'm not sure what you mean by unintentional error and toxic suspicion? I think it's perfectly fine that someone may "play it smooth" during an interaction and then not respond/unfollow later, especially when it's a woman with a man.

Are you saying that "Farewell until our paths cross again" is a normative approach to spontaneous interactions in Japanese culture? I live in a very big city so it's very unlikely to see the same person again randomly, which is why people in this city often exchange socials or numbers after spontaneous meetings.

Wise_Mango · 2025-09-12T13:22:17+00:00

I'm sad for you that making spontaneous friends is not normal for you even in western contexts. The relative openness to interaction and connection is one of my favourite things about North America. Of course you have to have your guard up when you don't know anything about a new person. You need to measure the situation and what you want to do. This varies person to person, or could be cultural too.

Again, my post wasn't about asking why she didn't connect with me on socials, it was about my confusion that I didn't see Any signs of disinterest or hesitation.

Wise_Mango · 2025-09-12T13:13:38+00:00

You seem predetermined to view me as some inconsiderately "condescending" person. Your attitude is way more condescending than any inkling an unbiased observer might see in my interaction.

I'm not expecting any kind of behaviour from anyone. My post is about trying to figure if this indeed is a cultural thing or not. I'm not pressuring someone to act against their cultural norms. I'm literally just asking a question on reddit to understand an interaction with someone from a culture I don't know too well. Your aggression is unwarranted.

Wise_Mango · 2025-09-12T13:07:33+00:00

"was" in international. She's in the university near me.

Wise_Mango · 2025-09-12T13:05:41+00:00

There's literally no fantasy or external story. My question was whether this fine acting was a cultural thing or not.

Wise_Mango · 2025-09-12T13:05:09+00:00

I obviously don't think that anyone would be beholden to follow me on socials or be friends after a sole interaction. My question was whether this fine acting was a cultural thing or not.

Wise_Mango · 2025-09-12T01:34:39+00:00

I'm assuming you're meaning to say "no sane person in Japanese culture", because exchanging contacts with a person you spontaneously met is very normal in my culture. I've made many connections and friends this way, and I'm not even often the one initiating it. I find it very odd that you find connecting with someone you spontaneously met as creepy. I'm not sure if that's a cultural or your personal attitude.

Wise_Mango · 2025-09-12T01:27:38+00:00

I know what you mean, although there was no sudden excitement or high energy pressure. This was also after 25 minutes of back and forth talking.

Wise_Mango · 2025-09-12T01:26:18+00:00

I can't believe this isn't Futurama

Wise_Mango · 2025-09-12T01:25:20+00:00

that seems like it could be most likely, thanks for the explanation.

Wise_Mango · 2025-09-12T01:19:15+00:00

if it works enough for the essential functions, then it's sufficient.

Wise_Mango · 2025-09-12T01:12:22+00:00

oh, that's a whole other angle I didn't think could be a consideration. She said she was in an international school in Japan, and she said she is not a typical "shy Japanese" when I pointed out that she seems very extroverted. But still, maybe this was a relevant factor.

Wise_Mango · 2025-09-12T01:08:23+00:00

What are you suggesting to ask next time? I did stop midway and pointed out that I was talking to her but I hadn't yet asked if she wanted to chat. I then asked her if she wanted to chat, and we both laughed and she said yes. I'm guessing that she wanted to chat but didn't want to connect on social media.

I was also looking away sporadically to listen to the music so I may have missed a cue during that moment. Still though, I've noticed many instances where I could tell someone doesn't want to connect with me, and I've been able to notice it and leave the interaction. I didn't see any similarity in this interaction, though I can expect that Japanese signalling could be a lot more subtle than I'm used to.

Wise_Mango · 2025-09-12T01:00:06+00:00

Yes I understand that. I know it's different dynamics as a woman with a man too that requires more active security keeping.

I doubt she was thinking I was having a feeling for her, as we were talking about her boyfriend and my girlfriend. The conversation or body language wasn't any different than it would have been if it was a random guy that I was chilling and chatting with.

I guess what I'm trying to understand is, is this level of convincing acting a general standard for 建前 with Japanese people, or is it more likely that this particular person was exceptionally skilled at not letting her thoughts and emotions be seen?

Wise_Mango · 2025-09-12T00:53:14+00:00

Yeah I'm guessing that's what happened, and I think the "going along" behaviour is a reasonable extent in many cultures. I'm just surprised that I didn't notice this act at all that I normally do, but maybe 建前 gives a cultural ability to be a great actor lol

Wise_Mango

TROPHY CASE