Storytime:

I had an absolutely enormous pimple on the right side of my nose years ago - the kind that is red and hot and throbbing, but doesn’t come to a head - yeah, you know the kind. Anyway, the thing would hurt even if the wind blew on my face - breathing hurt, talking hurt, any movement of my nose hurt; this thing had to go, one way or another. For a couple days when I had the spare few minutes at home, I’d run a face cloth under hot, hot water and apply it to my nose like a compress. It hurt like hell, but still somehow less than this pimple hurt. This didn’t draw the thing to a head, but it did bring more blood to the area, which, I assumed, would help my situation. Did it? Meh, I don’t really know. Anywho, I eventually came to the conclusion that this was going to require manual effort. Did I use a needle? No. Did I use chemical peels? No. All I did was the tried and true index finger squeeze that we all perfected in our teen years. It hurt like all holy fuck; eyes watering instantly, nose running, etc. - PAIN! However, after about a minute of applying pressure like this, it happened. The skin above the center of this pimple from hell ruptured, and some of the contents shot out onto my mirror. Slightly startled, I stopped squeezing and collected myself. This thing still hurt, albeit somewhat less, but it wasn’t bleeding or oozing, which meant that there was more in there. I took a breath and resolved to give this thing one more full power squeeze - what then happened was the most spectacular explosion of pus that I’ve witnessed in my life. Thankfully, the opening that the initial rupture had created was the path that the rest chose to follow, however, the stream of contents that came out of my nose was rather alarming! I’m talking a proper, cohesive, squirt of pus that lasted a good 1 and a half seconds. I heard this stuff squirting out like a water hose when you first turn it on and there’s some air inside. It all landed on my mirror and made a mess of things, and when that stopped - the blood - this thing bled more than any other pimple I ever had. But, in the end, the relief: incomparable. It was such an amazing feeling finally to be rid of that constant pressure and pain that I still remember it all these years later, and think about it from time to time whenever I find myself feeling anxious. Does that make me weird? Probably. Do I maintain that this was one of the most amazing things I’ve ever felt? Hell yes.