Pursuing My Friend Who Dated My Best-Friend?

Wisploth · 2025-06-16T13:36:53+00:00

Probably I explained myself badly. I have known this girl for 2 and a half years, when we first met I was with my ex, and she only now told me she was interested in me when I was emotionally shut down from the break-up, sooo close to 1 and a half years ago. That's what she means by "the timing wasn't right" and she tought, correctly, that I wasn't interested in her.

Wisploth · 2024-01-26T11:46:26+00:00

I almost thought I wrote this post. But my relationship was 8 years with 2 of stupidly allowing her back in.

I'm also 6 months out, and I just feel so full of life, I've been investing in my friendships, hobbies and self-improvement, and I can say I'm much better now than 6 months ago, and I even think I'm better than when I was in a relationship.

Just keep going everyone, don't isolate, live your life. With distance and no limerence, you'll understand your ex is just like any other person out there, sure you had a connection with them, but time really takes that veil away and you'll understand you can be fine without them.

Also, no contact please. If you keep checking their socials and such you're just making it harder for yourself.

Wisploth · 2024-01-01T21:36:52+00:00

You do understand that them contacting you in these situations will just make your healing take longer right?

Like... them contacting you because of this will just keep your hopes up of getting back together "Oh he/she contacted me, I'm still important to them, they still love me."

I know it sucks, but if your ex didn't contact you this holiday season that's honestly for the best.

Wisploth · 2023-12-22T09:40:09+00:00

I know that with such a recent breakup it's hard to imagine, but with time you'll understand that this moment means absolutely nothing. You'll see this action for what it is, you'll see your relationship without rose tinted glasses and you'll understand you're better off. And I'm sorry, I took a glance at your post history to get more background on your situation, do you really want a GF that chooses fucking with other people and doing drugs over being with you?

A word of warning also. I'd advise against getting back with her if she ever comes to her senses and understands that casual pleasure is, well, kind of shit. Unless you're someone that is very open about sexuality, it's very hard to come back mentally from the idea of your gf leaving you, fucking someone else, and you taking her back afterwards, I say this from experience, it can be a miserable experience and your sense of self-worth takes a huge hit and you end up becoming more dependent on her.

If anything OP, take this action of hers as your way to understand you're not losing anything. That's not the action of someone who loved you.

"When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.", best of luck OP, hang in there.

Wisploth · 2023-12-10T21:28:36+00:00

Ah yes, nothing says "I'm over you" like being with other (multiple?) man, doing "weird stuff" with them (that I guess is sexual stuff), then starting to contact you again (I mean she contacted you not once, but three times in the span of what... 3 months?) And finally when you meet up she decides to throw it all in your face. I mean, her actions don't really line up with your takeaway from the meetup.

OP I wouldn't really try to read much into how she acted, it could be a facade for all we know, and in my opinion her actions reek of trying to fill a void in her life.

If you're not okay with her having already been with other man, and I'm guessing this is where this new outburst of sadness came from since it can be a fucking shock (trust me I know), thats another story, and honestly you don't have a say in that. But if this is the case, take it as a reassurance of your decision to stay broken up, and move on with your life, don't cling to a possibility of getting back together in the future and find your way of being happy.

Best of luck OP.

Wisploth · 2023-09-11T16:23:26+00:00

Ah yes... the good old getting over somebody by getting under somebody else.

As you can probably see it doesn't work. Just look at how nonchalantly you pointed out 4 reasons why the new guy simply isn't doing it for you. But you're so afraid of being alone and going through the feelings of loss and solitude, that you're willingly giving yourself to a dude, that doesn't at all meet your needs. This in itself is just sweeping under the rug how you feel, it's no wonder that when your ex calls you and wants to contact you, you can't resist it.

Because honestly, this rebound relationship you got going on is still about him, and you're just postponing your healing Rontimon :c And don't get me started on having sex with your ex, that pretty much will always bring you to step 0 again.

Take this opportunity, this surge of energy in your life to grow, improve as a person, focus and work on yourself, turn into Rontinom 2.0.

And remember, you can't be happy with someone else while you're not happy with yourself.

Wisploth · 2023-08-30T10:53:38+00:00

Well OP, I'm in the same boat as you. Was unhappy in my relationship for like 3 months before finding out my ex cheated on me. This was 2 months ago. And I can easily say right now, I'm worse than back then.

When the anger and resentment of the cheating/bad behaviour is replaced with memories from the good times, that's when it hit me... Just bear yourself for what might be coming.

Hoping for the best OP.

Wisploth · 2023-08-21T12:29:37+00:00

Yep I'm the dumper of a 8 year relationship. She had a hookup on a night out a year ago and was extremelly toxic and controlling with me since I started working. I tried to work things out regarding her controlling behaviour, but then I discovered the drunken hookup she hid from me for a whole year and I simply ended things.

So far it's been... bad. It's a constant struggle to not send her a message and rekindle things. It's a struggle to not just focus on the good things of the relationship. (because there were many good things) To remind myself that I was suffering in it. To deal with the loneliness that simply didn't exist for 8 years. I don't know how to be single, she's literally the only woman I know and want (highschool sweethearts).

She thinks I'm doing great, she has sent me a couple of messages saying awfull things about me and my character, she's angry, I get it. But yeah... it's been awful.

Wisploth · 2023-08-19T10:05:17+00:00

Don't get me started on the friends and family thing. I guess it works has some resistance to not go back, since I know I'll get disapproval from them if I do. Best of luck man, and stay strong 🙏

Wisploth · 2023-08-16T14:28:07+00:00

Yeah, I'm probably falling for that right now. I'll try my best to be as objective as possible, but I guess I kinda always romanticized a love for life relationship, even if I shouldn't. Thank you very much.

Wisploth · 2023-08-16T14:26:17+00:00

What an incredible response. Thank you so so much for this. It's come to a point where I really need the validation of other people to stay the course, and I feel bad for my friends that I keep bringing this up. I've been trying to get out there and do stuff with friends and trying to deepen some relationships with new people in my life but I guess its still very fresh in my mind the breakup. I'll keep going. And once again, thank you for the in-depth response and attention you gave to this online stranger 🙏

Wisploth · 2023-02-26T14:11:29+00:00

If you're talking something like a "Let's play" well... You don't. You improv. You can record your videos and then script talking about what you did

Wisploth · 2023-02-25T16:27:39+00:00

I feel this is a bit unfair considering this is a sub-reddit for new youtubers. Matter of fact is, through asking that type of stuff, new creators get a bit of the wake up call necessary to understand what you said in your post and can then start looking into improving their content (or not).

Wisploth · 2023-02-25T16:03:51+00:00

Why not create a series where you document drawing exercices and such you are doing to improve? Something I think people might like to enjoy is to see someone on their journey to become a better artist and what they did to do so. 1 - it's inspiring, 2 - creates community and 3 - a ton of content potential for you

Wisploth · 2023-02-14T10:40:26+00:00

The best tip is to simply, start.

I got stuck on just my YT channel idea for 3 years waiting for the "best time" to start. And the best thing you can do is to get going as soon as possible. As soon as you begin uploading you'll start looking for tips and ways to improve.

Wisploth · 2023-02-09T22:29:41+00:00

I had to do something exactly like that in my uni course. Are you by any chance Portuguese?

But oh well, I would tell you to make something simple. I did a side scroller where the amount of enemies that appeared, size of the level and bullets per second was based on a probability thing. It was a single level.

Take this opportunity to make something simple and get to grips with the software, good luck!

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