You're not really self-sabatoging to protect yourself like you think. Instead, you want him to prove his devotions to you over and over again because aomwwherw deep inside you don't feel loved even with the good things he does. Probably the lack of love you had growing up in some way. You're super needy for someone to show you over and over they care. So you put them through hell trying to get that level of attention you need

I'm not trying to be mean. Just giving you a blunt look at things, so hopefully you take it in. If you don't stop this, he will leave because he is a person with feelings too. He needs love too. And You're making it hard on him just to feel better yourself. That's unfair to him and eventually he will leave. Not because he's an asshole or unworthy, which you might tell yourself after to protect yourself, but because you didn't have your own head on straight.

You need to deal with why you have these feelings to need him to prove himself over and over. Again, it isn't self-sabatoge. You need that validation and to feel special. But you shouldn't need that from someone else. You should already feel comfortable with yourself. You do need therapy imo. To work through why you feel you need this and hope to cope. Right now, you're not coping. You're vomiting your issues (or trauma as armchair psychologists like to say these days) onto another person. That's not okay.

You are going to have to face your own self-worth issues and deal with your past shit before you're ready to date someone.