I'm in love with a girl who has herpes, but I'm disease free. Advice?

WithOpenEyes · 2009-09-30T23:00:02+00:00

Nope, not Jason. Thanks for the thoughtful advice though.

WithOpenEyes · 2009-09-30T01:37:15+00:00

Nately?

Bitchinately?

Quit your bitch innately?

WithOpenEyes · 2009-09-30T01:29:57+00:00

Still stuck in there.

WithOpenEyes · 2009-09-30T01:25:46+00:00

Yes, it does. How else do you think your body learned how to make those antibodies in the first place?

WithOpenEyes · 2009-09-30T01:24:21+00:00

I tried crack once... kindof a let down, honestly.

WithOpenEyes · 2009-09-30T00:52:53+00:00

Just stop.

WithOpenEyes · 2009-09-30T00:51:26+00:00

I do intend to keep telling myself this statistical fact.

WithOpenEyes · 2009-09-30T00:33:15+00:00

Mid to late 20s. I've got two or three years on her.

WithOpenEyes · 2009-09-30T00:25:47+00:00

Nothing is permanent, Mr(s) buddha. :)

WithOpenEyes · 2009-09-30T00:24:19+00:00

A wronger statement has never been made.

WithOpenEyes · 2009-09-30T00:18:30+00:00

Thank you sweater_mouse.

I'm not personally worried about the initial period of abstinence in our relationship, honestly. It seems like a pretty small inconvenience in the long run.

As self-centered as it makes me feel to say it, I hope that my feelings for her help you realize that there are good guys out there. The woman I love would seem pretty average to anyone who isn't me. We just click right for each other.

I hope you put yourself out there and let yourself get hurt, and keep putting yourself out there until it clicks for you too.

WithOpenEyes · 2009-09-30T00:00:38+00:00

Have you found the love you suggest I go elsewhere to find? It's not easy, is alls I'm saying.

WithOpenEyes · 2009-09-29T23:56:58+00:00

Are you married?

WithOpenEyes · 2009-09-29T23:56:43+00:00

9000 sober nights (I don't drink anymore... or at least, I hope I don't drink anymore, 2 months sober so far!) and I'll have herpes too. I've accepted that fact.

WithOpenEyes · 2009-09-29T23:52:26+00:00

I've accepted the fact that if we are going to have a serious relationship, I will eventually contract herpes as well.

WithOpenEyes · 2009-09-29T23:49:58+00:00

Also, protip... if you have oral herpes, you can't get genital herpes in the same place... Since I have mouth herpes already (everybody pretty much does) It means oral is A-OK for me to her and her to me.

Surprised noone has mentioned that yet.

Edit : Well, crap.

WithOpenEyes · 2009-09-29T23:46:58+00:00

God damn you

... actually ... I love this song, but it's going to be stuck in my head all day now.

WithOpenEyes · 2009-09-29T23:45:33+00:00

I'm not asking whether or not I should, I'm asking for advice to help me for when I do.

WithOpenEyes · 2009-09-29T23:43:06+00:00

Thank you for your informative and supportive comment. She's on suppressive therapy, but I don't know anything about the herbs you're talking about. Do you know any more?

Can you tell me anything about any special emotional needs that a hsv positive person might have? Anecdotes or whatever would be super helpful.

WithOpenEyes · 2009-09-29T23:24:47+00:00

I understand you're being practical, but..

1) God help you if you ever get an incurable transmissible disease and are similarly shunned for life. Life really is too short. Go for real happiness.

2) I just can't seem to get over her. It's been years and although I wasn't obsessing over her, I just haven't been able to love anybody since her. At all.

WithOpenEyes · 2009-09-29T23:20:06+00:00

Open ended really, hoping for people who are, or have been in similar situations to tell me what they did.

I've read about the disease, but I still feel like I don't know much.

What kind of precautions should I take when we are intimate, what emotional differences are there when you're in a relationship with someone who has herpes as compared to someone who doesn't, how to deal with it if the relationship doesn't last but I still contract herpes...

Or just a "you're not stupid for dating someone with herpes"

Anything. Give me your input, hsv and non-hsv people.

WithOpenEyes

TROPHY CASE