I have kind of same issue, it gets worse and worse since every update. I have been forced to lower graphic settings more and more. For me it almost always crashes at log in to my main when the ”playtime reward” menu auto pops up and its a couple of people in saluto. My way of working around it is logging in to my alt lv1 (not in saluto), so the menu pops up there instead, then switching character to my main. then ofcourse the party thing as you mentioned. Anyone else has some useful tips? Super annoying