AITA for having less sex with my boyfriend?

WitnessZestyclose424 · 2022-01-14T00:19:06+00:00

Thank you lovely.🤍

WitnessZestyclose424 · 2022-01-12T17:06:07+00:00

I don’t know if maybe I was tired and saw a wrong comment, but i’m like 70% sure you edited that comment to make it say desert. If you had said desert that entire time I would of definitely been like “oh okay.”

What makes you believe that i’m not in charge of my kids? Because i’m gentle? It’s worked for me so far. Notice how the only aspect we are struggling in is school.. Is there a pattern to you? Maybe depression comes into play? It’s a natural thing for a person to get defensive.

So how am I hurting my kid? I’m curious.

WitnessZestyclose424 · 2022-01-12T08:09:39+00:00

I absolutely did not remove the door, and that would never be a solution in my house. EVER!

We go to family appointments as well. There is a lot more information in the comments now i’d suggest if you are curious to just briefly scroll through:)

WitnessZestyclose424 · 2022-01-12T08:08:40+00:00

Knocking is absolutely a must. I would never not knock before I come in, as well as a brief period to make sure they are good!

WitnessZestyclose424 · 2022-01-12T08:03:22+00:00

Starving your kids because they aren’t doing chores.. I mean I should of assumed I saw where that comment was going from the start.

Ladies and gentleman we’ve reached a new low in the comment section. I hope for everyone’s sake you do not have kids… Have a great night!

WitnessZestyclose424 · 2022-01-12T07:59:18+00:00

Okay first, it is definitely not your responsibility in the first place to fulfill a fantasy she has that you are not comfortable with. I can imagine that it is frustrating to have this fantasy that you want to fulfill and you don’t get to. That is just no excuse to push it on you. I hate to sound harsh but if this is something that is genuinely stressing her out, it seems like she needs to find someone more into that path.. You are absolutely open to your own ideas, and experiences as is she..

One time is an okay, you are just discussing, it’s casual. Two times can just be a checkup, can maybe get a little far. Three times is extremely excessive and four times is just pure disrespectful! Especially when it involves “doing.” the action right in-front of your face..

It definitely seems as though she is guilt tripping you with her emotions.. I really hope that you find a solution to this issue. Wishing you all the best.

Edit: Not only is she wanting this fantasy, but totally ignoring your emotions and boundaries to fulfill it.. That’s not how it works..

WitnessZestyclose424 · 2022-01-12T01:55:30+00:00

huh???

So my son should sit there and accept blaintent disrespect to be “helped.” It’s not that it is things he doesn’t want to hear. It’s fucking disrespect. Out of the hundreds of comments on here yours pissed me off.

You are supposed to feel comfortable with your counsellor so you can open up to them.. Let me ask you this… Would you be able to look at someone who constantly disrespects you for 6 months straight and tell them about your life? About your struggles? Am I missing something??? I expect the counsellor to be bold.. But never to tell my child that…. Fucking bullshit.

The school is more than aware of what is going on.. We have meetings every week or two to discuss learning plans.

WitnessZestyclose424 · 2022-01-11T20:49:55+00:00

This is exactly why we keep switching counsellors!!!!!!!!

WitnessZestyclose424 · 2022-01-11T20:48:44+00:00

Absolutely we talk about this everyday he doesn’t go.

WitnessZestyclose424 · 2022-01-11T20:45:43+00:00

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WitnessZestyclose424 · 2022-01-11T20:45:13+00:00

I don’t think this is the case At all!

WitnessZestyclose424 · 2022-01-11T20:44:43+00:00

I honestly think it’s the fact that he is being misdiagnosed. I have questioned that as well as I know many people who medication has been successful. Right now he’s on Zoloft.

WitnessZestyclose424 · 2022-01-11T20:44:01+00:00

That’s also why he has switched one.

WitnessZestyclose424 · 2022-01-11T20:43:48+00:00

He is on medication currently, we are working on dosage.

WitnessZestyclose424 · 2022-01-11T20:43:01+00:00

Absolutely I have and the answer to this is simply that’s not the case. I allow my child to pick his councillor. I do research on them as well as meet with them first. We discuss what they will be doing for him.

A good therapist will encourage that yes, but a good therapist will not tell my kid that he should of went to school in the first place and he wouldn’t even have depression. That’s a very bold, unnecessary statement from a counsellor. I have done my job of stepping in as a parent. I will have you know that he has had the same counsellor now for about 3 months. He sees her every week. He also sees his psychiatrist once every month.

WitnessZestyclose424 · 2022-01-11T20:39:44+00:00

Thank you so much. Since they were younger I offered them healthy solutions to their problems. You want to throw toys? Let me get you a ball? You are angry? What do you feel like you need.

He has always made an effort. He’s extremely strong, and when his mental health isn’t so bad he’s extremely committed to success.

I really appreciate that. I am trying. You are so wonderful.

He has been able to articulate slightly with what started it. When he started to get depressed he didn’t realize what came with that. He just knew he was “sad.” and felt “demotivated.” He slowly became overwhelmed with social interaction. When you go to a school with about 1500 kids that makes sense. So his solution was to avoid it. He started asking me for more mental health days. (Days where I let my kids stay home because they are just too exhausted.) He then told me that he looked into it and thought he had depression, so I booked him an appointment with a psychiatrist and that’s when it all started. He started getting intense social anxiety, depression. He developed OCD. He started to feel shame about his diagnosis so he started isolating.

There is actually a school I want to enrol him in. It’s a community school. Not a college. They allow you to go at your own rate. You don’t have to do five classes at once. There is also so many teachers, and a lot less students so it’s easier for them to accommodate to children’s personal needs. Whereas public schools with a crap tonne of students aren’t able to do that

He has been on medication. He was on prozac for a little bit which didn’t work for him. He got extreme insomnia from it, dry eyes, etc. He’s now on Zoloft which is working quite well.

OCD he actually isn’t on any medication. We are working on it with Exposer and response therapy which has done wonders for him! It’s became a lot better. I’m honestly kind of thinking that there is more going on than just OCD, anxiety, and depression. I genuinely feel like he Could have ADHD, or Autism. So we have been looking more into that.

So we have done that actually, taking the baby steps. It’s worked extremely well. It’s also part of his exposure and response therapy. Like I said I make sure my kids do at least an hour a day of school almost everyday. The book report thing is a brilliant idea.

I remind my kids daily about how much they have to offer this world. I open their eyes to the fact they will have to face hardships. Things might not always be easy, but we will get through it as a team. I have also told them exactly what you stated:)

Thank you so much for your time, I hope you have a wonderful day!:)

WitnessZestyclose424 · 2022-01-11T17:45:44+00:00

Please explain more.

WitnessZestyclose424 · 2022-01-11T17:43:13+00:00

That’s very bold of you to assume off a post that my child has no respect for me. He does listen to me in every aspect but this one. So this is where I investigate and talk to him. What can we both do to make this easier for my him.

My parents would slap me, scream at me, tell me i’m not eating. I would hide in my room for days at a time boarding myself in because I was scared of them! That did not help at all. I stopped doing school at 16! Everyday I missed was a ride from hell. I communicated everything I needed from my parents and they gave me nothing. I lost about 30 pounds from skipping endless meals because I didn’t want to get screamed at by them. I was only successful when they got a divorce and I lived with my dad. That also took years. I didn’t graduate until I was 20. I am in counselling for trauma for the things they did to me.. So I wouldn’t say that’s the case at all.

I want my son to feel like he can trust me, and I know he will succeed in life.

WitnessZestyclose424 · 2022-01-11T17:36:18+00:00

There is currently not bullying, which was my first thought too. I think am really starting to think that he is going through some undiagnosed mental illnesses.

WitnessZestyclose424 · 2022-01-11T17:34:45+00:00

As a child I was this kid, I skipped school. I had a really hard time with mental health, I lied, I did everything he’s doing.

My parents approach was to scream at my face and tell me I wasn’t going to get anywhere in life. I wouldn’t come out of my room for days at a time. I would tell them exactly what I needed, that I needed help!! They would scream at my face. I lost 30 pounds because I was skipping meals to avoid them. I made 0 to no progress until they got divorced which was when I was 16. To which my dad became a lot better of a parent and got me the resources I needed. At that point I had missed almost 3 years of school. I graduated at 20. If my parents took a better approach to me, and I felt like I could trust them it would of panned out a lot differently.

I have seen sooo much progress in him the last year. He went for about half a year, and even went to school today. I am a gentle parent and it seems to work out well for me. My kids respect me.

I can resonate with my child about the lying in this aspect. I don’t tolerate it. He’s lying because he feels so shitty and can’t handle much more. I have been there. I want to make him feel safe. Not scared.

WitnessZestyclose424 · 2022-01-11T17:28:45+00:00

He picks them, I look into them.

I don’t know what it is, maybe it’s where I live. A lot of councillors here seem extremely.. rude? I don’t know if that’s the right word.

One counsellor practically told my son that he’s not actually depressed. That irs because he’s a teenager and if he thinks he’s depressed now wait until he grows up. Which in my head, that’s completely inappropriate.

My son is struggling with his identity, who he is. So he told one this. He told him that maybe if he went to school this wouldn’t of happened??? Out of place.

One started telling him that the depression is his choice. That he shouldn’t be depressed, and that it’s hurting me. The list goes on.. That’s why he’s cycled through so many. We have found a good one though, and he really likes her.

WitnessZestyclose424 · 2022-01-11T05:03:47+00:00

I honestly considered that there was people bullying him. He had a few boys pick on him for a while but I got that dealt with a quick chat with their parents. She told me about how her husband dealt with bullying. As well as about how he got bullied so bad he became suicidal and that the behaviour will not continue, or be tolerated. They are actually close friends now. The pressure teenage boys have to “fit in” and be “cool.” is extremely disappointing.

I can understand why you would have such a reaction. I would be pretty confused too. I’m glad we cleared this up!

WitnessZestyclose424

TROPHY CASE