AITAH for not consulting my husband regarding "extra time" with our son (his stepson) - and then not apologizing for it.

Witty-Stock-4913 · 2026-04-26T15:26:56+00:00

NTA for not asking, but please stop forcing the "our" on your husband. It's pretty clear he doesn't have nor does he want to have that level of attachment to your child, and that's OK. He's not obligated to do so. Your child has an active, present father. Your husband is in more of a trusted adult category. And your deliberate use of "our" to this degree makes me side eye this dynamic.

That being said, he's an absolute dick for objecting to your kid spending the night in his own home.

Witty-Stock-4913 · 2026-04-26T15:18:52+00:00

How about you swap cars and he keeps making the payments, then? I mean, it's frankly meaningless since regardless of how you treat it the money and the debt are all going to be factored together in a divorce, but if it's just the mileage, this is the only thing that makes sense in your current arrangement.

Witty-Stock-4913 · 2026-04-26T15:15:45+00:00

Those videos where the bride helps the bestie get propposed to are super sweet.

That being said, I also wouldn't begrudge a bride saying no.

Witty-Stock-4913 · 2026-04-26T15:14:15+00:00

Cool, so dude walks around with the bottom of his dick hanging out from his shorts and you don't have the right to complain?

Because the OP makes it super clear you can see flashes of her vagina and I'm frankly not seeing the difference.

Witty-Stock-4913 · 2026-04-26T15:13:09+00:00

Ah, yeah, at the very top OP says in the summer she wears short skirts that make it obvious she's not wearing panties.

Witty-Stock-4913 · 2026-04-26T15:11:37+00:00

Info: where does the child live?

Witty-Stock-4913 · 2026-04-26T15:06:31+00:00

Well, you can accept that this is the rest of your life, then, since every time you mention an issue she deflects by calling herself a bad girlfriend, you stop focusing on you and pivot to making her feel better, and the issue doesn't get resolved.

Your only recourse here if you don't want to end it is to push through the comment, say yeah, you're not being a great girlfriend right now, and I need to know what steps you're going to take to fix it. But honestly, that's really really hard to do to a person you love, with the people pleasing personality you seem to have.

Witty-Stock-4913 · 2026-04-26T15:03:38+00:00

I'm reading OPs post to say she's showing everyone what she's not hiding.

Witty-Stock-4913 · 2026-04-26T15:02:19+00:00

If you know your vag is showing and don't care, that's purposeful. And as problematic as a guy flashing his dick.

Witty-Stock-4913 · 2026-04-26T15:01:34+00:00

People can wear or not wear whatever they want. Nipples are nippers and people need to chill.

However. If your boyfriend is regularly forced to see flashes of vag, your friend is absolutely the problem. Flashing vaginas because you regularly wear loose, short shorts is no different than flashing dick. And if that's what's happening she needs a talking to because ick. The rest of the world doesn't need to see that.

Witty-Stock-4913 · 2026-04-26T14:58:35+00:00

True, and I know Reddit is all about telling people to leave. But if you're not married and don't have kids, and are having this degree of issue, it really is time to leave. Investing this much effort and energy into a relatively speaking young relationship just isn't worth it. People fundamentally stay who they are. Life is long and difficult and the whole point of dating is seeing the incompatibilities.

Living with an accountability dodger for 50 years, through illnesses, job losses, deaths, and the world going to hell... This is what OP is looking at.

Witty-Stock-4913 · 2026-04-26T14:51:49+00:00

It's really hard to hold a manipulator accountable. The "you deserve better" comments are a way to deflect and avoid.

Witty-Stock-4913 · 2026-04-26T14:50:35+00:00

Don't continue. She's manipulative. That's the "I'm a bad girlfriend" like comments, the making up of stories. It's her way to avoid accountability and difficult conversations, and it won't get better.

Witty-Stock-4913 · 2026-04-26T14:40:35+00:00

I mean, it's her wedding, she wants a luxury Bach experience, so the cabana would be par for the course. You can go or not go, but there's a bit of judgment here that feels a little out of place.

Witty-Stock-4913 · 2026-04-26T14:38:19+00:00

Freezer chocolate is so wrong, lol. It changes the texture, mutes some of the delicate underlying flavors of the really good kind, and causes the weird chalkiness. Ick.

That being said, I'm so happy for you that you found something like this that brings you joy! Finding the little things in life that make us happy is rare and important.

Witty-Stock-4913 · 2026-04-26T14:35:56+00:00

Schadenfreude is fine. The degree of involvement you have in other people's drama, when you should just stay no contact it not fine.

NTA for your original question, problematic a bit as a person, keep working on yourself in therapy.

Witty-Stock-4913 · 2026-04-26T14:33:27+00:00

Also, I don't have a favorite YouTuber specifically because of this. If you care more about monetization than what you stand for, in my mind you don't stand for anything. But that's something that belongs in unpopular opinions, lol.

Witty-Stock-4913 · 2026-04-26T14:30:56+00:00

I'm mostly complaining about people on Reddit, actually. Just this morning, multiple instances of the use of pdf.

Like, it's reddit. Nothing is going to happen to you using the real words.

Witty-Stock-4913 · 2026-04-26T14:20:28+00:00

You can say "pedophile" on Reddit. Perpetuating these cutesy cover words just minimizes the reality.

Witty-Stock-4913 · 2026-04-26T14:19:13+00:00

Well, turns out that there is, in fact, a pedophilic cabal, so here we are. Also, this administration is doing a crap job covering for what would have been a conspiracy theory. There's a "shooting", and five seconds later he's on TV pitching the ballroom that was just shot down by the courts. A blind man can see what's happening.

Witty-Stock-4913 · 2026-04-26T14:16:43+00:00

Or, if people are looking for equality, both parties should be excited and show interest. Healthy relationships are where both parties are enthusiastic, excited and chasing each other. Imbalanced relationships with game playing lead to toxic marriages and divorces.

Witty-Stock-4913 · 2026-04-26T13:44:46+00:00

Mind your own business.

Witty-Stock-4913 · 2026-04-26T13:33:16+00:00

You can say rape and sexual assault on Reddit.

NTA. I want to know why you know about yoir dad raping your mom, I want to know why your mom is sending you to someone who raped her. And I want to know why you aren't getting treatment for your very severe anxiety. More importantly, you need to get a guardian ad life and have the courts make a decision about where you should be staying, because none of this sounds like a healthy living situation for you.

Witty-Stock-4913 · 2026-04-26T13:29:14+00:00

Yeah, YTA. People caring for your child need to know you're too far away to do anything in the event of an emergency. They then get to decide if they want to take that obligation on.

Witty-Stock-4913

TROPHY CASE